Nicole LePera

From the creator of The Holistic Psychologist and author of the #1 New York Times bestseller How to Do the Work comes this paradigm-shifting guide to strengthen your relationships, beginning with the one you have with yourself. Relationships have long been essential to human survival. Our bodies and brains are programmed to seek out connection, both romantic and platonic. And yet, these vital bonds are often the at the root of some of our deepest suffering.  For decades, experts have posited that maintaining successful relationships requires a certain kind of compromise; of two people changing their behaviors and instincts to better meet the needs of the other. In theory, it sounds reasonable. But in reality, while feeling seen, valued, and loved are basic human yearnings, we can’t rely on others to make us feel whole—it must come from within. In How to Be the Love You Seek , New York Times bestselling author Dr. Nicole LePera—whose integrative, holistic approach to psychology has attracted an audience of millions—offers a new path to healing relationships. Harnessing the latest scientific research, she explains how the unmet needs rooted in our earliest relationships influence our connections in the present. It is only when we take responsibility for our unmet needs, she suggests, that we can begin to coexist with others in a healthy, loving way.  Whether the relationship at issue is with a spouse or partner, a parent, a sibling, a child, a friend, or a colleague—Dr. LePera teaches us how identify the wounds and conditioning that underlie discord and disconnection and begin to heal in mind and body. Complete with stories, exercises, journal prompts, and other practical guidance, How to Be the Love You Seek is poised to become an instant classic, and the go-to relationship resource for a new generation.

As a clinical psychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera often found herself frustrated by the limitations of traditional psychotherapy. Wanting more for her patients—and for herself—she began a journey to develop a united philosophy of mental, physical and spiritual wellness that equips people with the interdisciplinary tools necessary to heal themselves. After experiencing the life-changing results herself, she began to share what she’d learned with others—and soon “The Holistic Psychologist” was born. Now, Dr. LePera is ready to share her much-requested protocol with the world. In How to Do the Work, she offers both a manifesto for SelfHealing as well as an essential guide to creating a more vibrant, authentic, and joyful life. Drawing on the latest research from a diversity of scientific fields and healing modalities, Dr. LePera helps us recognize how adverse experiences and trauma in childhood live with us, resulting in whole body dysfunction—activating harmful stress responses that keep us stuck engaging in patterns of codependency, emotional immaturity, and trauma bonds. Unless addressed, these self-sabotaging behaviors can quickly become cyclical, leaving people feeling unhappy, unfulfilled, and unwell.