Lynne Truss

After the notorious 'Middle Street Massacre' of 1951, when the majority of Brighton's criminals wiped one another out in a vicious battle as the local police force enjoyed a brief stop en route for an ice cream, Inspector Steine rather enjoys life as a policeman. No criminals, no crime, no stress. He just wishes Sergeant Brunswick would stop insisting that perhaps not every criminal was wiped out that fateful day. So it's really rather annoying when an ambitious – not to mention irritating – new Constable shows up to work and starts investigating a series of burglaries. And it's even more annoying when, after Constable Twitten is despatched to the theatre for the night, he sits next to a vicious theatre critic who is promptly shot dead part way through the opening night of a new play.It seems Brighton may be in need of a police force after all…

Acclaimed New York Times bestselling author Lynne Truss Eats, Shoots & Leaves is back with a mesmerizing and hilarious tale of cats and murder For people who both love and hate cats comes the tale of Alec Charlesworth, a librarian who finds himself suddenly alone: he’s lost his job, his beloved wife has just died, and to top it all off, his sister has disappeared. Overcome by grief, he stands in his sister’s kitchen staring at the only witness to what’s happened to her – her cat, Roger. Who then speaks to him. It takes a while for Alec to realize he’s not gone mad from grief, that the cat is actually speaking . . . and that much of what we fear about cats is true. They do think they’re smarter than humans, for one thing. And, well, it seems they are! What’s more, they do have nine lives. Or at least this one does – Roger’s older than Methuselah, and his unblinking stare comes from the fact that he’s seen it all. And he’s got a tale to tell, a tale of shocking local history and dark forces that may link not only the death of Alec’s wife, but also several other local deaths. But will the cat help Alec, or is he one of the dark forces?

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air. "Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. "I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up." The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation. "Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves." Anxious about the apostrophe? Confused by the comma? Stumped by the semicolon? Join Lynne Truss on a hilarious tour through the rules of punctuation that is sure to sort the dashes from the hyphens. We all had the basic rules of punctuation drilled into us at school, but punctuation pedants have good reason to suspect they never sank in. ‘Its Summer!’ screams a sign that sets our teeth on edge. ‘Pansy’s ready’, we learn to our considerable interest (‘Is she?’) as we browse among the bedding plants. It is not only the rules of punctuation that have come under attack but also a sense of why they matter. In this runaway bestseller, Lynne Truss takes the fight to emoticons and greengrocers’ apostrophes with a war cry of ‘Sticklers unite!’

Through sloppy usage and low standards on the internet, in e-mail and now "txt msgs", we have made proper punctuation an endangered species. In "Eats, Shoots & Leaves", former editor Lynne Truss dares to say that it is time to look at our commas and semicolons and see them as the wonderful and necessary things they are. If there are only pedants left who care, then so be it. This is a book or people who love punctuation and get upset when it is mishandled. From George Orwell shunning the semicolon, to "New Yorker" editor Harold Ross's epic arguments with James Thurber over commas, this lively history makes a powerful case for the preservation of a system of printing conventions that is much too subtle to be mucked about with.

Get Het Off the Pitch! is the story of one woman's foray into the very masculine and rather baffling world of sport. Lynne Truss, author of Eats, Shoots & Leaves, spent four years as an unlikely sports writer for The Times. It was a job that took her round the world (via the most difficult journeys and least glamorous hotels) and introduced her to some of the greatest living sportsmen (and a lot of obstructive men with clipboards). During her time in the press box she was cold-shouldered by fellow sports writers; tried unsuccessfully to interpret bizarre commentary and memorise results statistics; circled Wembley in an airship eating chocolate cake; wept at football matches and, much to her surprise, discovered a lasting love of golf. Hilarious, perceptive and at times very moving, Get Her Off the Pitch! is the perfect book for those for whom sport is a matter of life and death, but also vital for those who have no idea what all the fuss is about.

"Talk to the hand 'cause the face ain't listening," the saying goes. When did the world stop wanting to hear? When did society stop valuing basic courtesy and respect? It’s a topic that has been simmering for years, and Lynne Truss says it’s now reached the boiling point. Taking on the boorish behavior that for some has become a point of pride, "Talk to the Hand" is a rallying cry for civility. When did "please" and "thank you" become passé? When you call a "customer service" number, why does the burden of deciphering the automatic switchboard fall to you (and where are the real people when you, the customer, need service)? Why do people behave as if public spaces are their own chip-strewn living rooms? Perhaps most important, how has it come to be that we are not allowed to object? Call someone out on rude or disrespectful behaviour and you are likely to get an "eff off" or worse. In a recent US survey, 79 per cent of adults said that lack of courtesy was a serious problem. For all of those fed up with antisocial behaviour and suffering in silence, realise that you are the majority!

By the bestselling author of Eats, Shoots & Leaves and Cat Out of Hell , a nail-biting tale of good versus evil involving one man, his dog and a group of 18th-century amateur scientific pioneers who just happen to be cats. When you are an inoffensive retired librarian with bitter personal experience of Evil Talking Cats, do you rescue a kitten from the cold on a December night? Do you follow up news items about cats digging in graveyards? Do you inquire into long-ago cats who voyaged around the world with Captain Cook? Well, yes. If you are Alec Charlesworth that is precisely what you do - with unexpected and terrifying consequences ...

Lynne Truss debuted in America as a guffaw-inducing grammarian, but her Britishaudience has known her for years as a critically acclaimed novelist and columnist. Her previous works are now available stateside in one volume, complete with a new preface. With One Lousy Free Packet of Seed, a raucous comedy of errors, follows the exploits of Osborne Lonsdale, who writes a weekly column called "Me and My Shed" for a floundering gardening magazine. When the publication is taken over by a gung-ho management team, Lonsdale must learn to cope with his new coworkers. In Tennyson's Gift and Going Loco, Truss turns a fiendishly clever eye to the literary world. Tennyson's Gift is an imaginative cocktail of Victorian seriousness and farce that re-imagines the world of the nineteenth-century English poet laureate, placing him in the midst of eccentric company that includes dodgy Charles Dodgson (aka Lewis Carroll). Going Loco features a critic trying to write a definitive account of the doppelg�nger in gothic fiction, amidst the chaos of her domestic life, including paranoia that her cleaning lady is taking over her life. Making the Cat Laugh is a riotous collection of columns about single life. Truss comments on dating, secondhand smoking, shopping, holidays, and people who ask, "How's the novel going?" All the while, she continues an eighteen-year quest to make her cat laugh. Reportedly, the feline remains unimpressed. A feast of wit, The Lynne Truss Treasury will delight fans of Eats, Shoots & Leaves. Praise for Lynne Truss and her work: With One Lousy Free Packet of Seed Lynne Truss has written a perfect comic novel at the first attempt a witty, ingenious romp. Daily Telegraph This book will become a perennial comic delight this Truss must never be stopped. Sue Limb Sex, violence, murder and psychoanalysis lurk in the garden shed - a breezy, rude, pleasurable alternative to cutting the grass. Obeserver Making the Cat Laugh A small masterpiece of comedy...with abundant close observation, the familiar is made fresh...A continual hoot. The Times A truly inventive comic writer ... You should not attempt to read Making the Cat Laugh while travelling on public transport The Irish Times [Lynne Truss is] a social humorist of sharp insight and startling candour. Scotland on Sunday Tennyson s Gift A comic novel of subtle distinction ... richly entertaining and at times very moving. The Times The perfect summer book. No deck-chair will be complete without it. The Independent Terrific...Tennyson's Gift is witty, surprising, oddly compassionate and hugely assured. The Sunday Times Going Loco Truss lets her imagination explode in what can only be described as a riddle devised while coming down of hallucinogens. Time Out A classic comic novel, unashamed, exuberant, fiendishly clever, and a joy to read. The Daily Telegraph Going Loco is wonderfully underplayed, unpredictable and unexpectedly sinister. Sunday Express Author Bio: Lynne Truss is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation, which has sold nearly one million copies and won Book of the Year at the British Book Awards. A novelist and journalist, she is also the author of numerous radio comedy dramas and for many years served as a television critic and sports columnist for The Times (London).