Robin Berman

Over the past few decades, the power structure intrinsic to the family unit has flip-flopped. Children have become the center of the universe, ruling the roost with some serious ramifications for their wellbeing. By trying to constantly please their children and make them happy, parents are actually making their children anxious. In attempting to veer from the strictness of their own upbringing, many parents have gone too far the other way, showering praise onto their children in the hope of increasing self-esteem, forgetting that self-control is a key to instilling self-confidence. Dr. Robin Berman’s extensive clinical experience has helped parents and children navigate the emotional and psychological minefields of family dynamics. In this essential parenting guide, she strikes the perfect balance of advice, anecdote, and research, explaining why parents need to be in charge and providing the tools they can use to give their children what they really need: limits, time, and more love. Ten Tips from Permission to Parent Parenting is not a democracy. Rules make kids feel safe. Don’t be emotionally bullied by your child. Emotionally wimpy parenting leads to emotionally fragile kids. A child who has too much power often becomes anxious. Catering to your child’s every whim can lead to a child who is self-centered and lacks empathy. Look long-term at a child who hasn’t faced consequences for behavior and, therefore, never learned accountability: Would you want to date this person as an adult? If you say, “If you do that one more time,” mean it. Consistent follow-through is essential for a child’s emotional safety and your sanity. Keep your eye on the long-term goal of raising a lovely child. Remember your mantra: Hate me now, thank me later. Talk less, give fewer choices, keep it simple. Less is clearly more. No is a complete sentence. No does not begin a negotiation. Reverse negotiate. The more they argue, the less they get. It works like a charm.