Jon Scieszka

A revisionist storyteller provides his mad, hilarious versions of children's favorite tales in this unique and riotous collection. A long time ago, people used to tell magical stories of wonder and enchantment. Those stories were called Fairy Tales. Those stories are not in this book. The stories in this book are Fairly Stupid Tales. I mean, what else would you call a story like "Goldilocks and the Three Elephants"? This girl walking through the woods smells Peanut Porridge Cooking. She decides to break into the Elephants' house, eat the porridge, sit in the chairs, and sleep in the beds. But when she gets in the house she can't climb up on Baby Elephant's chair because it's much too big. And she can't climb on Papa Elephant's chair because it's much much too big. So she goes home. The End. And if you don't think that's fairly stupid, you should read "Little Red Riding Shorts" or maybe "The Stinky Cheese Man." In fact, you should definitely go read the stories now, because the rest of this description just kind of goes on and on and doesn't really say anything. I stuck it here so it would fill up the page and make it look like I really knew what I was talking about. So stop now. I mean it. Quit reading this. Open the book. If you read this last sentence, it won't tell you anything. Signed, Jack (Narrator) Up the Hill Fairy Tale Forest 1992 Story List: - Chicken Licken - The Princess and the Bowling Ball - The Really Ugly Duckling - The Other Frog Prince - Little Red Running Shorts - Jack's Bean Problem (including Giant Story / Jack's Story) - Cinderummpelstiltskin (Or The Girl Who Really Blew It) - The Tortoise and the Hair - The Stinky Cheese Man SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: It has been determined that these tales are fairly stupid and probably dangerous to your health. Edition MSRP: $17⁹⁹ US (ISBN 0-670-84487-X)

Did you ever wake up to one of those days where everything is a problem? You have 10 things to do, but only 30 minutes until your bus leaves. Is there enough time? You have 3 shirts and 2 pairs of pants. Can you make 1 good outfit? Then you start to wonder: Why does everything have to be such a problem? Why do 2 apples always have to be added to 5 oranges? Why do 4 kids always have to divide 12 marbles? Why can't you just keep 10 cookies without someone taking 3 away? Why? Because you're the victim of a Math Curse. That's why. But don't despair. This is one girl's story of how that curse can be broken.

You thought you knew the story of the “The Three Little Pigs”… You thought wrong. In this hysterical and clever fracture fairy tale picture book that twists point of view and perspective, young readers will finally hear the other side of the story of “The Three Little Pigs.”

Did you know that our word Thursday comes from the Viking god Thor . . . as in Thor's Day? Neither did the Time Warp Trio. Did you know that if you say "Thursday" over and over again too close to a certain magic Book, you will get sucked back to a. d. 1000 when the Vikings lived? Neither did the Time Warp Trio. Joe, Sam, and Fred are in for a wild ride as they set sail with Leif Erickson, share in a Viking feast of whale blubber, and match wits with Grim Snake-in-the-Grass while trying to find the ever-elusive Book and get back home.

The Time Warp Trio find themselves in the middle of an adventure in prehistoric times, where cave art is a form of graffiti and "rock" music takes on a whole new meaning.

Freddi, Jodie, and Samantha have warped back to the 1930s to visit the famous pilot Amelia Earhart. But can they hang onto The Book long enough to solve the mystery of her final flight?

Everyone's favorite time-travelers are changing their style! The Time Warp Trio series now features a brand-new, eye-catching design, sure to appeal to longtime fans, and those new to Jon Scieszka's wacky brand of humor.

The Time Warp Trio is staying home for once, and Joe's got a perfect way to keep The Book from getting lost. But when the guys find themselves stuck on top of the half-finished Brooklyn Bridge, they realize that Joe's foolproof Book Tracker wasn't so foolproof after all. Now the guys have to make their way through 1877 Brooklyn and find The Book before they un-invent the lightbulb, the phonograph and&150oh, no!&150baseball!

You probably know that Leonardo da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa. Did you know that he also invented an early version of a helicopter and a tank, and that he planned to execute the Time Warp Trio for spying on his inventions? Sam's bright idea to look for the inventor of the Book takes the guys to 15th century Italy to meet up with Leonardo. But it's going to take at least three more bright ideas, two magic tricks, and one great invention to get them out of trouble and safely back home. If not, it could be a lifetime of Italian army toilet-cleaning detail for Joe, Sam, and Fred.

Everyone’s favorite time-travelers are changing their styles!  The Time Warp Trio series now features a brand-new, eye-catching design, sure to appeal to longtime fans, and those new to Jon Scieszka’s wacky brand of humor.

Friends Joe, Sam, and Fred--the Time Warp Trio--once again look into the mysterious book sent by Joe's magician uncle and are transported into a pirate adventure full of thrills and high comedy. Reprint. SLJ. AB.

Everyone’s favorite time-travelers are changing their styles!  The Time Warp Trio series now features a brand-new, eye-catching design, sure to appeal to longtime fans, and those new to Jon Scieszka’s wacky brand of humor.

Everyone’s favorite time-travelers are changing their styles!  The Time Warp Trio series now features a brand-new, eye-catching design, sure to appeal to longtime fans, and those new to Jon Scieszka’s wacky brand of humor.

Joe, Fred, and Sam find themselves whisked by The Book to the main ring-ball court in Chichin Itza, Mexico in 1000 A.D., where they must play for their lives against a Mayan High Priest who cheats.

Joe and his friends should have known that a book from Uncle Joe the Magnificent would not be ordinary. It leads them into another place and time where they become time travelers.

Scieszka (like seska) has exaggerated angular black shaded drawings by ilustrator Lane Smith. Magician Uncle Joe's birthday present entitled "The Book" swirls green mist and grants pal Fred's wish to "see knights and all that stuff for real". Off go Sir Joe the Magnificent, Sir Fred the Awesome, and Sir Sam the Unusual to King Arthur's castle. Opponens are the Black Knight, grossly smelly giant Bleob, and fire-breathing leather-winged iron-clawed green dragon Smaug.

After the Princess kissed the frog, he turned into a handsome prince and they lived happily ever after... or did they? The Princess can't stand the Prince's froggy habits—the way he hops around on the furniture, or sneaks off to the lily pond. The Prince is unhappy, too, and decides that it would be best if he were changed back to a frog. But finding a witch who will do the job is harder than he expects. They all seem to have other spells in mind...

Everyone’s favorite time-travelers are changing their styles!  The Time Warp Trio series now features a brand-new, eye-catching design, sure to appeal to longtime fans, and those new to Jon Scieszka’s wacky brand of humor.

Everyone’s favorite time-travelers are changing their styles!  The Time Warp Trio series now features a brand-new, eye-catching design, sure to appeal to longtime fans, and those new to Jon Scieszka’s wacky brand of humor.