Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory
Caitlin Doughty
A young mortician goes behind the scenes, unafraid of the gruesome (and fascinating) details of her curious profession. Most people want to avoid thinking about death, but Caitlin Doughty—a twenty-something with a degree in medieval history and a flair for the macabre—took a job at a crematory, turning morbid curiosity into her life’s work. Thrown into a profession of gallows humor and vivid characters (both living and very dead), Doughty learned to navigate the secretive culture of those who care for the deceased. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes tells an unusual coming-of-age story full of bizarre encounters and unforgettable scenes. Caring for dead bodies of every color, shape, and affliction, Doughty soon becomes an intrepid explorer in the world of the dead. She describes how she swept ashes from the machines (and sometimes onto her clothes) and reveals the strange history of cremation and undertaking, marveling at bizarre and wonderful funeral practices from different cultures. Her eye-opening, candid, and often hilarious story is like going on a journey with your bravest friend to the cemetery at midnight. She demystifies death, leading us behind the black curtain of her unique profession. And she answers questions you didn’t know you had: Can you catch a disease from a corpse? How many dead bodies can you fit in a Dodge van? What exactly does a flaming skull look like? Honest and heartfelt, self-deprecating and ironic, Doughty's engaging style makes this otherwise taboo topic both approachable and engrossing. Now a licensed mortician with an alternative funeral practice, Doughty argues that our fear of dying warps our culture and society, and she calls for better ways of dealing with death (and our dead).
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I loved this relaxed perspective on death and the death industry. Very eye opening and comforting actually
0-Amusing anecdotes put just next to intense/gross details--though I was rarely squicked out or too disgusted. It didn't feel like they were for shock value but as jumping off points open discussions
-My take away thoughts: embalming is not natural and is expensive and not great for the environment. We (especially in America) have weird fears/prejudices against death but also the process and dead bodies--we're maybe missing some historical/cultural practices to help in this area
- I enjoyed the listening experience, but even now ~10 days later I'm not sure I'm remembering the big messages? Not sure if that's me and my memory or if the writing could have been stronger/harder hitting to hammer her points home...
Liked that it was narrated by the author, she did a decent job
Nonfiction and memoir discussing the death industry and some amusing anecdotes; final messages are about people distancing themselves from death, and we shouldn't be so anti-death, and embalming isn't the way...
0I used to love watching Doughty’s Ask A Mortician series on YouTube when I was in high school, but I’d just never gotten around to reading her book. This book had a profound effect on me. I wasn’t aware that it was equal parts memoir and exploration of the American funeral industry. I loved this framing though! I loved following along Doughty’s journey confronting and accepting her own mortality, because it mirrored so closely my journey reading the book.
Like Doughty, I had a pretty crippling fear of death as a child. I was terrified to sleepover at friend’s houses because I was convinced my parents would die if I wasn’t home. I remember counting down the hours at school until I got to go home and reassure myself that my parents were, in fact, alive. It was so inspiring to know that Doughty, who seems as comfortable with death as I can imagine is possible, started this scared too. It made me hopeful that I could grow equally comfortable. And as I followed along with Doughty’s story, I did too!
This book really helped me contemplate my own mortality and what exactly I want my death to look like, specifically what I want to happen to my body. My views are very similar to Doughty’s. Her ideas around giving her body back to animals really resonated with me. I love the idea of a green burial. I also loved her idea of our atoms, the things that compose us, as being on loan from the universe, given to us when we are born and meant to be returned when we die. That thought brought me a lot of peace.
I think the only notion in this book that I disagreed with was the idea that death is what gives life its meaning. Maybe I can’t comprehend the length of an immortal life, but it’s hard to imagine my lust for life ever fading even if I lived for a thousand years. I love being alive so much!
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