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On a hot day in Bethlehem, a 12-year-old Palestinian-American girl is yelled at by a group of men outside the Church of the Nativity. She has exposed her legs in a biblical city, an act they deem forbidden, and their judgement will echo on through her adolescence. When our narrator finally admits to her mother that she is queer, her mother's response only intensifies a sense of shame: "You exist too much," she tells her daughter. Told in vignettes that flash between the U.S. and the Middle East--from New York to Jordan, Lebanon, and Palestine--Zaina Arafat's debut novel traces her protagonist's progress from blushing teen to sought-after DJ and aspiring writer. In Brooklyn, she moves into an apartment with her first serious girlfriend and tries to content herself with their comfortable relationship. But soon her longings, so closely hidden during her teenage years, explode out into reckless romantic encounters and obsessions with other people. Her desire to thwart her own destructive impulses will eventually lead her to The Ledge, an unconventional treatment center that identifies her affliction as "love addiction." In this strange, enclosed society she will start to consider the unnerving similarities between her own internal traumas and divisions and those of the places that have formed her. Opening up the fantasies and desires of one young woman caught between cultural, religious, and sexual identities, You Exist Too Much is a captivating story charting two of our most intense longings: for love, and a place to call home.
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This book left me wanting more! I believe the author has written a very important story that I personally can relate to and don’t feel I have seen enough of in literature. However, I do see many places the author can grow.
A bi-sexual love addict is a character that I love to read about and has experiences I relate to that I haven’t read in a novel before.
The moments where the author writes about Palestine and being split between two places / cultures were interesting and informative but I’m not sure how the connection between this and her love addiction was meant to come together.
I felt like there were elements of the story that I wanted to hear more about or see more of the relationship between the lead to other people - but maybe in some ways that emptiness or incompleteness feeds into the characters main conflict with herself and what she accepts as “love”. A book the reads very quickly and leaves a this reader feeling a little emptier than she’d like.
Overall tho, I did enjoy this book and felt that the author was onto something special.