This novel is about a woman called Martha. She knows there is something wrong with her but she doesn't know what it is. Her husband Patrick thinks she is fine. He says everyone has something, the thing is just to keep going. Martha told Patrick before they got married that she didn't want to have children. He said he didn't mind either way because he has loved her since he was fourteen and making her happy is all that matters, although he does not seem able to do it. By the time Martha finds out what is wrong, it doesn't really matter anymore. It is too late to get the only thing she has ever wanted. Or maybe it will turn out that you can stop loving someone and start again from nothing - if you can find something else to want.
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Reminded me of [b:Goodbye, Vitamin|27746288|Goodbye, Vitamin|Rachel Khong|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1509043032l/27746288._SX50_.jpg|47727087]. The way this was written was very much like a string of journal entries, but I think it worked.
03.5/3.75 stars
Authentic and raw representation of mental illness, very funny at parts, but also a bit too long. Also the tense/pov would randomly change which was quite confusing to me... sometimes first person, sometimes second.
"Because when suffering is unavoidable, the only thing one gets to choose is the backdrop. Crying one's eyes out beside the Seine is vastly better than crying one's eyes out while traipsing around Hammersmith."
"Everything is broken and messed up and completely fine. That is what life is. It's only the ratios that change. Usually on their own. As soon as you think that's it, it's going to be like this forever, they change again."
"Perhaps you can tell me what it feels like when you suddenly find yourself in the trenches, as it were." "It's like going to the cinema when it's light and when you come out you're shocked because you didn't expect it to be dark, but it is... It's like when you go down into the Tube and the sky is blue, and when you come out, it's pouring with rain...Mainly, it's like weather. Even if you see it coming, you can't do anything about it. It's going to come either way."
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