Kate Murphy

The Observerin, Stylistin ja Waterstonesin valinta vuoden 2020 parhaaksi tietokirjaksi. Oletko yrittänyt keskustella älylaitteen tuijottajan tai oman mielipiteensä toitottajan kanssa? Entä osaatko itse kuunnella? Kannattaisi osata, sillä kuunteleminen on todellinen supertaito. Nykyaika on täynnä puhetta, mutta samalla olemme kadottamassa kuuntelemisen taidon. Ilman toisen ihmisen aitoa kuuntelemista menetämme ymmärrystä, yhteyttä ja mahdollisuuksia. Jos osaisimme kunnolla kuunnella, asiat etenisivät sujuvammin ja voisimme itsekin paremmin. Palkitun yhdysvaltalaisjournalistin Kate Murphyn viihdyttävä, esimerkein ja tarinoin varustettu kirja kertoo, miksi olemme menettämässä kuuntelemisen taidon, mitä siitä pahimmillaan seuraa, mistä syystä kuunteleminen on tärkeää myös hyvinvoinnin kannalta ja mitä voimme tehdä oppiaksemme paremmiksi kuuntelijoiksi. Kate Murphy on vapaa toimittaja, joka kirjoitttaa säännöllisesti muun muassa The New York Timesiin. Hänen kirjoittamansa artikkeli kuuntelemisen katoavasta taidosta oli lehden luetuimpia juttuja vuonna 2019.

Lo que más anhelamos los seres humanos es comprender y ser entendidos, No me estás escuchando nos enseña cómo. En el trabajo, en redes sociales, en nuestra vida privada creamos relatos y trasmitimos miles de mensajes. Intentamos convencer, explicar, destacar siendo los relatores porque valoramos más lo que proyectamos que lo que absorbemos. Sin embargo... No estamos escuchando y nadie nos está escuchando. Vivimos en un mundo multitarea, en el que fijar nuestra atención es casi una misión imposible, pero solo escuchando bien podemos conectar con los demás y adquirir una capacidad crítica de nuestros pensamientos y argumentos. Escuchar bien puede transformar nuestras relaciones personales y laborales, mejorar nuestro autoconocimiento y aumentar nuestra creatividad y empatía. «En este libro, se descubrirá -como lo hice yo- que escuchar es más que oír lo que dice la gente. También es prestar atención a cómo lo dice, qué hace al decirlo, en qué contexto lo dice y qué efectos tiene en nosotros. No se trata simplemente de guardar silencio mientras otro perora. Al contrario. En buena parte, escuchar tiene que ver con nuestra reacción: el grado en que ayudamos al otro a expresar sus ideas con claridad y, entretanto, permitimos que cristalicen las nuestras. Si se hace bien y reflexivamente, escuchar puede cambiar nuestra comprensión de la gente y el mundo que nos rodean, lo que sin duda enriquece y realza nuestra experiencia y existencia. De ese modo, se adquiere sabiduría y se crean relaciones importantes».

Who listens to you? New York Times contributor Kate Murphy asked people on five continents this question, and the response was typically a long, awkward pause. People struggled to come up with someone, anyone, who truly listened to them without glazing over, glancing down at a phone, or jumping in to offer an opinion. Many admitted that they, themselves, weren’t very good listeners, and most couldn’t even describe what it meant to be a good listener. Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it’s making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, Murphy wanted to know how we got here. In this illuminating and often humorous deep dive, Murphy explains why we’re not listening, what it’s doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there (including a CIA agent, focus-group moderator, bartender, radio producer, and top furniture salesman). While listening is often regarded as talking’s meek counterpart, Murphy discovered it’s actually the more powerful position in communication. We learn when we listen. It’s how we connect, cooperate, empathize, and fall in love. Listening is something we do or don’t do every day. While we might take listening for granted, how well we listen, to whom, and under what circumstances determines who we are and the paths we take in life. Equal parts cultural observation, scientific exploration, and rousing call to action that’s full of practical advice, You’re Not Listening is to listening what Susan Cain’s Quiet was to introversion. It’s time to stop talking and start listening.

Who listens to you? New York Times contributor Kate Murphy asked people on five continents this question, and the response was typically a long, awkward pause. People struggled to come up with someone, anyone, who truly listened to them without glazing over, glancing down at a phone, or jumping in to offer an opinion. Many admitted that they, themselves, weren’t very good listeners, and most couldn’t even describe what it meant to be a good listener. Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it’s making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, Murphy wanted to know how we got here. In this illuminating and often humorous deep dive, Murphy explains why we’re not listening, what it’s doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there (including a CIA agent, focus-group moderator, bartender, radio producer, and top furniture salesman). While listening is often regarded as talking’s meek counterpart, Murphy discovered it’s actually the more powerful position in communication. We learn when we listen. It’s how we connect, cooperate, empathize, and fall in love. Listening is something we do or don’t do every day. While we might take listening for granted, how well we listen, to whom, and under what circumstances determines who we are and the paths we take in life. Equal parts cultural observation, scientific exploration, and rousing call to action that’s full of practical advice, You’re Not Listening is to listening what Susan Cain’s Quiet was to introversion. It’s time to stop talking and start listening.