Men Have Called Her Crazy
Anna Marie Tendler
A powerful memoir that reckons with mental health as well as the insidious ways men impact the lives of women. In early 2021, popular artist Anna Marie Tendler checked herself into a psychiatric hospital following a year of crippling anxiety, depression and self-harm. Over two weeks, she underwent myriad psychological tests, participated in numerous therapy sessions, connected with fellow patients and experienced profound breakthroughs, such as when a doctor noted, “There is a you inside that feels invisible to those looking at you from the outside.” In Men Have Called Her Crazy, Tendler recounts her hospital experience as well as pivotal moments in her life that preceded and followed. As the title suggests, many of these moments are impacted by men: unrequited love in high school; the twenty-eight-year-old she lost her virginity to when she was sixteen; the frustrations and absurdities of dating in her mid-thirties; and her decision to freeze her eggs as all her friends were starting families. This stunning literary self-portrait examines the unreasonable expectations and pressures women face in the 21st century. Yet overwhelming and despairing as that can feel, Tendler ultimately offers a message hope. Early in her stay in the hospital, she says, “My wish for myself is that one day I’ll reach a place where I can face hardship without trying to destroy myself.” By the end of the book, she fulfills that wish.
No posts yet
Kick off the convo with a theory, question, musing, or update
Your rating:
This was the first memoir I’ve ever read by choice, and I really truly loved it. Anna has a powerful voice and reading how she recounts the experiences and relationships that have formed her was eye-opening. If you’re picking up her book for a drama-filled account of her divorce, you’ve come to the wrong place. It’s mentioned in only general terms, and the rest of her story is FAR more impactful. She’d be annoyed to know that people sought out her book for dirt on her ex-husband and are basing their interest in her off her relation to a man.
That said, major content warnings for mental illness, the discussion of power imbalance in relationships, and misogyny.
Anna was honest but kind in her descriptions of her hospital stay and those around her. I loved how she dug into her admiration of and love for the girls she got to know. The recounting of her past to her healthcare providers created a good structure for the “flashback” type chapters.
In addition to her hospital stay, most of the book focuses on the men in Anna’s life and how their actions, combined with societal pressures, impacted her self-esteem and overall psyche. She doesn’t pull punches in describing what happens—not in romantic relationships, friendships, or when discussing her relationship with herself. Her inner monologue was, at times, really hard to read. But the growth seen from her earlier descriptions to the progress she’d made by the end of the book was astounding.
While Anna isn’t afraid to call out her own flaws or shortcomings, I did sometimes feel that her points were a tad narrow-minded. That’s not to say I disagree with her, but I did find some of her views to err on the extreme. However, I can understand why due to her experiences and she was good at recognizing her bias in these passages.
I found a lot of her experience with mental health relatable and felt very seen when she discussed anxiety, depression, and general hopelessness. The book focuses *heavily* on mental illness (anxiety, depression, self harm, disordered eating, suicidal ideation, grief, anger, trauma) and the patriarchy (questionable but consensual age gaps in relationships, breakups, arguments, divorce, etc). However Anna’s voice was both sincere and funny throughout—there were many moments where I laughed out loud! Can’t wait to get my signed copy and see Anna on her tour!❤️
This was a real treat! Thank you so much to Simon & Schuster and Netgalley for the eARC in exchange for my honest review.
0 0