An unforgettable journey from seventh-grade dropout to celebrated professor Georgiann Davis’ family is white, but not the right kind of white. They’re five star white trash. They borrowed money and tried to buy class. In this upside-down and queer response to JD Vance's Hillbilly Elegy, Davis introduces readers to the relatives who shaped her turbulent the Greek grandparents who guided her, the father who understood cars better than children, and the brother whose violence went unchecked in their home. Looming over them all was Davis’ larger-than-life mother, who displayed her love through gifts they couldn’t afford, empowering Davis with life lessons even as she downplayed their financial struggles. It took years to uncover the shocking medical secrets that her mother had kept from her —secrets that upended everything she thought she knew about gender and the human body.Davis guides us through her unusual life, from running the family’s ice cream business to selling weed in her “monkey shit green” Dodge Neon. As she chronicles her journey from seventh-grade dropout to sociology professor, she reveals how whiteness colored her family’s struggles. She connects her personal experiences of medical abuse, fatphobia, and fear of the intersex body with incisive critiques of white supremacy, the opioid crisis, and gendered oppression. Faced with unimaginable setbacks—identity theft, medical struggles, and family turmoil—Davis relentlessly pursued education. It was this quest that transformed her life, giving her the tools to tell her own story. The result is a deeply moving memoir which complicates our understanding of upward mobility and familial love.