3.5/5
The prose in this book is top-tier. "How many of his small gestures and postures in the present were embodied echoes of the past, repetitions just beneath the threshold of consciousness? What would happen to the past if you brought those involuntary muscle memories under your control and edited them, edited them out?" (35) - like, wow!!
The passages flowed well, I was interested in what every character had to say, even if it was to describe intense high school debate tournament (normally, not my thing) or therapeutic theory or marital affairs. Jane was my favorite character - I couldn't wait to read her sections always. Lerner is obviously very talented - each character felt distinct and had their own, very interesting voice. I genuinely enjoyed reading this, and I'm glad I did - I probably would have never picked it up if it weren't for my book club. And now I know the joys of Ben Lerner's beautiful prose.
I knocked a couple of stars because while I really liked reading this, the narrative didn't make complete sense to me. I didn't understand the relevance of Darren - he was such a side character throughout the whole book, yet his interludes are ominous and suggest that he is someone that will dominate the plot and ending. However, at the end, maybe only a few lines are devoted to his character conclusion? I didn't feel like that deserved all of the interludes he got and how much of the reader's attention was supposed to be given to him.
I didn't like the ending section either - seeing Adam (well, pseudo-Ben Lerner) in the present day New York, fighting family separations, honestly felt odd given the rest of the book. I liked when he went back to Topeka and reflected on all of the versions of himself and how much he's changed/not changed. I REALLY loved the playground scene as well because seeing him in this new father role, fighting against masculinity and thinking of his daughters felt fitting, given that most of the book grapples with feminism and white masculinity. But then, choosing to end the book with a protest against the family separations felt rushed, awkward, and almost inappropriate. I didn't like how he tried to link the experience back to public speaking/debate. It felt like he was trying to give a present-day relevance to his character in completely the wrong setting.
Overall, I enjoyed this book! And I'll probably seek out Ben Lerner's writing in the future.

3.5 stars. This book started out strong with an arresting opening. It soon included too many themes to keep a sharp focus (a form of spreading as it were). By the end, it felt like the novel was trying to fit as much as possible into the last few pages that I found it lost its rhythm. That said, there’s some brilliant moments in this book and it includes some important takedowns of toxic masculinity, white fragility, living in a Trumpian era, and what it means to be a man.