the turtle part will live rent free in my brain forever and has thoroughly disturbed the fuck out of me lol. otherwise this book is quite hilarious with how over the top horrible and unlikeable the main character is and I love me an unlikeable main character (even though it isn't entirely his fault? but whatever he still sucks 🤷🏼‍♀️) I'm sort of halfway between hating and being indifferent towards the twist/explanation bit but it was at least surprising so that's good I suppose. but yeah be wary about the horrific animal cruelty/death part because that shit was awful.  RIP sweet prince turtle whose name I have forgotten. you will be missed 💘☠️🐢☠️💘