The 500 year wait is over! King Henry VIII has at long last -- after six wives and countless mistresses -- written his definitive guide to love and relationships. Here, in words even a bloody peasant can comprehend (probably), is the last book anyone shall ever require on a range of subject including what women want (exactly four things), how a lady can successfully seduce a man (easy), how a man can woo a lady love (a bit harder, especially if you're not the tyrant monarch of an island nation who has smoking-hot dance moves), how to get the rumptity-pumpity you deserve in the bedchamber, the avoidance of vile whores, your best options when a lover who is super hot becomes super not, what to do when life gives you lemons AND Anne Boleyn, and knowing when beheading is right for you. Filled with moving, insightful and occasionally traumatising examples from his own legendary love life, Henry VIII will take you on an unforgettable journey into unfathomable sexiness.