Sprinkled (Lacey Luzzi Mafia Mysteries, #1)
Gina LaManna
LACEY LUZZI RESUME ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CURRENT: MOBSTER (in training) 2 YEARS: LAUNDROMAT WENCH TOO MANY YEARS: MANAGER AT STRIP CLUB 1 NIGHT: MISERABLY FAILED STRIPPER 8TH GRADE – SPELLING BEE CHAMPION ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lacey Luzzi’s rollercoaster of a life has been filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. She just never expected the lows to be so… sparkly. After falling on her face during an attempt to follow in her recently-deceased mother’s stripper-boots, Lacey realizes she’s not cut out for life on stage. She sets out on a year-long investigation to find her true family, never expecting she’ll find it with a capital “F.” With a rumbling stomach, a need for money (check engine lights don’t fix themselves!), and a conscience that operates at 78% on a good day, Lacey is sucked into a whirlwind of Family secrets, hard-as-cement cookies, and mysterious, sexy men who unfortunately shoot guns, sometimes aimed at her face. The long-lost-granddaughter of Carlos Luzzi, the Godfather of the Italian Mafia, Lacey accepts her first assignment for the mob: finding fifteen million dollars of ‘the good stuff.’ Even after she enlists the help of her mouthy best-friend and her cousin, a technical genius and social disaster, she finds that going toe-to-toe with the rival Russian mob is more dangerous than expected. No one chooses their Family, but Lacey Luzzi will be lucky if she can survive hers. ** ** Lacey Luzzi: Sprinkled, is a full-length, laugh-out-loud, humorous cozy mystery with a strong female protagonist in the spirit of Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum, albeit one working for the wrong side of the law…
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0I found this author through an ad on Facebook. I read the first two books in her Magic & Mixology Mystery series, which was touted as a cross between Stephanie Plum and Harry Potter. (It's not but that's a different review.) I didn't hate them so I decided to take a chance on her other books. The premise of this story seemed to have promise, I admit to being a bit of a sucker for the Stephanie Plum-ish type heroine, and the entire series is on Kindle Unlimited (the main selling point), so I gave it a try.
I actually got 67% through the book before I gave it up. Driving a crappy car, having a crappy job you are completely inept at, and liking doughnuts does not make one Stephanie Plum. Or even a very pale imitation in this case. The book tries very hard to be funny. It fails. There are some funny moments but I'm hard pressed right now to remember what they were.
The main character, Lacey, isn't particularly likeable; the backstory is weird and somewhat confusing at times. Her mom runs away from her family so that her daughter won't grow up around the Mafia but she's a stripper. So yeah, that's an interesting life choice. After the mom dies, Lacey tracks down her mob-boss grandpa and goes to work for him. And somehow her dead mom's nipple tassles end up hanging in the hallway of her grandparent's home.
As for the actual storyline... Every hot guy Lacey meets wants to date her and she lives with her roommate/cousin in a crappy apartment that neither of them ever clean. Throw in some Russians, a white panel van, a yellow sweatshirt, a spray painted front step, and a drunken batch of chocolate chip cookies, and basically that's the story. Wait, did that not make sense? Good, that's exactly how the book feels so I described it correctly.
I kept reading thinking that it would get better and because I felt like I wanted to know who did it. But then I realized two things: 1. It wasn't going to get better, and 2. I didn't care who did it. I didn't pay for the book (thank you, sweet baby Jesus in the manger) but I kind of feel like I deserve a refund anyway.
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