EDDIE: Cancel your dinky little roomette on the train. I’m booking us two of the big bedroom suites. BIRDIE: I’ll cancel it AFTER you’ve booked the other sleeper rooms. And reimburse you. EDDIE: Don’t worry about it. Just cancel your tickets. I got this. Round trip. I’m on the Amtrak website right now. BIRDIE: You don’t have to leave NYC when I do! You’ll hardly be able to spend any time with your Instagram girlfriend that you've never met! EDDIE: It’s fine. She’ll be fine with it. Cancel your tickets. BIRDIE: You aren’t going to stop texting me until I’ve canceled them, are you? EDDIE: Damn right I’m not. Just do it. You can thank me later. *** EDDIE: Um. Did you cancel your tickets? BIRDIE: Yes, Edward. I canceled them. EDDIE: Okay, because it turns out they only had one Family Bedroom from LA to Chicago. But the good news is I booked it for us. It’s the biggest room they had. The bad news is I booked it for us. And it’s the only sleeper room they have left now. EDDIE: In related news, there was also only one room left from Chicago to New York. EDDIE: Hands up if you’re excited! *man raising hand emoji* BIRDIE: I am so mad at you right now. *** BIRDIE: I’ve compiled a list of ground rules re shared train bedroom. Check your email, please read carefully, and refer to it again on the ninth of February. Thank you. EDDIE: *nerd face emoji* Received. I have some notes.