Protactinium-231 is a body-snatching alien whose crew have burned through the galaxy conquering planet after planet—or at least, they’ve been trying. They haven’t been very successful. While attempting to conquer Canada (of all places), Protactinium gets on the wrong side of a god, who strips him of his alien body, transforms him into the weedy, useless Prince Proculo, and sends him to rule over a fantasy kingdom. With no tentacles, no physical prowess, and no allies, Proculo is forced to put aside his plans for world domination and join the battle between humans and half-human monsters that is ravaging his new home. After capturing the half-human, half-spider Tantalus, Protactinium falls desperately in love with his bristling muscles and sharp fangs. And Tantalus is an eager ally in Protactinium’s mission to conquer the world. Together, they will be an unstoppable force—against new enemies and old friends alike.