This book is so interesting so far , the pace is so jarring between Leah’s shorter chapters revealing so little so slowly about what has happened to her, while time skips ahead so quickly in Miri’s chapters with seemingly no progress to improve the situation they find themselves in. Both perspectives are gripping and claustrophobic but certainly in very different ways. I’m finding Miri’s more full of dread than Leah’s, despite how much more frightening Leah’s situation would be in reality, because Miri’s captures so well this very specific experience of watching a loved one struggling in the grip of serious mental illness and feeling unable to help them. There are things she could do, like forcing her to go to a hospital, but any of those options involve ignoring her autonomy and going against her wishes and that is such a scary and overwhelming line to judge when to cross. It feels frustrating to feel like a clear solution would be for Miri to just talk to her, but there is nothing like trying to have a conversation with someone who is incapable of having it, for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you and that you can’t fix. This horrible feeling like rejection, but it isn’t rejection because they’re not hearing you and they’re not choosing this, and you know it is worse for them than it is for you. Julia Armfield has captured that feeling of isolation and pressure perfectly and it’s so full of grief and I just hope we get to the hope eventually 🥲