I was really excited when I saw this in the bookstore because I was immediately reminded of being in grade school reading those "Choose Your Own Adventure" Goosebumps books. The fact that I could read one of those books targeted for adults was such an appealing thought.

But this book just didn't do it for me.

For starters, some of the decisions still forced you to do things that didn't make any sense, or things you wouldn't want to do. Like, why am I doing a bunch of drugs and drinking just because I decided to go straight home? Going home is honestly the most logical option for you to make, at least at first, but then you don't have a say in what is considered essentials (because frozen pizza and beer isn't, let's be real, especially if you drink all the beer upon returning home), and you also don't have a choice of whether you want to ignore the gunshots and not open your apartment door. You're also not given a choice between staying home or going to Staten Island if you answer your mother's phone call. All because your mother offered you a check for $500? It's the fucking apocaplyse, you don't need a check for $500, and the decisions the character made that you didn't have a choice in pissed me off to the point where this wasn't that enjoyable.

Another big thing that took me out of the book and made it less enjoyable was the absurdity of some of the events that took place. An average, every day office employee CAN-ABSOLUTELY-NOT swim to the Statue of Liberty. And in 2 hours? And after running for God-knows-how-long across Manhattan? Fucking please. It's probably a dumb thing to get so bent out of the shape over, but even the small things matter, especially in a book like this where you're supposed to be able to make the major decisions. I feel like deciding to swim across an expanse of water that has killed countless people is a major decision I should have had a choice in. 

I tried reading as many paths and endings as I could, but it got way too dumb after a time. The character is beyond stupid, no matter what decision you as the reader make. And the humor was so forced it wasn't funny. It wouldn't be funny even if you tilted your head and squinted. Everything just got so repetitive after a while, too. Doing drugs, drinking, hurting yourself - Oh look, the military saves the day. And then you have those endings that aren't even endings. You just get flirted with and then it's over. That's not and ending.

All this to say - I'm extremely disappointed that I wasted money on this.