Made You Up

It's really hard to describe this book (note all of the genres I shelved it under; "thriller" is kind of a stretch but it's definitely not out of the question). But I'm so glad I gave it a chance.

Our main character, Alex, suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. At a young age, she suffered a delusion involving a young boy with striking blue eyes. Fast forward about ten years, and--following an episode--Alex transfers to a fancy school, only to discover that the boy from her past is very real. His name is Miles, and he's kind of an asshole and has almost as many issues as Alex. A great way to start a relationship, right?

(The romance in this book is fantastic, by the way. You know it's happening, but it's a slow burn. Zappia resists the urge to force her characters into unnatural love declarations or sweeping gestures, and I admire the hell out of that.)

There are so many things going on in "Made You Up", between Alex's delusions and her relationship with Miles and his problems and the conspiracy--or is it?--going on at her school. Frankly, halfway through the book I was like, "Wait. Wait. This is too much. I should hate this."

But I didn't.

Zappia is a good writer. Alex has a defined voice and Miles--along with several side characters--is quite an original. Both of them are messed up, but not in the way you usually see in YA. Miles is not a wish-fulfillment wounded bad boy. His antics have consequences. He is not always good for Alex, and this is acknowledged. He does a lot of shitty stuff, and nobody excuses his actions.

Alex could have easily been botched. But though half of her experiences aren't real, she's very much a realistic, well-rounded character. I felt for her, but I didn't pity her. She made the kind of mistakes I think a teenage girl would make, with or without mental illness. Her illness doesn't define her; it's a part of who she is. At the same time, it causes problems that aren't going to be swept away by pills and doctor's visits.

The authority figures in this book are really well-handled. Some of them are misunderstood; some of them are assholes; some of them are assholes with good points. But I liked that Zappia made it clear that, due to her illness, Alex literally couldn't know what was the right thing for her sometimes. It wasn't her fault; it was a fact of life.

"Made You Up" has so many twists and turns, several of which I didn't predict. But at its heart is the relationship between Miles and Alex, and again, that is beautifully done. It's one of the best YA romances I've read in a long time.

I highly recommend "Made You Up". It's truly different and original, and handles mental illness much better than I expected it to. I really can't say it's anything like what I've read before--and that's high praise.

Why? Why? Why do books have to hurt so much? Especially this one. It felt like a punch to the gut. What took me so long to read it? It had been sitting on my shelf since August…. Don’t wait like me. Pick up this book immediately and read it. It’s is so good. It’s eye opening and heart breaking and funny and everything in between. Made You Up is a book that is rightly getting the appreciation it deserves. Alex(andra) Ridgemont is a schizophrenic and tries to hide it. Miles Richter is the kid who intimidates others…somehow, being a stick and wicked smart. Tucker Beaumont is the goofy, somewhat nerdy best friend. Everyone has secrets, and a story backing them into high school, some laugh out loud funny and others very depressing. Alex got diagnosed as a child—seven, I believe—after claiming she and a boy she named Blue Eyes “freed the lobsters” at the supermarket. As you can probably already guess, it didn’t happen. She goes through life up until high school doubting Blue Eyes was even real, and no has to question everything. Am I really seeing that? Does someone else see that too? Luckily her picture collection helps that. Alex is given a tough life, and it only gets tougher when she transfers schools senior year.

Everything gets turned on her head when she sees someone who may be Blue Eyes—care to guess?—and she’s left to figure out it isn’t real or not. The book is just a continuation of her story of trying to deal with her illness and whether Blue Eyes is there, in person, and how it all pans out and lands her in a difficult, soul-crushing situation. The progression of Alex’s story is perfectly spaced out and includes all the parts of a normal teenager’s life (don’t ask me what they are because I may be a teenager, but I am not normal) and adding this other component that only worsens it. First love, applying colleges, arguing with mom, all that good stuff.

The writing is perfect; it truly puts you in Alex’s head and gets you living her life. You feel for her each time something new is throw at her with whiplashing speed. It’s mature, but also the has the angst-y teenager tone you’d expect. Occasionally, you’ll get conversations taking place between Alex and a Magic Eight Ball, which are perfect. Like, look at this perfect gem, right off the bat:

Was that Blue Eyes?

I grabbed the Magic 8 Ball and rubbed the scuff mark as I looked down into its round window.

Better not tell you now.

Evasive little bitch.

You can’t get much better than that. It’s just the perfect blend of young and old, serious and comedic. The plot, as I mentioned, is spot on. Every changing and golden. Couldn’t be better. The characters, as per usual with me, were my favorite. Each one had quirks, and a devious little mind. Like, so many pranks are pulled, planned by different people and each is coo in its’ own way. You often go in between loving and hating characters, but you usually end up loving the one who deserve it (Miles….) and hating those who deserve the wrath (Celia). Each one is different in his or her own way, making them out-of-this-world-unique. I was in love. Characterization is my thing. No joke. That is always what I notice when reading, and I will always play up those with good skills in that area. You go, Zappia! You fall in love with Alex instantly from Chapter One where she goes from:

Sometimes I think people take reality for granted.

To:

I didn’t have the luxury of taking reality for granted. And I wouldn’t say I hated people who did, because that’s just about everyone. I didn’t hate them. They didn’t live in my world.

But that never stopped me from wishing I lived in theirs.

Gold stars all around. And beyond the perfect skills used in the writing, it also tackles something many are against openly discussing: mental illness. People are afraid to talk about, and that’s why survivors of mental illness don’t get the help they need. It’s is never treated properly. Zappia is making readers aware that some people do suffer from schizophrenia, and that they aren’t as luck y as others. She’s sparking an initiative more people should be taking. I don’t know about you, but I was in love with that. I support those who are with mental illness, and try to fight the surrounding stigma. I hope you will join me in this quest, as Zappia and many other authors have. Just give it some thought.

Read the book. It won’t hurt to do so. Only for a few days, that is. The ending is painful, but so good, so worth it. I do not regret binge-reading this. Everything is star worthy, and I think more people need to be aware of the world around them. Please enjoy this and fall in love with Alex and Milesie as I did, and the alternate version of the world we all suffer through. Because as Tucker says in the end,

“We’re survivors. So now let’s live.”

Thanks for acting like you’re paying attention.

All quotes pulled from the novel, and included bonus content.

Carpe diem.

I absolutely, absolutely love this book! It is sweet, and snarky, and mind-bendy. The characters are awesome, especially Alex and Miles with their snark!