2.5 stars
OVERALL: This YA thriller was actually more New Adult (mature content) and was not thrilling to me, as I predicted every step of the way. But it did have those creep factors of the cult leader that can pull everyone under his thumb, that was done well.
Content warnings: cults, car accident, hospitalization, hallucinations, death, grief, almost miscarriage, childbirth, surprise pregnancy, branding, physical abuse, drowning


This book was a book club book for me, and I thought it was pretty middle of the road. I didn't find it particularly thrilling--I actually found it extremely predictable, which I think eliminated the chances of me being thrilled. To me, it does not seem like a YA book, closer to New Adult age group.

There's a lot of trauma and angst in this book: Lo is the main character, her portions are told in first person, and she is 19 for the bulk of this book (in the present day time line). Lo has lost contact with her older sister, a couple years previously, and she is working toward trying to connect with Bea throughout this whole story, and find out more about this group of people that Bea belongs to. Lo was in a terrible car accident at age 13, she had a long and brutal recovery, and this time of trauma has left a huge impact on Lo: she is a hard character to like, maybe, because she is constantly full of negative emotions and has no friends or sources of optimism or happiness in her life.
I found it hard to connect with Lo, and also her reactions to what is going on around her were basically the only thing I found unpredictable in this book. She was constantly trembling or lashing out when I would have been reacting differently.

The actual plot of this book was very predictable to me, I wasn't surprised at any step of the way. It bordered right on the edge of boring/neutral.
The writing and structure of this book... the writing was hit or miss for me. There were a few lines throughout that I had to stop and re-read to understand them, these sometimes seemed like there was an extra word or something in the phraseology that didn't quite sit right. But there were also a few turns of phrase I quite liked, as well as a couple of quotes that I could feel being strong anchors for the hinging of tension or plot or argument. The structure of the book, being split into different timelines with different character points of view that were also told in first versus third person... I didn't have trouble following who was speaking/whose POV we were in, but there was a little bit of having to keep things straight timeline wise.


-The choice of doing Bea's POV in third person, to me, was a clear indication that she was dead. Especially as soon as anyone from The Project said that she was gone or had left, I was like "duh, cause she's dead..."
-The second Lo spots Emmy from afar, I knew that was Bea's daughter, probably from Lev, and then just a smidge later when we see Foster connected with Bea I correctly predicted that she'd have sex with him too.
-I felt like the change in Lo between parts 3 and 4 was too dramatic and too fast. I'd seen it coming, that Lo would be 'taken in' by Lev, but I felt like this could have been built up better. All the times they were together doing interviews, he'd say something and Lo 'starts to cry' 'starts to tremble'; or the scene would end with Lev's dramatic words. I think just a smidgen more layering in of doubt being seeded, or Lo thinking about his words later--this would have laid a better foundation for her change later on. Because it really felt like they were having a fraught scene, then suddenly had sex, then suddenly she's thinking "The Project is the only good thing in my life"... wtf?
-When it seemed that Lo had "switched sides" and suddenly was pro Project, I was holding out a tiny tiny hope that she was faking it (really well) and it was still all for the news story she'd been working on. Still a predictable plot, but could have added an interesting 'gotcha' when she dramatically revealed that she was never on Lev's side, and now has what she came for to put him away!


This was the book club choice for the Page Turner book club in March 2021. I went into it knowing really nothing other than it was maybe a thriller and maybe had to do with cults.