I feel like this might be in my top favorite books by Saxon James. It might even be number 1 on that list because holy shit OMFG this book was SO fucking good. Like no lie, be prepared because I feel an essay coming LMAOOO. Second chance/ friendship might just be one of my favorite troupes after this book 🍵.

This book had EVERYTHING. The connections, the emotions, the character development ( thxs for making me cry)—I truly never felt like anything was rushed. Everything felt so perfectly placed into the story that I genuinely didn't hate one thing at allll.

So we have Tai and Jensen, who at one point in their lives were best friends, but one day their friendship fell apart because something happened in Tai's life. He stopped contacting Jensen and stopped being there for him, and eventually the friendship just ended.

Well, years later, Jensen is in the NFL and it's summer break. One day, he gets a call that his ex-girlfriend has died, and suddenly he's told that he has a son—a son he knew absolutely nothing about. Now he has to process that fact and figure out what he even wants to do. The book is about him trying to build a relationship with his son and to be in his life like i love how much work he puts into being in Kasens life he doesn't half ass it and truly tries and listens to what Kasen wants at the end of the day.

Anyways of course he runs into his old bestie Tai 👀 And from there, they start rebuilding the connection they once had, but this time with actual communication and understanding. And I LOVED that so much. Like Tai came clean on why he ghosted Jensen and they had an actual communication where none was at fault and just awesome.

Never have I read a book where things were handled with so much understanding. Especially when we find out why Carly hid Kasen as a secret. Like, not one person was completely wrong for their actions or made into the villain. Yes, she absolutely should have told Jensen, but at the same time, her actions were understandable after everything she went through. And honestly, I can't really be angry at the dead. Even the grandma being scared that Jensen was gonna take away Kasen and Kasen being a lil dipshit to Jensen hes a kid who just his mom whose probably scared to let a nothet person in his life who might leave him.

ANYWAYS, I'm going off track lmaooo.

This book genuinely made me CRY. Tai's emotions, the shit he had to go through, and the amount of things he had to sacrifice for his dad just broke my heart. The scene where he had a breakdown near Jensen actually destroyed me. Like I was SOBBING so hard 😭😭

And ALSO—THERAPY. OMFG. I loved how Jensen told Tai that he needed help and that he wasn't going to budge on it. And Tai actually went and got help. You barely ever see therapy handled like this in books, and damn, I loved seeing it here.

I just think this is one of those books where the characters never realized that the person meant for them was right there the whole time. And honestly, it really made me think about how everything happens for a reason. The struggles we go through are okay, and there's nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to depression, breakdowns, or just struggling in general. Those things can happen, but we can't let them be the things that break us. We have to find a way to be strong and push through the toughness that life throws at us.

Sorry, now I'm rambling so much LMAOOO. I just—DAMN. I loved them. I loved this book. I loved the emotions, the communication, the way everything was handled. I loved ALL OF IT.

Okay, I need to stop talking now before this turns into an actual fucking essay 😭😭. Na i just reread this to check if i missed anything this is an essay 😂😂.

You know I'm about to write a whole-ass essay because there are way too many things I need to say about how much I loved this book.

First of all, as someone with ADHD, I felt like I was literally reading a book about myself. 😭😭 I have almost all the same quirks Elliot has. The silverware thing? Yeah, that's me. I can't eat with just any silverware—it has to be a certain type. Waiting forever to do laundry and then somehow not getting it done for a whole month? Also me. The entire time I was reading, I just kept seeing pieces of myself in Elliot.

Another thing that really hit me was Elliot's fear that he'd never find his person. Sometimes I feel like I'm too much for other people, and seeing Elliot struggle with those same thoughts felt so real. The only big difference is that I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was younger instead of as an adult, but still... omg. Anyway, that's enough about me rambling over how much I relate to Elliot. 😂

Now let me talk about Hunter and Elliot because I loved them so much. The build-up between them was absolutely perfect. Nothing felt rushed, and I loved how their relationship developed naturally. I loved how Elliot became this light in Hunter's dark world after everything he'd been through—the loss of his husband, his experiences in the military, and all the fears he carried because of it. Hunter had to take a chance on Elliot and let himself love again despite being terrified of losing someone.

And Elliot was just there for him. He understood him without pushing, and Hunter did the same for Elliot. They were both willing to support each other exactly when they needed it, and I loved that so much.

Also, the sex conversation with Zach had me crying laughing. That scene was hilarious. The way Elliot was so shy about asking the question had me rolling. 😂 I loved this friend group so freaking much.

Another thing I really loved was seeing Elliot finally communicate with his brother and open up about how lonely he'd been feeling. Everyone around him seemed to be finding their person, and it was making him feel left behind. Seeing him finally talk about that and be honest with how he was feeling was such a great moment.

Anyway, I'm rambling now, I need to stop typing before i write a 5 page essay on my love for this book ( no joke id do it 😂),but if I could give this book more than 5 stars, I absolutely would. It might honestly be my favorite book of the year. 😭😭

Guys im sorry i wrote another essay 😂😂

You know, going into this book I was scared I wasn’t going to like it because SO many people were hyping it up, but omfg was that hype justified 😭 Like no shit, this book??? This author??? I think I’m in love. Look, I know I say this about a lot of books, but I’m genuinely crashing out over how good this book was.

Legit me: brb as i add this to my taste thing in my profile

So we have Quinton and Oakley, who were each other’s rivals in high school but now go to the same college and are on the same team, while still hating each other with a passion. Quinton hates Oak and feels like he gets everything in life because he comes from a hockey legacy. Oak hates how brutal Quinton can be on the ice and is constantly pissed at him. And tbh, Quinton is a dick A LOT lmaooo. Like, I even see it. But Quinn actions go on a deepr level cause we learn his family are shit heads and thats why he has some deep layered issues with Oak so yes he pissed me off at first but ya gotta trust the process. ( Me laughing when he would get angry at Oakley over something and Oak is just standing there like🧍‍♂️)

Anyways, one day at a party they’re arguing and you know Oak says “suck my dick” and well… one thing leads to another 💀 And that one thing causes Quinton to think that because they did some shit together, that’s why they won. You know, the most oblivious shit ever like cant be any other reason 😭 Like, not because they’re actually good at hockey or anything, nope, it MUST be because he sucked Oaks dick. And that causes them to start doing shit together and slowly falling deeper and deeper into one another.

Also the banter between one another

But their connection grows SO deep, and they start learning so much about each other. They start seeing each other in a completely different light, and just watching that happen between them??? UGH. Like legit when they would flirt and just lowkey fall into one another id just have that day dream look of love over them cause damn i love them.

Anyways, I don’t normally cry when it comes to sex scenes, but Oakley and Quinton’s first time sleeping together had me BAWLING my eyes out. The connection between them and just how deep their feelings were getting to me like… damn 😭😭😭 And that wasn’t even the only time I cried, bruh.

I was SO fucking scared for when the thing was gonna come out, and then it happening right after Oak figuring out something internally about himself. Yeah, that did NOT help. I was already going insane. I was listening to this at work literally crashing out, and I try not to sob at work but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON A STICK 😭😭😭 THE TEARS WOULD NOT STOP. I genuinely could not get them to stop. Like each and every blow felt like a stab to my heart but what they went through needed to happen... let me stop now before i start a Ted talk 😭.

The emotions this author put into this book have to be the best kind of drug or some shit because WHAT WAS THAT??? 😭 I cannot wait to read the rest of this series. I can already tell I’m gonna love them just as much, so I’m making sure I have my tissues ready because I KNOW it’s gonna be a long ride.