My brain chemistry has been altered after finishing this.

I loved the subtleness, the nuance of their actions, of the hidden feelings, the lies, the promises. My heart beat was a war drum, and I'm not exaggerating one bit.

It was a lot and not enough at the same time.

I wholly believe that if Howell keeps up this pace, her next books will be even better than before. Will be even challenging some other authors for an autobuy option, not going to lie.

After enduring this worse-than-fanfiction story, I've too much on my mind.

First — don't read it. Never. Don't trust BookTook and the idealism it promotes about military "dark" romance; this should be.

Axelson didn't even bother checking her grammar once in this whole story. She kept switching from present tense to past tense within one paragraph, even within one sentence. And I'm not an English professor, but I believe that if you self-publish a book, you should at least invest in an editor. This was horrendous. My eyes bled. Literally.

She kept on repeating the same thing in three different consecutive paragraphs, in different ways: I stop in my tracks and give her a minute before I continue. I freeze in my tracks, with my hands by my chest. I stop before I can get a close look and touch her wrist.

Contains spoilers:

I have no words for these: I'm in shock and it shows on my tongue.

I grab her wrist softly and to my dismay, the IV is still intact(...)

Kane towers over the man I just killed making sure he’s really dead. He checks his pulse, clenching his jaw

He slit his throat... Why do you need to check for pulse??????

(...)The sound of a helicopter rumbles through the air and I immediately snap my attention to the dark sky. It's a Black Hawk.(...)

No way in hell can you tell from sound alone and a smudge in the sky which Heli it is.

His voice is so deep and angry, it sends fear throughout my nerves. ?????

The possibility of Shane attacking me again is valid

How can the possibility be valid

The least shocking part of it all was the trope of pregnancy. It was such a weak plot turn to make it interesting; I wanted to cry in anger.

So many military inaccuracies to make it interesting too... Fucking in a helicopter that is in the air? C'mon...

The PTSD trope is very hard to write; I will give you that. I've read several books about it or with characters suffering from it, but this... Oh god. If you could throw a ball into a hoop that's right in front of you with your non-dominant hand, you'd most likely hit the hoop... Not for this one. MMC's PTSD was made into a laughing stock. There were several attempts, and none were written believably. If you're incapable of writing about PTSD, find someone who has experience and is willing to share their story, or better yet, read about characters in stories suffering PTSD. It's fairly easy to understand what to focus on.

It's clear where Axelson took her inspiration—COD MW2022/2023, when Ghost was quite popular amongst the fandom because she mentions the MMC looking like: His face is covered in camouflage paint. A skull mask on his face. Shades of black, green, and brown all over, disguising his features.

And it, of course, ended on a cliffhanger where she is dying, but worry not! It's a series! So of course she'll survive.