WARNING: there is some talk about zodiac academy in this but it doesn’t really spoil anything but still…..warning

ok but seriously… can we talk about how every magical school in books is just ✨UNHINGED, too much trauma, and casual child endangerment✨???

like… WHO is accrediting these institutions??? where is the board of education??? what is the curriculum, exactly?? how are you gonna tell me your “school” includes death mazes, forbidden forests, live combat, dark magic, inter-species bullying, and then act like it’s normal because they have a dining hall and a headmaster with mysterious trauma. errrmmmm. that's not a school. that's a lawsuit waiting to happen 😭

📚🪄 and don't even get me STARTED on Zodiac Academy (no backlash on the series cuz it is one of my favourite series—LANCE MOTHERFREAKING ORIAN 🧎‍♀️). that place is not a school, it’s a supernatural version of The Hunger Games run by ✨horny professors✨ and ✨emotionally unstable princes✨ with jawlines sharp enough to slice through the plot holes. like: — the professors? perverts. I’m acc scared 😳 . — the students? literal sociopaths with abs. — the vibe? “welcome to our elite academy! here’s your uniform and a personalized trauma arc 💅” — the twins? got intensely bullied AND mentally tormented in the first week and still showed up to class like “huh that was weird 😃” EXCUSE ME?? GIRL. TRANSFER. GO TO COMMUNITY COLLEGE. IDC THAT U CAN’T GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT AND GIVE UP.

and like why is the whole school built around who has the biggest magical bloodline + who can throw the best enchanted punch?? not a single career fair in sight. no financial aid office. just ✨ancient prophecies✨, ✨sexy enemies✨, and ✨weird power dynamics with teachers✨ like HELLO?? this is not Hogwarts this is a psychological experiment.

also. everyone in these schools is either: — emotionally dead inside ☠️ — an alpha male with daddy issues 🐺 — a fairy 🧚‍♀️ — or all of the above and yet somehow there’s still time for romance subplots in between FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES during extracurriculars. like “I was almost murdered during elemental combat class but now I’m kissing my enemy on a rooftop under three moons while an assassin watches us from the shadows 😌✨” girl. what?? GET. A. GUIDANCE. COUNSELOR.

also why do the libraries always have forbidden sections where if you check the wrong book out you get cursed by the souls of the damned??? I’m just trying to pass Ancient Magic 101, not unlock the seventh seal of hell.

i’m sorry but if I ever got admitted to a magical academy and on day one someone tried to drown me in a fountain for “character development,” I’m calling my mom, dropping out, and becoming a barista in the human realm. ✌️

#ExpelMeIDontCare #TheseProfessorsNeedPrisonTime #DropOutAndDoWitchTok

I have an issue with rating books. Because i can read a book and know logically that it’s a work of art. I can appreciate the value of literature and I can tell when something is amazing.

However, I am a romantasy slutty smutty kinda girl. So how am I out here rating intellectual pieces of literary genius 3 stars but my reverse harem Vampire smut 5 stars just because it made me feel giddy?

Does anybody know what i’m talking about??? Are we basing it off vibes alone? what’s everyone doing? i need help.

Dude I like it, but I kinda wanna know what else is there. Like yeah, she's a dog. Yeah motherhood is hard. But what else, it's like 50% in. What else? I want to know. She's kinda telling me how hard it is, but I don't feel emotionally moved rn.