I started out this year fully motivated to read and meet my goals. I finished my first book and immediately jumped into the next books I planned to read.

Then the 2nd week into 2026, I suddenly had to say goodbye to my senior cat after she lost the battle with kidney disease and went into kidney failure. I had her for 17 years of my life. She was my anchor, my beacon of love, my whole entire world. And in an instant I had to let her go. In that instant my own life felt taken from me. Nothing matters to me anymore. Everything seems so pointless and meaningless without her here. It feels wrong to do things without her here. I can't do anything anymore except sit and just exist.

She used to curl up in my lap or right next to me while I read, and now to even think of picking up a book and try to read feels like a violation of her. It feels wrong to continue life as though I didn't just lose someone who meant the whole world to me and who loved me more than anything. It feels like life and the world is supposed to stop, but it continues on for everyone except me and her. She's gone and I'm just stuck and broken because I can't move on without her.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Do I just give up? I don't know.

I've tried telling myself she wouldn't want me not living and not enjoying things if she wasn't here, but the thing is, she loved me more than she cared about anything. She wasn't food motivated or play motivated or really wasn't motivated by anything other than just being with me. And she just made me feel loved when no one else loved me. I don't know what to do. I didn't just lose a pet. A big part of me died with her, and I don't know how to be okay with life now.

Has anyone been through something similar? If so how did you get through this?