it's 3am and i am mourning the passing of Benjamin Alire Sàenz. so forgive me for my teenage angst (is it angst? dramatics? i'm unsure!)

these books got me through so much. they taught me to forgive myself and others and to love and that not everything must last forever for it to mean something. that my friend being mvrdered wasn't my fault, that even if i could've stopped it no one expected me to. that everyone i've ever loved is everywhere, even if they're gone. they're there when you miss them and they're there on a beautiful day they would've loved, your nonna is there when you eat cauliflower for the first time since her passing and your friend is there when you watch the show you used to watch together. i feel you here, nonna and az and every friend i've ever had. the wonder i used to hold so gently and the version of my father those wonder-filled eyes knew so well. all the bubbles i popped and the songs id dance to. and today i can dance again and forget the moves in the next hour and i can pop bubbles and write words that one day will be lost to time. these are all the feelings these books lent to me. the acceptance Benjamin Alire Sàenz gifted us. and I thank him

this is my second time reading this, i read it my freshman year and I am now going into my senior years (hs) and i just love it so much. what makes it so enjoyable for me is the characters, i absolutely adore both michael and tori and the way tori's brain works and the kind of people she likes and doesn't like. shes kind of who i would be if i wasn't so anxious and afraid of people not liking me. ANYWAYS I LOVE THIS BOOK it just makes me feel so comfortable idk