[whisper] ✋Can I be honest?

I feel kind of "just ok" about this book.

One one hand- yes it is reflective, has elements of cross-cultural sharing of perspectives, opening up to differences, releasing held beliefs and pressures (often societal constructs) and embracing nature and one's authentic self (whatever that may be).

But it was also So. Heavy. Handed.

I think if I read this in my teens I probably would have loved it, but now? I'm just not sure it was made for me. Or maybe I'm not made for it.

When I started this book, I worried I was just too jaded, maybe cynical and sarcastic, or like "yes I've heard this before" and "oh look, here is representation smacking me in the face left and right" - and there are no problems with that per se, but why do I feel like I'm reading an afterschool special? Why am I like this? Why can I not be happy with book for just being "so cozy" and "so accepting" and so "we are ok"

Maybe I'm not the audience for this, or maybe I am. And I'm just resistent. In the way that Dex was resistant too.

As the book progressed, and I kept trying to be open to it, to see where it led, these internalized tensions did release in me more and more and I found myself becoming engaged in Dex and 'Caps discussions, but I will say, I'm still left feeling "meh" about it, and not the profound awestruck googly eyes that some others have said this book gave them. And I'm SO glad this book provided that for so many readers, but again- when it's the right place and the right time, books can be that for us.

I wondered often that "if I had a 9-10 yr old child I would love to read this book out loud to them", but then I'd come across some random gratuitous swear word (and believe me I love a well placed swear word, but just not as often in fantasy or sci-fi as it really takes me out of the immersion/world) and think, damn, if only this book was YA or middle grade or like for a family audience then I think it would be perfect. But instead it's somewhere in between- not quite for a child but not quite for an adult; most likely a young 20something trying to figure oneself out and confronting a society that has said "fk you and go find out" the hard way, I could see this book being an outreached hand.

• but also maybe is for a cringy millennial who is rejecting growing up?

(Couldn't be me)(hi it's me)(but actually it's not cause I like being an adult)(but also fk capitalism and grind culture and responsibility for what) (but also Dex was super representative of the caring profession burnout and feeling like that is all we are and who we are as a person and who are we without that purpose and worth?) so in that sense I did like and agree with the book.

My overall review is- you could read this book and LOVE it and you could not. And that is ok.

Maybe I'll pick this back up in the next generation when I'm dismantled and rebuilt and have some remnants of this old self and my new self will be able to process and experience this in a new light. 💡