My Selling Pitch:
Marginally better than the first, but still a generic, cozy, urban fantasy, queer, monster romance that progresses too quickly to read as anything other than instalove with a distracting amount of disordered eating.

On my do not read list.

Pre-reading: Samantha, if you didn’t like the first one, why would you continue? Because I’m a slut for cute covers and stupidly requested the second before I finished the first one.

(obviously potential spoilers from here on) Thick of it: Me last book: there’s no point to the brother! This book: he’s the mmc Me: well shit.

Dude, what is with her drinking water fetish haha? It’s like the only casual dialogue she knows how to include.

Kinda weird to meet someone and immediately draw soft core of them. Just sayin.

You know, not my kink, but I respect it. The dirty talk kind of kicks.

What kind of conspiracy theory is it that every emotionally stunted man’s favorite food is lasagna?

This book just will not chill with the disordered eating!

He’s got a lot of autism coding for someone that doesn’t read as autistic in the text. The dialogue is not working for me.

Imagine being 600 years old and still insecure.

I’d try a drug, maybe it would heal my childhood trauma is crazy work. Men will do anything but therapy lmao.

Now that she pointed it out, how does the Kraken go to the bathroom because don’t some sea creatures do it out their mouths or something? (Samantha watches too much Nat Geo.)

Post-reading: Look, it was better than the first one, but it’s still not good! Even though this book had the relationship move publicly slower, it still felt like instalove in private. Fated mates is a hard trope to slow-burn, but I’m not even asking for that. I just wanna see more development than oh shit, they’re hot, guess I want to spend my entire life with them. I feel like this book was hinting that Reece might have autism, but it never felt like it. I need some better dialogue or public shutdowns or stimming activities besides an offhand comment that he doesn’t like wearing socks. Especially when you’ve got Heated Rivalry and Ali Hazelwood leading the charge on that representation front.

The urban fantasy world continues to be neglected with no monster-friendly accommodations made. We get infodumped about the alternative anatomy, but she fails to mention how Krakens go to the bathroom, and now I’m left wondering if it’s a functionally immortal like a jellyfish sort of situation, because both squids and octopi have buttholes. A wild thing to write in a review for sure, but I like my fantasies to keep their logic tight. It’s sexier.

Which, speaking of, the smut in this wasn’t bad. Distinctly not my kink, but a better time than last book’s doggy style. Believe me, we’re all surprised.

Unfortunately, the generic cozy romance of it all is once again overshadowed by incredibly disordered thoughts about food. They’ll send him to therapy for his daddy issues, but someone needs to get on this town about their obsession with maintaining a calorie deficit. I will quite happily take less abs if I could stop hearing about how every date is a cheat meal.

I think if you’re really into tentacles, you can kill a few hours with this and not be outrageously disappointed, but if that’s not your journey, I think you can safely give this a skip.

Who should read this: Cozy monster romance fans

Ideal reading time: Summer

Do I want to reread this: No

Would I buy this: No

Similar books:

• Go Luck Yourself by Sara Raasch-urban fantasy, queer romance, enemies to lovers, family drama
• Sweet Berries by C. M. Nascosta-cozy, urban fantasy, monster romance
• The Build-A-Boyfriend Project by Mason Deaver-contemporary, queer romance, trans, autism
• Taken by the Alien Next Door by Tiffany Roberts-cozy, urban fantasy, alien romance
• Transcontinental Breakfast by Thundertail Slapbush-urban fantasy, object smut, queer romance, family drama

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

My Selling Pitch:
Instalove werewolf romance with really amateur writing and a distractingly unresolved eating disorder for a cozy.

On my do not read list.

Pre-reading: In a completely out of character move, Samantha is picking up yet another werewolf book. The covers for this series are adorable!

(obviously potential spoilers from here on) Thick of it: Fountain soda just hits different.

A 14-year relationship?!? That’s crazy.

The writing’s pretty amateur but about what I expect for cozy romance.

Oh, just straight in on the smut, then!

This is way too instalove.

Gspot sin

The fashion choices-like all the neon-are very dated 2000s.

Also, it’s getting a little eating disordery where the fat girl only eats junk and he can’t have sweets around/orthorexia, and I’d like it to stop.

They’re both getting way too ahead of themselves in this “relationship.” Pump the brakes!

One date to all this is crazy work.

This writing’s so repetitive, and the smut’s like a speed run.

Charmed my pussy is crazy work.

Haha, good job, book! Sugar makes for a nasty UTI.

Not the NSAIDs, hahaha!

I’ve never understood the appeal of Mario Kart. Just doesn’t do it for me.

I got it from my mama! Idk if I wanna know my mom likes big blue alien dick though lmao.

Smut vastly improved on the back half.

Comically evil exes are so tiring. I hate to see it.

I know all these urban fantasies make the main characters unaware of the alternative anatomy aspects for the sake of the audience, but it never makes any sense to me. You’ve got Google.

Why is this brother plot line even in here? Y’all know I’m never team patriarchy, but full Frozen, you can’t marry a man you just met!

Not to be chronically dehydrated, but this book excessively points out when they drink anything. The food in cozies is always a little much but this is next level.

Y’all know how I feel about a “same.” dialogue.

I can’t take Wolf Daddy seriously lmao.

Shone not shined.

Oh sharp decline in quality again. I wonder if these are the OG sections?

Post-reading: Y’all, I hate having to blast an indie, but sometimes they're just not good! I'm not the biggest fan of cozies to begin with, but every now and then they can be nice feel-good reads. This had all the cliches I can't stand to see in them. It’s beyond instalove. They're boyfriend/girlfriend date one and meet the friends that same day. They're moved in and functionally married in all of two months, and the characters cautioning them to pump the brakes are treated like they’re batshit. There’s a comically evil ex. Everyone has more money than sense and it just reads like clumsy wish fulfillment. There's a lot of pop culture references in this which I know can drive some readers crazy, but it never really bothers me.

The smut’s an odd mix that feels like a speed run with some particularly cringy lines thrown in and then some other spicier moments that don't NOT work, but they're not particularly memorable or unique. I know this was revamped and expanded on to go trad, and I have a sneaky suspicion those weaker scenes are untouched from the original material.

I wish this was campier and had more banter. The world-building is pretty non-existent outside of a saltwater pool which is disappointing to see in an urban fantasy, especially when I think most readers are going to compare this to Kimberly Lemming or C. M. Nascosta’s work, both of which are much, much stronger.

There’s also quite a bit of disordered eating talk that overshadowed the romance for me. It’s never fully resolved in a healthy way. There's an extraneous, mild family drama plotline as well that goes nowhere. The brother character doesn't add anything to the plot to the point that he could've been removed and the book would be functionally the same. That's really bad.

Overall, the book just progresses too quickly and is sparse on details outside of food descriptions, so you never really bond with the characters before it's already over. I don't think you're missing out on anything if you skip it.

Who should read this: Cozy monster romance fans

Ideal reading time: Anytime

Do I want to reread this: No

Would I buy this: No, which is a bummer because I love the cover.

Similar books:

• Morning Glory Milking Farm by C. M. Nascosta-same book, different font. Cozy, urban fantasy, monster romance
• Taken by the Alien Next Door by Tiffany Roberts-cozy, urban fantasy, alien romance
• That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf by Kimberly Lemming-campy, cozy fantasy, werewolf romance
• Bride by Ali Hazelwood-urban fantasy, werewolf romance, enemies to lovers, marriage of convenience, family drama, autism
• Willing Prey by Allie Oleander-cozy romance, kink, autism
• The Mating Game by Lana Ferguson-cozy, werewolf romance
• Albatross by Karlee Berrios-urban fantasy, demon romance, why choose, thriller
• Transcontinental Breakfast by Thundertail Slapbush-urban fantasy, object smut, queer romance, family drama

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

My Selling Pitch:
The EPA’s library vs thinly veiled Christian nationalism, but it does just read like YA fantasy Go Diego Go meets Beauty and the Beast.

Pre-reading: Hear me out, I still think This Dark Descent had legs. It needed to be adult and it needed more time in the oven, but there was something there. I hope graduating to adult fantasy fixes the issues.

(obviously potential spoilers from here on) Thick of it: This book is gonna have to do a lot of heavy lifting to make me believe that a kingdom blindly believes animals are bad and sinful. This would destroy their ecosystem.

This is a little on the nose with Christianity.

Nothing about this is giving adult. It’s very YA right now.

So the EPA’s library vs thinly veiled Christian nationalism. Does this get more subtle and adult or did I sign up for a 400 page YA soapbox?

Celaena Sardothian has entered the chat.

Passing out is lazy writing.

Right now, all I’m hearing is what if Celaena and Lysandra were lesbian lovers?

Babe, if you want this to be an adult book, stop defining con artist like your readers don’t know what that means.

I’m like irritated with how not adult this is. This is a step below Throne of Glass. What are we doing?

Is it actually a talking cat because that’s stupid. I’m assuming it’s the librarian speaking through the animal he’s possessed. (Nope.)

There’s a lot of redheads in this book.

What in the Beauty and the Beast copy is this?

I’m annoyed by all the info dumping and exposition dialogue that doesn’t make sense because the people already know this info.

You know this book has to end with her boyfriend transforming into a monster and then she’ll have to protect him next book. (Girl, basically.)

Isn’t Iyliss the name of the housemaid in acotar? (I listened to this as an audiobook, and Alis and Iyliss do sound exactly the same.)

Allaster was supposed to be the Miravi prince and his brother had to take over instead maybe?

Me picturing that infamous Cardan throne fanart-aaand he’s a ginger. That kinda ruins the bad boy lol. (Still haven’t read Cruel Prince, but I’m almost positive I will love it.)

Girl, you’re getting conned. May wants you to trust her so that you’ll tell her all your secrets. (Yup.)

The jewelry stops magic maybe? So they don’t transform. (Yup.)

I don’t know, it’s just hard to buy this book. You expect me to believe an entire universe believes animals act mindlessly violent without motive and evolutionary strategies, but they know what adaptations are and they have farming, so they know about selective breeding. Like none of this makes sense.

Jasad Heir did it better. I swear to god, if she’s the lost princess from this boarded-up kingdom- (Ask me again in book two, but I’m pretty sure I’m right.)

I think this might be my last book by this author. You know there’s nothing that offensive about this, but it does just kind of read like a mediocre mashup of popular YA fantasy.

Also, I’m just hung up on the idea that her creatures are just diet-swapped predators that evolutionarily don’t make sense. And I can hear the peanut gallery now uh Samantha, it’s magic. Where’s your whimsy? Shot between my front-facing mammalian predator eyes.

I’m sorry, that I’m a blade no one else can wield line is directly copied from The Jasad Heir.

They keep pointing out that she’s dead so much that I no longer believe she’s dead.

I know this is my own hangup and undiagnosed ADHD, but every time this book says cottage, I hear the Heated Rivalry will you come to my cottage all clipped in my head.

The classification system did genuinely make me chuckle because I’m 12 years old. But also this is just Go Diego Go.

I’m coming around on this. I’m having a better time. Like I’m still cranky about it. It’s not adult, but I’ve made my peace that it’s just gonna be a mid YA and now I’m vibing.

How is she gonna grab the headboard if there’s no headboard? Come on now!

Hehehe, we love a flustered man. I’m so easy to please.

I genuinely don’t understand why she doesn’t just come clean to him about how she’s a political pawn because I’m pretty sure he could keep her from the jail system and she has no loyalty to those people.

I went right to a Jacob’s ladder, but I am also a bad person!

the book: he’s running out of ear to pierce! sam: jacob’s ladder next, then. nice. the book: nipples, we went to nipples. is she okay?

CAMARADERIE, I mean🎶

Why the hell would she tell him? She didn’t even get to the torture part. She was just like no, it’s fine. I’ll tell you. Fucking snitches get stitches, bitch.

Well, sure, as long as you told him not to tell anyone. I’m sure that’ll go well.

You know, I was a little harsh on this book. I’m having a decent time now.

So help me god, if they turn into dragons-

I feel like you can give him magic though and the library will just kill him.

If they’re prepping us for the medic to be the spy- (Ask me again in book two, but this would be disappointing and forced.)

I’m just a girl. I love when a man shoves another man against a wall.

This is a 3.5. It’s a little too long in places. Character motivations needed some work. The characters themselves aren’t super complex. Rape is not a get out of nuanced backstory jail free card. It’s not adult…but I still kinda like it? Like I’m rooting for them.

It also irritates me that there’s that whole she’s my assistant and she has a pet Guvre-I mean Gievra. Like Miss Hannah Nicole wants a word.

And the villains always wear gloves cliche.

Some of these phrases have gotten real repetitive. Like chill with the windowless cell and dark holes.

Passing out is lazy writing.

This plot with Thane and Vera is sloppy af.

Vera has lied all book and you’re still surprised????

You can't have a huge character death off-page like that. What kind of villain leaves her with a pulse?

This wrap-up is better, but still kinda plotholey. That’s a lot of convenient letters and eavesdropping.

Another fucking bat boy.

Does this count as a monster romance now lol?

If using magic makes him more beastly, maybe homeboy should stop teleporting every two minutes.

That’s a pretty abrupt ending.

So who was the other spy? Did we never get that answer? Where was Iyliss? Like I know we’ve gotta leave some mystery for book two, but introducing something that far back in the book and asking me to remember it for a sequel a year out-

Like is it good? No. Will I be picking up the sequel? Yes. Am I extremely worried because her last sequel was dogshit that should've just been tacked onto book one- I just can’t imagine her coming up with 400 more pages worth of plot to justify a book two.

Post-reading: If you take this as YA, it’s a tidy little 3.5. It does feel like a mashup of popular fantasies with flatter characters, but it’s tropey and enjoyable enough to get invested. Measured against adult standards-which is what this book is billed as, it would be on my do not read list.

The most adult part of these meandering 450 pages is a nipple ring joke. I’m not kidding.

I don’t think you can read this and not side-eye the similarities between this and Throne of Glass and The Jasad Heir, and if you’re going to play at those juggernaught IPs, you’d better come with something wholly original to stand apart, or your readers are going to compare you the whole time, and you’re gonna come up wanting.

There’s not an original thing about this. The creature management feels lifted from The Phoenix Keeper. The butler figure has phonetically the same name as ACOTAR’s before even mentioning the Beauty and the Beast angle to the romance. She’s an assistant with a pet Gievra a la Miss Hannah Nicole’s series. Kasira is a less ballsy mashup of Celaena’s time with Arobynn and Sylvia’s political maneuvering with Arin. A magical library isn’t exactly new territory, but one complete with an inherited role and a magical sword is awfully similar to Harrow’s Starling House.

And yet I still kinda like it? I don’t know if it’s just nostalgia for those other series or if it’s because I’m an enemies to lovers slut, but I had an okay time with this. And I went in cranky. If you sell me on adult and open with info dumping fit for an easy reader, it’s gonna piss me off. Once I adjusted my expectations to YA territory, this was a better read.

The politicking isn’t savvy enough for an adult fantasy, and it’s a little lackluster when Bardugo’s Six of Crows set the standard for YA. The characters’ motivations require a good deal of suspension of disbelief. It’s incredibly hard to believe that Kasira sees Vera as such a viable threat. The book continuously talks down to its audience like a con artist is some sort of new term that needs to be redefined every few chapters. Some of the writing gets repetitive, especially a few choice phrases, to the point that the word count feels bloated. This current iteration needed to be tightened up into a 350, and then I would’ve given her 50 pages for better character backstory and development. The endless reflective inner monologues needed to be cut. If your audience can’t grasp it from the on-page action, you haven’t done your job. A lot of the book’s dialogue is just world-building exposition that doesn’t make sense because those characters should already know those facts, and then that world-building is extraneous anyway. There’s grounding a fantasy novel, and then there’s throwing in what feels like fun facts. Give them some plot relevance, or keep it moving.

It’s also just fundamentally such a hard sell that you have a world where people engage in agriculture which goes hand in hand with selective breeding and you establish that they know the term adaptation, but yet they can’t fathom that an entire ecosystem of creatures has a motive beyond bloodlust, religious zealotry, or not. It’s book breaking. And that’s without getting me started on the idea that the most dangerous bestial predator in the land is a venomous carnivore with a fucking ox head. Like it’s a nitpicky thing, but readers picking up any semblance of fantasy zoo tycoon are gonna know hunters have their eyes in the front.

I think you can skip it and not miss anything, it if you do pick it up, as long as you treat it like a YA, you’ll have a decent time. You shouldn’t pick this up if you want an adult fantasy. It won’t deliver. The audiobook is very good and if you’re going to pick this up, I highly advise taking that route.

Who should read this: Generic YA fantasy fans

Ideal reading time: Anytime

Do I want to reread this: No, but I’ll continue because I’m a completionist.

Would I buy this: If the sequel’s decent, I’d like it for my shelves. Until that book gets the stamp of approval, I’d grab this one from your library.

Similar books:

• The Jasad Heir by Sara Hashem-my shayla, the goddamn standard for political fantasy enemies to lovers romance, family drama
• Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas-OG YA fantasy romance, enemies to lovers
• A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas-Beauty and the Beast retelling, fantasy romance
• The Phoenix Keeper by S. A. MacLean-cozy, urban fantasy, queer romance, enemies to lovers, heist
• Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo-urban fantasy, heist, ensemble cast, queer, romance
• Wooing the Witch Queen by Stephanie Burgis-cozy fantasy romance, family drama
• Daughter of No Worlds by Carissa Broadbent-YA fantasy romance, teacher x student
• The Knight and the Moth by Rachel Gillig-gothic fantasy romance, enemies to lovers, religious commentary
• Emily Wilde’s Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett-light academia, cozy fantasy romance

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.