"He's going to miss this. He's going to miss everything."

I struggled mightily with writing this review so it doesn't come off as victim blaming, and I'm still not sure I got there. I had a very hard time absorbing the lessons about divorce here from all the rich people hand wringing that went on in between. I can only be honest, I guess.

This is a book about a wealthy couple's divorce. He up and leaves her in the middle of COVID without warning (maybe), gives up all rights to their kids, and vanishes into the night, except for when he promises to drag things out in court. And, if you can manage to separate the message from the messenger, this is also a book about loss, how people treat you differently post-divorce, and managing grief along the way. These are all valid messages for someone going through a divorce themselves, but it (personally) felt different coming from someone who really wasn't without resources herself.

So, first thing's first, one should really read the New Yorker article on this book/divorce to get a more full picture of the stakes involved. The gist is, they were fighting over a house on Martha's Vineyard and exclusive club membership. She had millions (and I mean millions) in assets he was never going to be able to touch anyway, so she was never in danger of being left broke, destitute, and homeless. He's still a right royal asshole, but she's also going to be fine.

Early on in their relationship, there's an entire flag corps of red flags that parade past our unfortunate divorcee. Being controlling. Being hot and cold with his moods. Being forced into a prenup that her own lawyer told her not to sign because he told her to. Even after they have kids, he literally says to her, "I don't do bed, baths, or homework". Like, yikes. I feel like all of this, all of the stress, the grief, the involvement of the kids, could have been avoided if she valued herself as a person on her own and realized what he was doing to her.

Speaking of, it never felt like Belle ever defined herself at all as a person separate from anyone around her. She was a wife. A mother. A rich social butterfly. A devoted daughter to an even more rich family. Not once did it feel like she ever established herself as a person unto herself. Her self worth was entirely wrapped up in people around her, and that's sad.

So, I guess if you can separate out the worthwhile nuggets of experience from someone going through a divorce, there's something here. I tried very hard to empathize with her, because absolutely, James is an ass, but she made it really difficult for me to do so.