WHY do romance books keep giving me the ickiest icks known to mankind 😭 like i’ll be 200 pages in, having the time of my life, and then BAM he calls her “baby girl” out of nowhere and i’m PHYSICALLY ILL🤨. spine folded. soul left my body.

can we PLEASE retire the trope where the guy acts like he’s NEVER EVER seen a woman before🤧??? like “you’re not like other girls” NO YOU’RE RIGHT I’M CLOSING THE BOOK 😭

and don’t even get me started on when he’s weirdly possessive for no reason. like sir, she said HI to the waiter, not pledged her eternal love. calm DOWN. 🚩YOU CANT KILL EVERY MAN THAT BREATHES THE SAME AIR AS HER😭😭

oh oh oh and the “he’s rude because he likes her” nonsense. that’s not cute😔, that’s MIDDLE SCHOOL energy. therapy exists now, go to it.

also when the girl loses all her personality the second she falls in love🤨🤨?? girl where did your brain go 😭 bring her back, she was interesting before he showed up but now ITS ALL ABOUT HIM🫤 all she thinks about, her problems ALL SHE IS, IS JUST "HIS LOVER"

and when there’s a “passionate” scene but he’s like... lowkey mean🫥🫥?? and it’s framed as sexy?? BABE IT’S NOT. nothing kills a vibe faster than disrespect in italics.🤧

i swear half of these books are just red flags with abs. give me softness🤧. give me mutual pining AND basic respect. give me the love interest who’s OBSESSED in a HEALTHY way—like “I made you tea and bookmarked your page” not “I'm mean to you and make you insecure because your mine and I love you.” 😭

WARNING: there is some talk about zodiac academy in this but it doesn’t really spoil anything but still…..warning

ok but seriously… can we talk about how every magical school in books is just ✨UNHINGED, too much trauma, and casual child endangerment✨???

like… WHO is accrediting these institutions??? where is the board of education??? what is the curriculum, exactly?? how are you gonna tell me your “school” includes death mazes, forbidden forests, live combat, dark magic, inter-species bullying, and then act like it’s normal because they have a dining hall and a headmaster with mysterious trauma. errrmmmm. that's not a school. that's a lawsuit waiting to happen 😭

📚🪄 and don't even get me STARTED on Zodiac Academy (no backlash on the series cuz it is one of my favourite series—LANCE MOTHERFREAKING ORIAN 🧎‍♀️). that place is not a school, it’s a supernatural version of The Hunger Games run by ✨horny professors✨ and ✨emotionally unstable princes✨ with jawlines sharp enough to slice through the plot holes. like: — the professors? perverts. I’m acc scared 😳 . — the students? literal sociopaths with abs. — the vibe? “welcome to our elite academy! here’s your uniform and a personalized trauma arc 💅” — the twins? got intensely bullied AND mentally tormented in the first week and still showed up to class like “huh that was weird 😃” EXCUSE ME?? GIRL. TRANSFER. GO TO COMMUNITY COLLEGE. IDC THAT U CAN’T GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT AND GIVE UP.

and like why is the whole school built around who has the biggest magical bloodline + who can throw the best enchanted punch?? not a single career fair in sight. no financial aid office. just ✨ancient prophecies✨, ✨sexy enemies✨, and ✨weird power dynamics with teachers✨ like HELLO?? this is not Hogwarts this is a psychological experiment.

also. everyone in these schools is either: — emotionally dead inside ☠️ — an alpha male with daddy issues 🐺 — a fairy 🧚‍♀️ — or all of the above and yet somehow there’s still time for romance subplots in between FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES during extracurriculars. like “I was almost murdered during elemental combat class but now I’m kissing my enemy on a rooftop under three moons while an assassin watches us from the shadows 😌✨” girl. what?? GET. A. GUIDANCE. COUNSELOR.

also why do the libraries always have forbidden sections where if you check the wrong book out you get cursed by the souls of the damned??? I’m just trying to pass Ancient Magic 101, not unlock the seventh seal of hell.

i’m sorry but if I ever got admitted to a magical academy and on day one someone tried to drown me in a fountain for “character development,” I’m calling my mom, dropping out, and becoming a barista in the human realm. ✌️

#ExpelMeIDontCare #TheseProfessorsNeedPrisonTime #DropOutAndDoWitchTok

“What vein weather-cocks we are!” 😭

How do I google search the meaning of that without sus things coming up 😞🥀

i love this series with all my heart

So far, I'm hating Warner so much, I just want to punch him. I've read some spoilers online and I really don't get how people could love him? Guys???? Hello?????