because here’s the thing. when dark romance hits?? when it’s done RIGHT??? IT’S EVERYTHING. it’s addictive. it’s raw, messed-up, healing, violent, tender, and literally made to make you feel unsafe but understood.

but when it’s BAD… oh we’re entering the trenches of wattpad wattpaddery. the type of books that make u want to call CPS on the author.

🌶️ THE SPICE VS THE STORYLINE BATTLE

let’s just get this out the way: spice ≠ plot.

“he choked her against the wall” is not character development. I am BEGGING.

i want twisted, obsessive, dangerous love, YES — but i want it to mean something. if you’re gonna give me a stalker, give me one who journals about it. if you're gonna give me a killer, give him existential guilt and a soft spot for dogs (*cough AARON WARNER) or something .

like I do NOT want to read 300 pages of two people having hate-$egs. sir that’s ✨just✩ NOT ENOUGH. give me the angst. the longing. the unearned loyalty. the twisted logic of “i know he’s bad but he’s only bad for me 😩.”

if he’s morally grey and lwk unhinged but he breaks when she cries?? i’m sold. if he says “i’d burn the world down for you” and then actually does it??? THAT’S LITERATURE RIGHT THERE. OBSESSEDDDDD

do i need therapy? probably. but also: fictional red flags don’t count. i’m not defending serial killers irl, i’m reading about them being soft for ONE (1) emotionally unavailable woman in fiction. there’s a difference. (*cough AARON WARNER—again)

also can we talk about the ✨MELTDOWNS✨ these men have when the girl they’ve been threatening with a knife to her throat suddenly gets hurt and they realize they have a heart??

like bro u had her tied with chains in chapter 3 and now ur crying because she has a scratch on her hand?

tbh idk if i love or hate it…

💀 THE DARK ROMANCE THAT ISN’T DARK, IT’S JUST ILLEGAL

and now. my 13th reason.

we need to talk about the books that pretend they’re “dark” but really they’re just 🚩🚩🚩 and a lawsuit waiting to happen.

if ur story involves: —teacher/student “romance” (EXCEPT ZODIAC ACADEMY AS THE ONLY EXCEPTION) —a grown man “falling for” a 17-year-old who acts 12 —SA played off as “tension” (girl…rape is not hot, get a grip on urself) —a man being emotionally abusive and calling it “dominance” —stalking and isolation being “protectiveness” with no consequences

CONGRATS. THAT’S NOT DARK. THAT’S JUST DISTURBING.

i’m not saying every dark romance needs to be morally perfect but you can’t just write trauma and never actually unpack it. not every boundary being crossed is spicy. and if the “romance” feels more like a crime scene, you’ve gone too far.

🥹 DARK ROMANCE THAT FEEDS MY SOUL THO??? OBSESSION FUEL.

give me: —complicated men with violent hands and soft hearts —women who are unafraid, messy, morally grey THEMSELVES (WE STANDD) —unhealthy beginnings that turn into loyalty and trust and healingggg (MANIFESTING) —real consequences. real change. real growth.

when a dark romance gives me the full arc — the pain, the slow burn 🔥 , the internal conflict, the oh my god do i deserve love??? monologue — i’m OBSESSED. cuz we LOVE A BROKEN MANNN. (*cough AARON WARNER—again)

like YES KING. FEEL SHAME. NOW GO BE SOFT. I LOVE GOLDEN RETRIEVER ENERGY SM. ♥️

👏 STOP CALLING IT “ALPHA” WHEN IT’S JUST ANGER ISSUES

i’m so tired of the “dominant alpha male” being code for raging narcissist who can’t communicate and punches walls like BROV, ARE U GOOD, DO I NEED TO BOOK U A THERAPIST TO HELP U FIND A DIFFERENT COPING MECHANISM??? what happened to tension without making the love interest a villain for no reason?

we need more dark roms mmc’s who know how to ask “is this okay?” BECAUSE CONSENT IS HOTTTT 🥵

we need less “i’ll punish you for breathing” and more “i’m obsessed with the way you exist and it terrifies me” (*cough AARON WARNER-AGAIN)

like i’m not asking to rewrite the whole character. i still want the morally unwell men. i just want them written by authors who understand that power should feel hot — not predatory.

and totally not judging u if u don’t agree with all these points because sometimes i gotta admit i luv my tortured mafia kings, — but only if they’re written with depth. with nuance. with humanity. (STILL CAN’T BEAT AARON WARNER ANDERSON CHIEF COMMANDER AND REGENT OF SECTOR 45, SON OF THE SUPREMEME COMMANDER OF NORTH AMERICA THO)

and if they beg on their knees? even better 😌

if u have a rec that made u feel feral, unwell, and morally compromised, drop it. i’m ready to spiral again.

#DarkRomanceRecsPlsss #KissMeOrKillMeIDontCare #BurnItAllDownForMeDaddy #PageboundConfessions #iloveaaronwarnerandersonchiefcommanderandregentofsector45sonofthesupremecommanderofthereestablishment

aka: how is everyone in these stories just casually running around solving ancient prophecies, falling in love, training for battle, starting rebellions, AND journaling about their trauma... all before dinner??? 😭

like I read ONE fantasy book where the main girl said “I haven’t slept in 4 days” and then proceeded to climb a mountain, fight a demon, write poetry, and fall in love with the enemy prince 😐 ma’am. when was the last time you peed???

NO JOB??? NO RESPONSIBILITIES??? YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A PART-TIME SHIFT AT THE VILLAGE BAKERY??

bc if I skipped one night of sleep I’d be crying over a slightly rude text and ordering Uber Eats in my pajamas by 11am. She’s out here doing parkour and plotting revolutions. Girl, be so serious.

📚 also let’s talk about how NO ONE EVER HAS TO PACK A BAG???

They’ll be like “we leave at dawn” and just walk into the woods with nothing. No change of clothes, no toothbrush, no snacks, not even chapstick. and then somehow 300 pages later they’re still wearing “the same cloak” and eating “dried meat from their satchel” like ??? FROM WHERE??? IS THE SATCHEL MAGIC???

✨ Book characters really be out here: —living off vibes and vengeance —getting stabbed and being like “I’m fine” —sleeping once a week and waking up “refreshed” —surviving off one (1) apple and a dream

honestly, respect to them but also I’d last 12 minutes in a fantasy novel before crying because I forgot my phone charger 😭

also can we PLEASE address how all these girlies in fantasy books have TIME for love triangles WHILE trying to stop the end of the world?? 💀 like she’s got a cursed dagger in one hand, a prophecy in the other, but her MAIN CONCERN is which morally grey man is giving her ✨more intense stares✨ today

girl. THE KINGDOM IS ON FIRE. FOCUS.

🫠 like sorry but if I’m in a fantasy novel and someone says “we ride at dawn,” I’m saying ride where??? my phone’s at 3%, I haven’t eaten, and my mental stability is hanging on by a ✨vague prophecy✨

you expect me to fight a shadow king on 45 minutes of sleep and one slice of stale bread??? be fr

if I trip over one enchanted root I’m turning around and going home. I don’t care if the fate of the realm is at stake. someone else can be the chosen one. I’m tired 😭 anyway. justice for characters who wanna take a nap instead of overthrowing a kingdom.

#WhyIsNoOneTired #FantasyFictionIsAFeverDream #PackASnackOrPerish #NotTheChosenOneJustChronicallyExhausted #IAmNotBuiltForThisQuest

aka things i’ve read that sent me into a full identity crisis 😃🔫

okay but fr some of y’all authors need to be put on a government watchlist for the stuff you’re writing 😭 i picked up a book thinking it was gonna be a cute lil romance and tell me why this girl ended up MARRYING her dad’s best friend?????

like. not crushing. not flirting. MARRYING. HER. DAD’S. BEST. FRIEND.

sir that is the man who watched you grow up???? he was at your 7th birthday party and now he’s your husband??? nah because that’s not a trope, that’s a CRIME SCENE 🚓🚓🚓

AND ANOTHER THING—can we have a moment of silence for the amount of step-sibling romances i’ve accidentally read bc y’all love to hide that info in the second half of the blurb 😐

like “they met one summer, fell in love, but then… their parents got married 😏” — HELLO??? that’s not forbidden romance, that’s THERAPY BAIT. why do they always find out after the kissing?? that’s not plot development, that’s trauma 💔

and i know some of you are gonna be like “they’re not blood related tho” but okay?? 😭 let’s be so serious

✨other tropes/random book things that need to be YEETED into the sun✨: —miscommunication that lasts 300 pages when one text could solve it (i’m tired) —the toxic emotionally unavailable guy who needs a girl to “save him” (sir get a journal and a therapist, not a girlfriend) —the “sHe’S oNLY 18 😏” paired with a 32-year-old man. LOCK. HIM. UP. —surprise secret baby. no bc that’s not a twist, that’s a whole tax bracket

🫡 can we bring back: —healthy tension with actual chemistry??? —friendships that matter?? —soft boys who journal and make playlists?? —banter that isn’t just bullying in disguise?? —main characters with hobbies besides just ✨breathing✨ and falling in love

i read books to escape reality, not to end up emotionally damaged AND confused 💀 anyway, i’m gonna go read fanfic where the characters act like humans again 🫶

#BookTok #Pagebound #TropesILoveToHate #ThisFeltIllegal #WhattheWattpad #CallThePoliceNotTheLoveInterest