(In reference to Lolita’s books) “Ridiculous books”

“In two years or so she would cease being a nymphet and would turn into a young girl, then into a college girl. That horror of horrors.”

IM YELLING. And people wonder why I’m so staunchly for women being educated and especially pursuing further studies or at least something that furthers intellectual pursuits and freedom. Even if not through traditional college because I understand how that’s definitely out of reach for many. Abusers target those who they see as uneducated and specifically try and keep their victims uneducated!!! The way it’s dotted throughout and certainly one of the reasons HH is disgusted by grown women says volumes. He WANTS an uneducated girl that doesn’t know better and has less life experience and education than him. To have otherwise would mean that he actually has to treat his partner(s) as an equal human being in their own right and he can’t stand that. The narcissism is WILD but so sickening because I’ve seen this play out many-a-time before. I genuinely applaud Nabokov for being able to write such a deplorable abusive narcissist. It’s a hard read, but well crafted. 😭

WOMEN. If your man doesn’t support your education pursuits, RUN. Even if he cites financial reasons which while valid, still isn’t right if he doesn’t offer an alternative education option nor support any research into other options, RUN. The most healthy straight relationships I’ve seen have a man who supports their wife/girlfriend’s own path especially concerning education or furthering her career or just general self development and independence. And if a specific university’s cost is too high? He’s out here researching alternatives and helping her pursue her goals regardless of how some avenues are unattainable. Stay vigilant queens and don’t ever let a man knock your crown off. 💖

“And once a woman gets hit, is she stupid because she doesn’t leave?” Literally yes what point do you think you’re making here

I’m about to say what I believe is a deeply unpopular opinion, but bear with me until the end: I love the miscommunication trope. I know, I know. Some of you are probably gasping and clutching your pearls right now, but hear me out.

I love a good angst moment. That blue, heart-aching, lip-quivering feeling you get when reading something irreconcilably sad. But here’s the thing: I don’t actually like the consequences of it.

Let’s say we’re reading a romance novel. The couple is vibing, they have insane chemistry, we got the meet-cute, the first kisses, the whole shebang, and now we’re approaching one of my favorite parts: the third-act breakup. A staple of the genre. But we need a reason for them to break up, right?

So let’s say one of them cheats. I know. Horrific. But the angst of it all? The heartbreak of the person who got cheated on? The longing and regret of the one who did the cheating? Chef’s kiss.

Except... this is a romance novel. We need the HEA. They have to get back together. But someone CHEATED!!! I hate cheating. I genuinely cannot deal with it. I would never forgive the cheater, even if their partner does. At that point, the novel is probably ruined for me.

Now compare that to miscommunication. No one actually betrayed anyone. There’s just a misunderstanding that spirals because these two idiots refuse to communicate properly. And I know what people think: “Ugh, this is so frustrating. If they would just TALK, everything would be solved.” And that’s true. But that’s exactly why I like it.

We still get the angst, the heartbreak, the longing, the yearning... but without any irredeemable damage. None of the emotional rot that permanently changes the relationship. Everything is still fixable.

That’s what the miscommunication trope is to me: flirting with pain without actually committing to it. I get all the delicious sadness with none of the lingering devastation. Tragedy, but with guardrails. We are talking "safe angst", baby.

Does anyone else feel this way, or am I alone in this?

I'm not a fan of her friend Ramona. EDIT: okay, I FUCKING HATE Ramona.