Alright so… I really struggled with how to rate this book. I have so many questions and critiques of the story, and there are so many plot holes and storylines that make no sense or are unnecessarily convoluted. I often had to just accept something the book told me in order to keep going, and actively turn off the part of my brain saying “wait a minute… that makes no sense.” Despite that, this never felt like a hate read for me or something I was just making myself push through to finish. And I also am planning on getting the third book, to see how the author wraps up the story.

I think the reason I feel so torn is that I really want to enjoy this story. I love the concept of the magic system and I’m a sucker for a book about a magic school, good vs evil magic battle, etc. But I cannot get over the constant thought in my head which only got stronger with the second book which is that this book has been incredibly mis-marketed. This is a mafia romance novel, where the mafia has magic. We speed run past any plausible definition of “morally grey” straight into mafia “us against the world” territory, and that’s just really not in line with the expectations I had going in to this series. I really truly hated the last 15% of book one, enough to take what I thought would be a 5 star read to a 3 for me. And the first 10-15% of this book addressed several plot points that felt like they came from nowhere and I felt a lot better going into the rest of the book than I did when I started.

I think I am ultimately landing on rating this around 2.5 - 3, so for Goodreads I’m giving it a 3. In terms of entertainment, this was probably a 3.5 for me. But in terms of quality/consistency from the characters, this is around a 2 for me. I don’t think there is enough thought put in to who these characters are at their core and why they do what they do, consistently for all of the characters. Auria is a great example of a character that is actually very well done in this regard, and she always acts exactly how you expect her to act (like it or not). I wish that same attention was given to the FMC Saffron. 2 books in and I still don’t have a clear picture of who she really is and what she wants, and so many choices seem to be made just to push the plot along. There’s also some weird pacing going on in this book, where we are told basic world building points all over again as if they’re new to us, but other things are hidden until its convenient with no rhyme or reason.

If you like mafia romances and something more clearly on the dark side of things than just morally grey dilemmas, then you might really enjoy this book. I’m mourning the potential that the series had for me based on what I hoped for going in. Once I let go of that, it turned out to be an alright read for me. Thank you to Netgalley, the publisher, and the author for the eARC.

I don't generally like rating memoirs, so not putting stars on this one. Listening to this after her passing puts a very different perspective on things, and I mourn the loss of someone who clearly was really trying to figure out who they are/want to be, and coming to terms with their life so far. I wish she'd had more time to figure it out even more.