This book was absolutely messy, chaotic and insta love at its finest. What the hell did I just read ? As much as I love Ashley poston‘s books and this series as well ( since I’ve read book 1&3 already ) this was NOT IT.

Maybe let me start with the cover. I thought this book was purely a sapphic romance, which ( turned out ) wasn’t. I thought that this book was an enemies to lovers romance between Jess & Imogen and honestly it took me so long to grasp it. I was so confused the whole time why both of them didn’t have any scenes together but at some point it finally made sense. I would’ve loved them as a couple but that’s probably just me.

I really don’t get the CANON couples. Especially Ethan and Imogen. They were FIGHTING for 3 days straight and suddenly they liked each other ?? Not to mention that this was also an insta love romance between them. About Harper & Jess I have nothing much to say either but i definitely liked their romance more than the other one. They actually talked, shared some happy moments with each other but also how can they fall in love with each other within 3 days ???

Next on my list are the constant HP references. Yes I get that this book was written in 2019 but god is it really not possible to CHANGE it ?? At least in newer copies of this book because damn it was so annoying to read it. At least they stopped at some point but god do I hate Harry Potter and jk Rowling. They have no place in books, especially in queer ones.

Furthermore I really struggled with the characters as well. Jess is throughout the story a mean girl that would totally bully people who don’t fit into the "normal“ category. She doesn’t get fandoms and it hurt my soul to read it. Then suddenly she started to change her my mind and I‘m still wondering what caused it to change her opinion on fandoms ?? Out of nowhere she started to appreciate the fans AND THE ROLE that she HATED to play the whole time ?? Next is Imogen who also was a really annoying character. First of all she ran into Ethan and spilled coffee all over him and got mad at him for idk how long ?? But it was her fault and then kept proceeding fighting him for whatever reason ?? Second of all the way she just left Harper alone. She didn’t even meet her at that day since she played imposter for Jess. Like bffr girl saving Amara can’t be that important to let your friends down ugh.

The thing is I do appreciated the story in a kind of way since it shows the love for fandoms. But the story was just way too chaotic and not well written. I’m a huge fan of conventions myself and tbh why are the actors are running around completely FREELY WITHOUT BODYGUARDS??? At ALL TIMES. Also can we talk about that Imogen pretended to be Jess at meet and greets and photo ops ?? Fans bought TICKETS FOR THAT. ISTG if I ever went to a con to meet the spn cast for example and some Jensen ackles imposter would do the photo ops I’d be pretty pissed.

Mentioning SPN here’s the only good part about the book. I really love when SPN gets mentioned in books and I also absolutely loved this quote :

"Just because there’s a script doesn’t mean the fate of the character can’t change. Like Agent Coulson in the MCU! Darth Maul in Star Wars! Spike in Buffy! Freaking angel Castiel in Supernatural!"

Oh how I love fandoms. Because the fans are definitely able to change the fates of the characters through their own fanfics, fanarts & ideas. But overall this book didn’t work for me.

I would’ve never picked up this book without a recommendation but here I am now (2am, super tired, originally wanting only to reach page 200 but instead I finished the whole book ) and I’m so grateful for listening to that recommendation.

I have to admit that I quite enjoyed the first half definitely better because the last half dragged on and was SO slow paced i almost couldn’t bear it anymore. And slow burn is definitely one of my all time favorite tropes.

But god did I love how the author handled grief & loss of a loved one in this book. Lenny recently lost her best friend Lou to cancer and has been struggling ever since to come to terms with that but also to keep living in world without her. The way she couldn’t step a foot into the apartment ( which she shared with Lou ) because everything kept reminding her of Lou, the way she got lost in grief, not being able to take care of herself anymore reminded me & my own thoughts so much.

The book raises the question how we’re supposed to deal with death and it’s a question that I’ve been asking myself since I was young since no one can conquer it. It showed how grief can take over our life but that it will get better again. It won’t fade but it’ll become a quiet but constant companion for the rest of our life‘s.

And thankfully Lenny found Miles who helped her in the right moment because she was fully lost. I absolutely adored the friendship to lovers trope because the author definitely took her time to develop the friendship first and slowly changed into a romance later on! What a fantastic read I loved it so much.

I literally can’t put into words what I just read.

The concept of Dana having to rescue her ancestor Rufus while having to travel back in time to 1815 where slavery in the US was going on to save herself, was absolutely horrifying to read and each time she travelled back more horrendous things happened.

The thing is the concept kind of didn’t make any sense to me since Rufus was already dead since she traveled back in time all the time to save her & her ancestors from not being born due to Rufus almost dying several times. But she was born anyway so why did the time traveling start regardless?

Putting this criticism aside, this book showed the slavery of black people in the US back in 1815 with the FMC Dana being thrown into it due to having to rescue her ancestor all the time. It is a heartbreaking story loaded with complex relationships & with characters that deserved so much better. Furthermore the book has only 295 pages but it felt steady paced all the time which was so unexpected since shorter books tend to be very fast paced. Especially in these times with fascism on the rise we all need a reminder to be human to each other, to be kind to each other and not follow white men who think they own the whole world. This book shows what humans already did once and it’s a wake up call to learn from history.

Overall a great read and I feel like this should be read and discussed in schools! Would’ve loved to read this in school!