after my friends pressured me to read this, i finally gave in

okay i'm going to get a bit sentimental here, but this author's note alone has already awoken something in me.

space was very much my special interest as a child, and for years, i dreamed of working for NASA, but as time went on, and i got older, science felt more like an obligation for me to like, and i started doing it for others and not for myself. since i started taking subjects i wanted to, i've kind of suppressed my love for space, maybe in trying to take back that control i felt i'd lost when i started doing science because it was what people expected of me.

but all through COVID, star-gazing was what kept me sane. i was 13 and shut at home and miserable. something in TJR's author's note has put into words exactly why that was so important to me. every night, i would go out and look for orion's belt, and then the summer triangle. it was a physical symbol of time passing, but also something that felt constant and safe. spotting venus has also always been very special to me, as that has just always been my favourite planet, and it's not super easy to spot from my garden because of where it tends to sit in the sky.

i think this is going to be a difficult read in such a special way. is reading this at a key transitional point in my life a mistake? maybe, but here we go.

okay wait why do i kind of love miles??? i really hope he explains at some point more so why he didn't tip the waiter, but i think his response to lenny talking about losing lou was PERFECT. no "i'm sorry" or "oh that sucks" - the empty platitudes - but instead the way he instantly just asks "what was her name?" like ugh, go away, leave me alone.

Currently wandering why I only gave it 4 stars when I remember it as heaven with a pretty bow. I guess I gotta reread it.....so sad