I feel really bad that this has been the definitive biography of Sally Ride. Sherr overstates and overemphasizes her relationship with Ride, which is irritating. But she uses that to state, over and over again, how surprised she is that Ride never told her specifically about her romantic relationship. Maybe you're not as chill and open as you think you are Sherr?

Of course, culture has changed rapidly from when this book was first published, but I also couldn't believe the outdated language Sherr was using to describe not only Ride, but just people in general. An Asian American person was referred to as "Oriental," and if people weren't referred to as gay, they were called homosexuals or hedged as having alternative lifestyles. Middle class upbringing and lifestyle was also frequently pitched as the antithesis to a "homosexual lifestyle." It wasn't in an overtly bigoted way, but the result is still there, that middle class and being gay are binary things that cannot coexist. While this may not have been the bulk of the book, it cropped up enough that I was annoyed more than I was paying attention to the details of Ride's life.

I think this highlights the importance of Own Voices, not just when it comes to fiction, but when it comes to history and biographies as well. Sherr had interviewed Ride previously and they had spent some time together, them and their spouses. But clearly Sherr wasn't a close enough friend to be trusted with all of Ride's identity. Not only that, but what insight can Sherr provide to the life of a woman who felt the need to keep that identity so private? Why delve into it at all when Ride likely would not be comfortable with it?

This was most evident towards the end, when Sherr details the sadness and anger many in the LGBTQ+ community felt at learning that Ride had been closeted until her death. I don't want to hear a straight/cis person's opinion on the nuances of being closeted and the grief of a community still marginalized, despite marriage equality passing. She doesn't understand why it's a natural reaction for other LGBTQ+ folks to be upset that there was this incredible icon and powerful voice that could have been lent to the fight for equality. There's just a lot there to unpack that isn't, it's okay or not okay and Sherr is not the one to do that.

She also kept referring to Ride as gay, even though Ride herself was never comfortable with a specific label. It was a bit irksome because Ride had relationships with men and women, so it felt very inaccurate. Again, I think this aspect would have been not so much a sticking point if the author had a better understanding of not just the community, but gender and sexual orientation in general.

So beyond ALL THAT, Sherr is also bad at paring down to the necessary details. She begins with Ride's grandparents and great-grandparents, which feels like an elementary school essay approach. I don't need to know and I definitely don't really care where Ride's ancestors hailed from. The best parts of the book were nearer the end before Ride's death, when she goes into Ride's work trying to highlight and end the stupid gender biases that take root in young girls. Ride discussed the inane comments that parents and teachers make that can have a lasting impact at turning girls off from math and science because it's not widely accepted culturally. There was a great part where Ride would talk to kids about what scientists were actually like, dispelling the myth that they were all loner men hiding in dark basements with no appreciation for art and creativity. That's really cool and powerful and still relevant today!

Overall, I really wouldn't recommend this. Sherr inserts herself a lot and is clearly thinks that, because she is cool with gay people existing, she has no biases included in her writing. But she does! Hopefully someone from the LGBTQ+ community writers something about Ride in the future, because this just left the worst taste in my mouth.