Lemony Snicket
Lemony Snicket had an unusual education and a perplexing youth and now endures a despondent adulthood. His previous published works include the thirteen volumes in A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Composer is Dead, and 13 Words. His new series is All The Wrong Questions.For A Series of Unfortunate Events:www.lemonysnicket.comFor All The Wrong Questions:www.lemonysnicketlibrary.com
The Penultimate Peril (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #12)
Lemony Snicket
Dear Reader,If this is the first book you found while searching for a book to read next, then the first thing you should know is that this next-to-last book is what you should put down first. Sadly, this book presents the next-to-last chronicle of the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, and it is next-to-first in its supply of misery, despair, and unpleasantness.Probably the next-to-last thing you would like to read about are a harpoon gun, a rooftop sunbathing salon, two mysterious initials, three unidentified triplets, a notorious villain, and an unsavory curry.Next-to-last things are the first thing to be avoided, and so allow me to recommend that you put this next-to-last book down first, and find something else to read next at last, such as the next-to-last book in another chronicle, or a chronicle containing other next-to-last things, so that this next-to-last book does not become the last book you will read.With all due respect,Lemony Snicket
The Slippery Slope (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #10)
Lemony Snicket
Dear Reader,Like handshakes, house pets, or raw carrots, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up--and down--a range of strange and distressing mountains.In order to spare you any further repulsion, it would be best not to mention any of the unpleasant details of this story, particularly a secret message, a toboggan, a deceitful map, a swarm of snow gnats, a scheming villain, a troupe of organized youngsters, a covered casserole dish, and a surprising survivor of a terrible fire.Unfortunately, I have dedicated my life to researching and recording the sad tale of the Baudelaire orphans. There is no reason for you to dedicate your-self to such things, and you might instead dedicate yourself to letting this slippery book slip from your hands into a nearby trash receptacle, or deep pit.With all due respect,Lemony Snicket
The Miserable Mill (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #4)
Lemony Snicket
Dear Reader,
I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log.
The pages of this book, I'm sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons.
I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven't, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
The Dark
Lemony Snicket
Laszlo is afraid of the dark. The dark is not afraid of Laszlo.
Laszlo lives in a house. The dark lives in the basement.
One night, the dark comes upstairs to Laszlo's room, and Laszlo goes down to the basement.
This is the story of how Laszlo stops being afraid of the dark.
The Beatrice Letters
Lemony Snicket
Top secret—only for readers deeply interested in the Baudelaire case. How I pity these readers. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket
The Wide Window (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #3)
Lemony Snicket
Dear Reader,
If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted; but their lives, I am sorry to say, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and this one may be the worst of them all. If you haven't got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, a signalling device, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible villain, and a doll named Pretty Penny, then this book will probably fill you with despair. I will continue to record these tragic tales, for that is what I do. You, however, should decide for yourself whether you can possibly endure this miserable story.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
Who Could That Be at This Hour? (All the Wrong Questions, #1)
Lemony Snicket
The adventure began in a fading town. Far from anyone he knew or trusted, a young Lemony Snicket started an apprenticeship for a secret organization shrouded in mystery and secrecy. He asked questions that shouldn't have been on his mind. Now he has written an account that should not be published that shouldn't be read. Not even by you. Seriously, we recommend that you do NOT ask your parents for this, the first book in his new ALL THE WRONG QUESTIONS series.Lemony Snicket, in case you don't already know, grew up to be the author of A Series of Unfortunate Events series.
Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography
Lemony Snicket
A Warning from the Publisher:
Many readers have questions about Lemony Snicket, author of the distressing serial concerning the trials of the charming but unlucky Baudelaire orphans, published under the collective title A Series of Unfortunate Events. Before purchasing, borrowing, or stealing this book, you should be aware that it contains the answers to some of those questions, such as the following:
1. Who is Lemony?
2. Is there a secret organization I should know about?
3. Why does Lemony Snicket spend his time researching and writing distressing books concerning the Baudelaire orphans?
4. Why do all of Lemony Snicket's books contain a sad dedication to a woman named Beatrice?
5. If there's nothing out there, what was that noise?
Our advice to you is that you find a book that answers less upsetting questions than this one. Perhaps your librarian, bookseller, or parole officer can recommend a book that answers the question, "Aren't ponies adorable?"
The End (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #13)
Lemony Snicket
The last volume of the fabulously popular A Series of Unfortunate Events series, in which the history of the Baudelaire orphans is brought to its end.
You are presumably looking at the back of this book, or the end of the end. The end of the end is the best place to begin the end, because if you read the end from the beginning of the beginning of the end to the end of the end of the end, you will arrive at the end of the end of your rope.
This book is the last in A Series of Unfortunate Events, and even if you braved the previous twelve volumes, you probably can't stand such unpleasantries as a fearsome storm, a suspicious beverage, a herd of wild sheep, an enormous bird cage, and a truly haunting secret about the Baudelaire parents.
It has been my solemn occupation to complete the history of the Baudelaire orphans, and at last I am finished. You likely have some other occupation, so if I were you I would drop this book at once, so the end does not finish you.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
The Grim Grotto (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #11)
Lemony Snicket
Dear Reader,
Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mildew, you probably prefer not to be damp. You might also prefer not to read this book, in which the Baudelaire siblings encounter an unpleasant amount of dampness as they descend into the depths of despair, underwater.
In fact, the horrors they encounter are too numerous to list, and you wouldn't want me even to mention the worst of it, which includes mushrooms, a desperate search for something lost, a mechanical monster, a distressing message from a lost friend, and tap dancing.
As a dedicated author who has pledged to keep recording the depressing story of the Baudelaires, I must continue to delve deep into the cavernous depths of the orphans' lives. You, on the other hand, may delve into some happier book in order to keep your eyes and your spirits from being dampened.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
The Hostile Hospital (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #8)
Lemony Snicket
There is nothing to be found in the pages of these books but misery and despair. You still have time to choose something else to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on...The Hostile Hospital - There are many pleasant things to read about, but this book contains none of them. Within its pages are such burdensome details as a suspicious shopkeeper, unnecessary surgery, heartshaped balloons, and some very starling news about a fire. Clearly you do not want to read about such things.
The Ersatz Elevator (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #6)
Lemony Snicket
Dear Reader,If you have just picked up this book, then it is not too late to put it back down. Like the previous books in A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, there is nothing to be found in these pages but misery, despair, and discomfort, and you still have time to choose something else to read.Within the chapters of this story, Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire encounter a darkened staircase, a red herring, some friends in a dire situation, three mysterious initials, a liar with an evil scheme, a secret passageway, and parsley soda.I have sworn to write down these tales of the Baudelaire orphans so the general public will know each terrible thing that has happened to them, but if you decide to read something else instead, you will save yourself from a heapful of horror and woe.With all due respect,Lemony Snicket
The Vile Village (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #7)
Lemony Snicket
Dear Reader,
You have undoubtedly picked up this book by mistake, so please put it down. Nobody in their right mind would read this particular book about the lives of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each dismal moment of their stay in the village of V.F.D. has been faithfully and dreadfully recorded in these pages. I can think of no single reason why anyone would want to open a book containing such unpleasant matters as migrating crows, an angry mob, a newspaper headline, the arrest of innocent people, the Deluxe Cell, and some very strange hats. It is my solemn and sacred occupation to research each detail of the Baudelaire children's lives and write them all down, but you may prefer to do some other solemn and sacred thing, such as reading another book instead.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
The Austere Academy (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #5)
Lemony Snicket
Dear Reader,
If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school. Don't. For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives.
Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S.O.R.E., and the metric system.
It is my solemn duty to stay up all night researching and writing the history of these three hapless youngsters, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably choose some other book.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
The Reptile Room (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #2)
Lemony Snicket
Dear Reader,
If you have picked up this book with the hope of finding a simple and cheery tale, I'm afraid you have picked up the wrong book altogether. The story may seem cheery at first, when the Baudelaire children spend time in the company of some interesting reptiles and a giddy uncle, but don't be fooled. If you know anything at all about the unlucky Baudelaire children, you already know that even pleasant events lead down the same road to misery.
In fact, within the pages you now hold in your hands, the three siblings endure a car accident, a terrible odor, a deadly serpent, a long knife, a large brass reading lamp, and the appearance of a person they'd hoped never to see again.
I am bound to record these tragic events, but you are free to put this book back on the shelf and seek something lighter.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
The Bad Beginning (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #1)
Lemony Snicket
Dear Reader,
I'm sorry to say that the book you are holding in your hands is extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. From the very first page of this book when the children are at the beach and receive terrible news, continuing on through the entire story, disaster lurks at their heels. One might say they are magnets for misfortune.
In this short book alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast.
It is my sad duty to write down these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from putting this book down at once and reading something happy, if you prefer that sort of thing.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
The Carnivorous Carnival (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #9)
Lemony Snicket
Dear reader,
The word "carnivorous," which appears in the title of this book, means "meat-eating," and once you have read such a bloodthirsty word, there is no reason to read any further. This carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal.
To avoid causing discomfort, it would be best if I didn't mention any of the unnerving ingredients of this story, particularly a confusing map, an ambidextrous person, an unruly crowd, a wooden plank, and Chabo the Wolf Baby.
Sadly for me, my time is filled with researching and recording the displeasing and disenchanting lives of the Baudelaire orphans. But your time might be better filled with something more palatable, such as eating your vegetables, or feeding them to someone else.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
Den skjulte sjakten (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #6)
Lemony Snicket
Baudelaire-barna har fått nye fosterforeldre, men snart finner de en mørk trapp, et falskt spor, noen venner i uheldige omstendigheter, tre mystiske initialer, en løgner med onde hensikter, en hemmelig gang og persillebrus.
Den grusomme grotten (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #11)
Lemony Snicket
Kjære leser,
Hvis du ikke er en snegl, en sjøanemone eller mugg, vil du sannsynligvis foretrekke tørre omgivelser. Du vil også foretrekke ikke å lese denne boken, der Baudelaire-søsknene møter ubehagelig mye fuktighet når de trenger seg ned til fortvilelsens dyp under vann.
De skrekkelige tingene de får oppleve, er altfor mange til å nevne her, og du vil helt sikkert slippe å vite noe om de aller verste, blant dem sopp, desperat leting etter noe tapt, et mekanisk monster, en opprivende melding fra en savnet venn og steppdansing.
Jeg har som forfatter sverget på å skrive ned hele den dystre historien om Baudelaire-barna, og må fortsette å trenge ned i de mørke hullene i barnas liv. Du derimot kan trenge deg inn i muntre bøker og slik unngå å fukte dine øyne og din sjel.
Med all ønskelig respekt
Lemony Snicket
A Series of Unfortunate Events Collection #1-3 with Bonus Material: The Bad Beginning, The Reptile Room, The Wide Window (A Series of Unfortunate Events Boxset)
Lemony Snicket
Lemony Snicket’s unhappy tale of the unlucky Baudelaire siblings begins with The Bad Beginning. In this short bothersome book alone, the three orphans encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast.Should you not mind deadly serpents, slippery salamanders, lumpy beds, large brass reading lamps, long knives, and terrible odors, then proceed with caution to the second book in the miserable series, The Reptile Room.Readers unbothered by inclement weather, hungry leeches, and cold cucumber soup will want to continue with the third installment, The Wide Window. Others will not.If you’ve got the stomach to wade through the first three tragic tales in Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events, then this troubling collection might be the one for you. Several loathsome extras, including a compilation of unsettling quotations and a very disturbing portrait, await those who successfully complete the wretched journey. You’ve been warned!
Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid
Lemony Snicket
Lemony Snicket's work is filled with bitter truths, 'It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself.' 'It is very easy to say that the important thing is to try your best, but if you are in real trouble the most important thing is not trying your best, but getting to safety.' For all of life's ups and downs, its celebrations and its sorrows, here is a book to commemorate it all – especially for those not fully soothed by chicken soup. Witty and irreverent, Horseradish is a book with universal appeal, a delightful vehicle to introduce Snicket's uproariously unhappy observations to a crowd not yet familiar with the Baudelaires' misadventures.
The Lump of Coal
Lemony Snicket
This is a story about a lump of coal who can think, talk, and move itself around.
Is there a more charming holiday tale to behold? Probably, but Lemony Snicket has not written one.
13 Words
Lemony Snicket
13 1. Bird
2. Despondent
3. Cake
4. Dog
5. Busy
6. Convertible
7. Goat
8. Hat
9. Haberdashery
10. Scarlet
11. Baby
12. Panache
13. Mezzo-Soprano
Goldfish Ghost
Lemony Snicket
Goldfish Ghost was born on the surface of the water in the bowl on a dresser in a boy's room. The boy's room was pleasant and familiar, but Goldfish Ghost wanted company, so he set out to find a friend.
He floats over the neighborhood, past the pier, and let the breeze carry him into town where he discovers that not many people pay attention to goldfish ghosts.
Off he floats, searching for the perfect home and the perfect friend...
and then he hears a voice...
Why Is This Night Different from All Other Nights? (All the Wrong Questions, #4)
Lemony Snicket
Train travel! Murder! Librarians! A Series Finale!
On all other nights, the train departs from Stain'd Station and travels to the city without stopping. But not tonight. You might ask, why is this night different from all other nights? But that's the wrong question. Instead ask, where is this all heading? And what happens at the end of the line? The final book in Lemony Snicket's bestselling series, All The Wrong Questions.
The Notorious Notations
Lemony Snicket
Dear Reader, Like most fugitives who have vowed to investigate the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, I have always found a book to be invaluable in my research. The book you hold in your hands can be thrown into the mouth of a charging rhinoceros, placed underneath the leg of a wobbly table, or used to write down any number of valuable observations, such as the following: - My sister is driving me stark raving mad. - That waiter appears to be an associate of a notorious villain. and/or - My pen is running out of i Almost every page in this book includes shocking illustrations and unsettling quotations from A Series of Unfortunate Events. In their company, even the most harmless notations will become notorious, a word which here means "commonly and sadly perceived to be of shadowy and somewhat sinister importance, such as my own work on the Baudelaire case, from which you should distance yourself immediately and permanently." With all due respect, Lemony Snicket
29 Myths on the Swinster Pharmacy
Lemony Snicket
We are very curious about the Swinster Pharmacy. We stay up late every night wondering what sort of eerie secrets it contains. Why are there three Styrofoam heads in the windows? Who is the owner? Is it really closed on weekends? Renowned investigator Lemony Snicket has compiled 29 myths about this bewildering establishment, in the vain hope that he could help us shine some light on this enduring mystery.
The Bad Mood and the Stick
Lemony Snicket
Lemony Snicket sheds light on the way bad moods come and go.Once there was a bad mood and a stick. The stick appeared when a tree dropped it. Where did the bad mood come from? Who picked up the stick? And where is the bad mood off to now? You never know what is going to happen.
Shouldn't You Be in School? (All the Wrong Questions, #3)
Lemony Snicket
Is Lemony Snicket a detective or a smoke detector?
Do you smell smoke? Young apprentice Lemony Snicket is investigating a case of arson but soon finds himself enveloped in the ever-increasing mystery that haunts the town of Stain'd-by-the-Sea. Who is setting the fires? What secrets are hidden in the Department of Education? Why are so many schoolchildren in danger? Is it all the work of the notorious villain Hangfire? How could you even ask that? What kind of education have you had?
Maybe you should be in school?
File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents (All the Wrong Questions, #2.5)
Lemony Snicket
Match wits with Lemony Snicket to solve thirteen mini-mysteries.Paintings have been falling off of walls, a loud and loyal dog has gone missing, a specter has been seen walking the pier at midnight -- strange things are happening all over the town of Stain'd-By-The-Sea. Called upon to investigate thirteen suspicious incidents, young Lemony Snicket collects clues, questions witnesses, and cracks every case. Join the investigation and tackle the mysteries alongside Snicket, then turn to the back of the book to see the solution revealed.
A delicious read that welcomes readers into Lemony Snicket's world of deep mystery, mysterious depth, deductive reasoning, and reasonable deductions.
When Did You See Her Last? (All the Wrong Questions, #2)
Lemony Snicket
I should have asked the question "How could someone who was missing be in two places at once?" Instead, I asked the wrong question -- four wrong questions, more or less. This is the account of the second.
In the fading town of Stain'd-by-the-Sea, young apprentice Lemony Snicket has a new case to solve when he and his chaperone are hired to find a missing girl. Is the girl a runaway? Or was she kidnapped? Was she seen last at the grocery store? Or could she have stopped at the diner? Is it really any of your business? These are All The Wrong Questions.
Poison for Breakfast
Lemony Snicket
For more than twenty years, Lemony Snicket has led millions of young readers through a mysterious world of bewildering questions and unfortunate events. With this latest book—a love letter to readers young and old about the vagaries of real life—longtime fans and new readers alike will experience Snicket’s distinctive voice in a new way.
This true story—as true as Lemony Snicket himself—begins with a puzzling note under his door: You had poison for breakfast. Following a winding trail of clues to solve the mystery of his own demise, Snicket takes us on a thought-provoking tour of his predilections: the proper way to prepare an egg, a perplexing idea called “tzimtzum,” the sublime pleasure of swimming in open water, and much else.
Poison for Breakfast is a classic-in-the-making that—in the great tradition of modern fables like The Little Prince and The Phantom Tollbooth—will delight readers of all ages.
The Complete Wreck (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Books 1-13)
Lemony Snicket
Some boxes should never be opened.
For the first time, the complete A Series of Unfortunate Events is available in one awful package!
We can't keep you from succumbing to this international bestselling phenomenon, but we can hide all thirteen books in a huge, elaborately illustrated, shrink-wrapped box, perfect for filling an empty shelf or deep hole.
From The Bad Beginning to The End, this box set, adorned with Brett Helquist art from front to back, is the only choice for people who simply cannot get enough of a bad thing!
Το αχρείο χωριό (Μία σειρά από ατυχή γεγονότα, #7)
Lemony Snicket
Το ορφανά καταφέρνουν να ξεφύγουν από τον Κόμη Όλαφ, όχι όμως και οι φίλοι τους, τα τρίδυμα Βάλτου. Στην προσπάθειά τους να τους σώσουν, φτάνουν στην Επαρχία Αρπακτικών Πτηνών. Και οι δολοπλοκίες αρχίζουν...
Πότε ήταν η τελευταία φορά που την είδατε; (Όλες οι λάθος ερωτήσεις #2)
Lemony Snicket
I should have asked the question "How could someone who was missing be in two places at once?" Instead, I asked the wrong question -- four wrong questions, more or less. This is the account of the second.
In the fading town of Stain'd-by-the-Sea, young apprentice Lemony Snicket has a new case to solve when he and his chaperone are hired to find a missing girl. Is the girl a runaway? Or was she kidnapped? Was she seen last at the grocery store? Or could she have stopped at the diner? Is it really any of your business? These are All The Wrong Questions.
El Hospital Hostil (Una Serie de Catastróficas Desdichas, #8)
Lemony Snicket
There is nothing to be found in the pages of these books but misery and despair. You still have time to choose something else to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on...The Hostile Hospital - There are many pleasant things to read about, but this book contains none of them. Within its pages are such burdensome details as a suspicious shopkeeper, unnecessary surgery, heartshaped balloons, and some very startling news about a fire. Clearly you do not want to read about such things.
El aserradero lúgubre (Una serie de catastróficas desdichas, #4)
Lemony Snicket
Book 4 of A Series of Unfortunate Events . Orphans Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire have yet to find a guardian they can live with and, after the disasters that occurred during their last living arrangement, they are now headed for a lumber mill in the town of Paltryville located just beyond the gloomy, black Finite Forest.
The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming: A Christmas Story
Lemony Snicket
Latkes are potato pancakes served at Hanukah. Lemony Snicket is an alleged children’s author. For the first time in literary history, these two elements are combined in one book. People who are interested in either or both of these things will find this book so enjoyable it will feel as if Hanukah is being celebrated for several years, rather than eight nights.
The Hostile Hospital: Book the Eighth (A Series of Unfortunate Events)
Lemony Snicket
Dear Listener,
This audio is the only one which describes every last detail of the Baudelaire children's miserable stay at Heimlich Hospital, which makes it one of the most dreadful audios in the world.
There are many pleasant things to listen to, but this audio contains not one of them. Within it are such gruesome details as a suspicious shopkeeper, unnecessary surgery, anesthesia, heart-shaped balloons, and some very startling news about a fire. Clearly you do not want to hear about such things.
I also shouldn't mention the interactive features of the CD, which include:
A perplexing word game - Photos from The Lemony Snicket Archives - Art from The Brett Helquist gallery
I have sworn to research and record this story as best I can, so I should know that this audio is something best left on the ground, where you undoubtedly found it.
With all due respect, Lemony Snicket
A Series of Unfortunate Events #8: The Hostile Hospital
Lemony Snicket
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
The Baudelaires need a safe place to stay—somewhere far away from terrible villains and local police. A quiet refuge where misfortune never visits. Might Heimlich Hospital be just the place?
In Lemony Snicket's eighth ghastly installment in A Series of Unfortunate Events, I'm sorry to say that the Baudelaire orphans will spend time in a hospital where they risk encountering a misleading newspaper headline, unnecessary surgery, an intercom system, anesthesia, heart-shaped balloons, and some very startling news about a fire.
Το ψεύτικο ασανσέρ (Μία σειρά από ατυχή γεγονότα, #6)
Lemony Snicket
Αγαπητέ αναγνώστη, Αν έχεις μόλις πάρει στα χέρια σου αυτό το βιβλίο, τότε δεν είναι πολύ αργά να το αφήσεις. Όπως και στα προηγούμενα βιβλία "Μιάς σειράς από ατυχή γεγονότα", δε θα βρεις τίποτε άλλο σε αυτές τις σελίδες, παρά μόνο δυστυχία, απόγνωση και βάσανα, οπότε έχεις ακόμα χρόνο να επιλέξεις κάτι άλλο να διαβάσεις. Στα κεφάλαια αυτής της ιστορίας, η Βάιολετ, ο Κλάους και η Σάνι Μποντλέρ συναντούν μια σκοτεινή σκάλα, ένα κόκκινο ψάρι, μερικούς φίλους σε τραγική κατάσταση, τρία μυστηριώδη αρχικά, έναν ψεύτη με σατανικό σχέδιο, ένα μυστικό πέρασμα και αρκετή μαϊντανόσοδα. Με εκτίμηση, Λέμονι Σνίκετ.
Το δωμάτιο με τα ερπετά (Μία σειρά από ατυχή γεγονότα #2) (A Series of Unfortunate Events #2)
Lemony Snicket
Σε αυτό το βιβλίο, τα ορφανά Μποντλέρ, Βάιολετ, Κλάους και Σάνι, είναι κάτω από την κηδεμονία του Ερπετολόγου Δρ Μοντγκόμερι Μοντγκόμερι, ή αλλιώς Θείος Μόντι.
Αφού περνούν λίγες ευχάριστες στιγμές με τον καλόκαρδο θείο Μόντι κάνει την επανεμφάνισή του στις ζωές τους ο Κόμης Όλαφ μεταμφιεσμένος ως ο νέος επιστάτης του θείου Μόντι, Στεφάνο, με σκοπό να τους πάρει την περιουσία.
Read Something Else: Collected & Dubious Wit & Wisdom of
Lemony Snicket
Looking for wit, wisdom, and inspiration all within the pages of one useful book? Read Something Else.
Life is a turbulent journey, fraught with confusion, heartbreak, and inconvenience. This collection of wit and wisdom from New York Times bestselling author Lemony Snicket is unlikely to help.
It includes a new introduction filled with curious aphorisms, a handful of never-before-seen-or-heard quotations, and fan favorites from works over the years. These dubious offerings, collected from Snicket’s books, unpublished papers, and more, have been made pleasing to the eye by illustrations, select fan art, and design flourishes.
A Series of Unfortunate Events #3: The Wide Window
Lemony Snicket
If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but their lives, I am sorry to say, are filled with bad luck and misery.
All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and this one may be the worst of them all. If you haven't got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, a signalling device, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible villain, and a doll named Pretty Penny, then this book will probably fill you with despair. I will continue to record these tragic tales, for that is what I do. You, however, should decide for yourself whether you can possibly endure this miserable story.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
A Series of Unfortunate Events #4
Lemony Snicket
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet.
Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log. The pages of this book, I'm sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons. I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven't, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
Un infausto inizio (Una serie di sfortunati eventi, #1)
Lemony Snicket
Cari lettori,
gli orfani Baudelaire sono graziosi e intelligenti, ma la loro vita, mi spiace dirlo, è piena di sfortuna. Se non sopportate storie contenenti uragani, vestiti che pungono, zuppe di cetriolo fredde, individui repellenti, allora questi libri vi getteranno nel più totale sconforto. È mio triste dovere stare sveglio di notte a indagare su questi tre sventurati giovani, ma se voi preferite dormire sonno tranquilli, vi conviene scegliere un altro genere di libro.
Con il dovuto rispetto,
Lemony Snicket
IN QUESTO PRIMO TREMENDO EPISODIO i tre fratelli diventano subito tre orfani, incontrano l’individuo più viscido e malvagio del mondo, rischiano di perdere tutta l'eredità e sono guardati a vista da un uomo con due uncini al posto delle mani. Siete sicuri di volerlo leggere?
En grufull begynnelse (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #1)
Lemony Snicket
Boken forteller den sørgelige historien om tre svært uheldige barn. Til tross for at søsknene Baudelaire både er sjarmerende og oppvakte, er livene deres fylt til randen av sorg og elendighet. Helt fra bokens første sider, da barna befinner seg på stranden og blir overbrakt den forferdeligste nyheten som tenkes kan, og videre gjennom hele historien, blir de rett og slett forfulgt av katastrofer. Å kalle dem ulykkesmagneter er ikke å ta munnen full. De råker ut for en grisk og frastøtende ildgjerningsmann, klesplagg som klør, en forferdelig brann, et renkespill iscenesatt for å lure fra dem formuen og kald grøt til frokost.
Fra bokomslaget
Hvis du liker bøker med lykkelig slutt, er ikke dette boken for deg! Ikke hvis du liker bøker med lykkelig begynnelse eller midtparti heller - fordi det meste som skjer med de tre stakkars Baudelaire-søsknene dessverre er av det jammerlige og råskumle slaget Møt stakkars Violet (14) som er en stor oppfinner og et teknisk geni, Klaus (12) som er lesehest og best på teoretiske spørsmål, samt lille Sunny som er en baby, knapt større enn en støvel, men med fire sylskarpe tenner som kommer godt med når barna skal løse problemer. Og problemer er det mange av her. Alt i den grufulle begynnelsen brenner herregården de har vokst opp i, og med den barnas rike, kloke og snille foreldre. De foreldreløse stakkarene blir plassert hos en fjern slektning ved navn Grev Olaf, en ufyselig råtass og et meget ondt menneske som ikke skyr noen midler for å få fatt i barnas penger.
Den mystiske mølla (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #4)
Lemony Snicket
Dette er den fjerde boken om de foreldreløse Baudelaire-barna, som er snille og intelligente barn, men deres liv er fylt til randen av ulykke og elendighet. Denne historien kommer de stakkars barna ut for ubehageligheter som en enorm pinsettmaskin, en uspiselig gryterett, en mann med en røyksky der ansiktet burde vært, en svikefull hypnotisør, en redselsfull ulykke med blodige følger, og kuponger.
Den skrekkelige skolen (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #5)
Lemony Snicket
De tre foreldreløse barna får endelig lov til å begynne på skolen igjen. Men det går dessverre ikke lang tid før denne etterlengtede opplevelsen forvandles til nok et skrekkelig kapittel i de uheldige søsknenes liv. De råker ut for klypende krabber, strenge straffer, dryppende soppsaft, omfattende eksamener, fryktelige fiolinkonserter, V.O.N.D.T. og det metriske system. Dette er den femte boken i serien Den onde greven.
Slutten (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #13)
Lemony Snicket
Denne boken er den siste i en serie av uheldige hendelser, og selv om du har kjempet deg gjennom de tolv tidligere bøkene, er det langt fra sikkert at du tåler slike ubehageligheter som en forferdelig storm, en mistenkelig drikk, en flokk ville sauer, et kjempestort fuglebur og en uhyggelig hemmelighet som handler om foreldrene til Beaudelaire-barna.
Krypdyrkammeret (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #2)
Lemony Snicket
Denne historien kan virke hyggelig til å begynne med, når Baudelaire-barna tilbringer tid sammen med noen interessante krypdyr og en vimsete onkel, men la deg ikke narre. Hvis du vet noe om de uheldige Baudelaire-barna, så vet du at selv de hyggeligste hendelser bare er midlertidige opphold i ulykken som hjemsøker deres liv. Faktisk er det slik at i løpet av denne boken råker søsknene ut for en bilulykke, en forferdelig stank, en dødsgiftig slange, en lang kniv, en stor messingleselampe og et gjensyn med et menneske de hadde håpet de aldri mer skulle se. Dette er den andre boken i serien Den onde greven.
Iglene i innsjøen (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #3)
Lemony Snicket
Dette er den tredje boken om de foreldreløse Baudelaire-barna, som er snille og intelligente barn, men deres liv er fylt til randen av ulykke og elendighet. Denne historien handler om en orkan, et nødsignal, blodtørstige igler, kald agurksuppe, en hjerteløs skurk og en dukke ved navn søte Siri.
Den beksvarte byen (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #7)
Lemony Snicket
Kjære leser,
du har garantert plukket opp denne boken ved en misforståelse. Vær så snill å legge den fra deg igjen. Ingen som er ved sine fulle fem, leser denne boken om Violet, Klaus og Sunny Baudelaire med viten og vilje, for her beskrives – usminket og usensurert – hvert eneste sørgelige øyeblikk i deres liv i landsbyen V.M.S.
Jeg kan ikke se en eneste grunn til at noen skal åpne en bok som inneholder ubehageligheter som en rasende folkemengde, tusenvis av kråker, en feilaktig og forferdelig avisoverskrift, arrestasjon av uskyldige, Luksuscellen og noen svært underlige hatter.
Det er min hele, fulle og hellige plikt å skrive ned alle detaljene i Baudelaire-barnas ulykksalige liv, men du er i din hele, fulle og hellige rett til å velge noe annet, som å lese en annen bok i stedet.
Med respektfull hilsen
Lemony Snicket
Det horrible hospitalet (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #8)
Lemony Snicket
Omtale Det horrible hospitalet
Kjære leser,
Før du kaster denne forferdelige boken i bakken og løper så langt vekk du bare kan, bør du vite hvorfor. Dette er den eneste boken som forteller alt om Baudelaire-barnas miserable opphold ved Soviro Sykehus, og det gjør dette til en av de grusomste bøkene i verden.
Det finnes mange hyggelige ting å lese om, men ikke i denne boken. Mellom disse permene finner du bare slike ubehageligheter som en mistenksom butikkeier, unødvendig kirurgi, interkomhøyttalere, bedøvelse, hjerteformede ballonger og noen meget oppsiktsvekkende nyheter om en brann. Selvfølgelig har du ikke lyst å lese om denslags.
Jeg har sverget på å komme til bunns i denne historien og skrive den ned etter beste evne. derfor er det ffå som vet like godt som jeg at denne boken helst bør bli liggende på bakken, der du utvilsomt også fant den.
Med respektfull hilsen
Lemony Snicket
Tragedie på tivoli (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #9)
Lemony Snicket
Omtale Tragedie på tivoli
Jakten på sannheten fortsetter. Hvem overlevde brannen da Beaudelaire familiens hus brant ned til grunnen? Violet, Klaus og Sunny kler seg ut og blir artister på et tivoli der Madame Lulu kan se hva som skjedde og hva som kommer til å skje. De er villige til å gå langt for å finne sannheten, men løvemat...Nei de trenger et klart hode, et intelligent hode og munn med skarpe tenner. Barna står sammen. Handlingen fortsetter fra tivoli til fjellene. Grev Olaf kjører videre. Denne gangen med Beaudelaire søsknene i bagasjerommet.
Kjære leser,
Ordet “tragedie” som står på forsiden av denne boken, er ikke til å spøke med. Det er ingen grunn til at du skal gi deg i kast med de blodige begivenhetene som beskrives her. Historien mellom disse permene kan føre til at maven din gjør opprør mot selv det sunneste måltid.
For å unngå alt ubehag er det best jeg ikke nevner noen av de forferdelige ingrediensene i denne historien, og spesielt ikke det forvirrrende kartet, den ambidekstrale mannen, en forferdelig folkemengde, en treplanke og Ulvebarnet Tsjallabo.
Selv er jeg tragisk nok fullt opptatt med å forske videre på de smertefulle og utrivelige hendelsene i Baudelaire-barnas liv. Men du kan fordrive din tid med langt mer behagelige aktiviteter, som å spise grønnsaker eller gi dem til snille dyr.
Med respektfull hilsen
Lemony Snicket
Den frosne fossen (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #10)
Lemony Snicket
Kjære leser,
I likhet med håndtrykk, kjæledyr og rå gulrøtter er det mye som gjør seg best når det ikke er frossent. Dessverre opplever Violet, Klaus og Sunny Baudelaire mer enn nok is og kulde i denne tragiske boken, som handler om deres pinefulle ferd opp - og ned - en underlig og skremmende fjellkjede.
For å spare deg for ytterligere pinsler, ville det være best å ikke si noe om de mange ubehagelige detaljene i denne beretningen, og da tenker jeg spesielt på et hemmelig budskap, en slede, en forræderisk fallgrop, en sverm snømygg, en utspekulert skurk, en gruppe organiserte barn, en gryte med lokk og en overraskende overlevende fra en forferdelig brann.
Tragisk nok har jeg viet mitt liv til å etterforske og beskrive den sørgelige sagaen om de foreldreløse Baudelaire-barna. Det er ingen grunn til at du skal vie deg til tilsvarende sysler, så hvorfor ikke heller vie deg til en langt mer behagelig øvelse og la denne isnende boken skli ut av hendene dine og ned i en søppelkasse eller en bunnløs sjakt.
Med all mulig høyaktelse
Lemony Snicket
Den tolvte trussel (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #12)
Lemony Snicket
Baudelaire-barna sitter i baksetet på en drosje kjørt av en kvinne de knapt vet hvem er. Bilen snor seg gjennom bygatene der de foreldreløse barna en gang har bodd. Violet, Klaus og Sunny Baudelaire stirrer ut av vinduene på bilen og undrer seg over hvor lite byen har forandret seg siden en brann ødela hjemmet deres og tok livet av foreldrene deres. De kjører forbi markedet der de handlet mens de laget middagene for grev Olaf, den beryktede skurken, som var blitt vergen deres etter brannen. Grev Olafs mange onde planer dreide seg imidlertid bare om hvordan han skulle sikre seg den enorme formuen Baudelaire-foreldrene hadde etterlatt seg.
Dette har ført de foreldreløse Baudelaire-barna til mange grusomme steder og sammen med mange skurkaktige mennesker. Og fremdeles vet de ingenting om de farene som ligger foran dem. Men er det skjebnen som styrer dem gjennom denne historien, eller er det noe enda mer mystisk, enda farligere og enda mer uhellsvangert? Skummel og spennende er også denne 12. og nest siste boken i serien DEN ONDE GREVEN.
The Composer Is Dead
Lemony Snicket
There's dreadful news from the symphony hall—the composer is dead!
If you have ever heard an orchestra play, then you know that musicians are most certainly guilty of something. Where exactly were the violins on the night in question? Did anyone see the harp? Is the trumpet protesting a bit too boisterously?
In this perplexing murder mystery, everyone seems to have a motive, everyone has an alibi, and nearly everyone is a musical instrument. But the composer is still dead.
Perhaps you can solve the crime yourself. Join the Inspector as he interrogates all the unusual suspects. Then listen to the accompanying audio recording featuring Lemony Snicket and the music of Nathaniel Stookey performed by the San Francisco Symphony. Hear for yourself exactly what took place on that fateful, well-orchestrated evening.
Mau Começo (Desventuras em Série, #1)
Lemony Snicket
Mau Começo é o primeiro volume de uma série em que Lemony Snicket conta as desventuras dos irmãos Baudelaire. Violet, Klaus e Sunny são encantadores e inteligentes, mas ocupam o primeiro lugar na classificação das pessoas mais infelizes do mundo. De fato, a infelicidade segue os seus passos desde a primeira página, quando eles estão na praia e recebem uma trágica notícia. Esses ímãs que atraem desgraças terão de enfrentar, por exemplo, roupas que pinicam o corpo, um gosmento vilão dominado pela cobiça, um incêndio calamitoso e mingau frio no café da manhã. É por isso que, logo na quarta capa, Snicket avisa ao leitor: "Não há nada que o impeça de fechar o livro imediatamente e sair para uma outra leitura sobre coisas felizes, se é isso que você prefere".
The Trouble Begins: A Box of Unfortunate Events, Books 1-3
Lemony Snicket
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
Lemony Snicket’s unhappy tale of the unlucky Baudelaire siblings begins with The Bad Beginning. In this short bothersome book alone, the three orphans encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast.
Should you not mind deadly serpents, slippery salamanders, lumpy beds, large brass reading lamps, lng knives, and terrible odors, then proceed with caution to the second book in the miserable series, The Reptile Room.
Readers unbothered by inclement weather, hungry leeches, and cold cucumber soup will want to continue with the third installment, The Wide Window. Others will not.
If you’ve got the stomach to wade through the first three tragic tales in Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events, then this troubling collection might be the one for you. Several loathsome extras, including a compilation of unsettling quotations and a very disturbing portrait, await those who successfully complete the wretched journey. You’ve been warned!
A Series of Unfortunate Events #1: The Bad Beginning
Lemony Snicket
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky.
In the first two books alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, a lumpy bed, a deadly serpent, a large brass reading lamp, a long knife, and a terrible odor.
In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Never before has a tale of three likeable and unfortunate children been quite so enchanting, or quite so uproariously unhappy.
A Sala dos Répteis (Desventuras em Série, #2)
Lemony Snicket
Lemony Snicket é um autor que não pode ser acusado de falta de franqueza. Sabe que nem todo mundo suporta as tristezas que ele conta e por isso - para que depois ninguém reclame - faz questão de avisar: "Se você esperava encontrar uma história tranquila e alegre, lamento dizer que escolheu o livro errado. A história pode parecer animadora no início, quando os meninos Baudelaire passam o tempo em companhia de alguns répteis interessantes e de um tio alto-astral, mas não se deixem enganar...". Os Baudelaire têm mesmo uma incrível má sorte, mas pode-se afirmar que a vida deles seria bem mais fácil se não tivessem de enfrentar o tempo todo as armadilhas de seu arquiinimigo: o conde Olaf, um homem revoltante, gosmento e pérfido. Em "Mau Começo" ele deu uma pequena amostra do que é capaz de fazer para infernizar a vida de Violet, Klaus e Sunny Baudelaire - e aqui as coisas só pioram.
O Lago das Sanguessugas (Desventuras em Série, #3)
Lemony Snicket
O misterioso autor das Desventuras em Série não só alcançou a lista de best-sellers infanto-juvenis do New York Times, como conseguiu entrar em todas as outras principais referências de vendagem americanas. Com sua estranha franqueza, na contracapa deste livro ele manda um recado a seus possíveis leitores: Caro leitor,Se você ainda não leu nada sobre os órfãos Baudelaire, é preciso que antes mesmo de começar a primeira frase deste livro fique sabendo o seguinte: Violet, Klaus e Sunny são legais e superinteligentes, mas a vida deles, lamento dizer, está repleta de má sorte e infelicidade. Todas as histórias sobre essas três crianças são uma tristeza e uma verdadeira desgraça, e a que você tem nas mãos talvez seja a pior de todas. Se você não tem estômago para engolir uma história que inclui um furacão, uma invenção para sinalizar pedidos de socorro, sanguessugas famintas, caldo frio de pepinos, um horrendo vilão e uma boneca chamada Perfeita Fortuna, é provável que se desespere ao ler este livro. Continuarei a registrar essas histórias trágicas, pois é o que sei fazer. Cabe a você, no entanto, decidir se verdadeiramente será capaz de suportar esta história de horrores.
Respeitosamente,
Lemony Snicket
Behind the Scenes with Count Olaf (A Series of Unfortunate Events Movie Book)
Lemony Snicket
Are you standing up? Well, you'd better be, because you're about to give a standing ovation!!! Come behind the scenes of the Greatest Film Ever Made with me -- Count Olaf -- the movie's unspeakably dashing writer, director, producer, art director, cameraman, stuntman, set designer, and star! You'll get:
* Rare behind-the-scenes photos of me, looking extremely handsome!
* An absolutely spectacular fire!
* The last moments of several useless extras!
* Top-secret costume designs that could make even orphans look good!
* One of the largest manmade bodies of water ever constructed, with the exception of reservoirs and other artificial lakes!
* Your favorite moments from the film, with candid remarks by me, the moviemaking genius! Other Hollywood hijinx!
If you don't buy this book, you'll regret it. (That's not a joke.) So join Count Olaf -- that's me! -- on this journey through the magical movieland of my mind!
Of course you can have my autograph!
The Reptile Room, The Bad Beginning (2 Books of A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book the first and Book the second)
Lemony Snicket
A Series of Unfortunate The Bad Beginning/The Reptile Room 2-book set
El carnaval carnívoro (Una serie de catastróficas desdichas #9)
Lemony Snicket
Estimado lector,
La palabra "carnívoro", que aparece en el título de este libro, significa "comedor de carne", y una vez que has leído una palabra tan sangrienta, no hay ninguna razón para seguir leyendo nada más. Este carnívoro volumen contiene tal angustiante historia que consumir cualquier parte de su contenido hará que se te revuelva el estómago, incluso más que con la comida más desequilibrada.
Para evitar causar molestias, lo mejor es que no mencione ninguno de los desconcertantes ingredientes de esta historia, sobre todo un mapa confuso, una persona ambidiestra, una multitud incontrolable, una tabla de madera, y a Chabo la Bebé Lobo.
Desafortunadamente para mí, todo mi tiempo está relleno con la investigación y el registro de las desagradables y desencantadas vidas de los huérfanos Baudelaire. Sin embargo, tu tiempo podría estar relleno de mejor manera con algo más apetecible, como comer tus vegetales, o dárselos de comer a alguien más.
Con todos mis respetos,
Lemony Snicket
Ouragan sur le lac (Les désastreuses aventures des Orphelins Baudelaire, #3)
Lemony Snicket
Cher lecteur, il m'en coûte de le dire, mais le livre que voici ne contient rien de réjouissant. Les orphelins Baudelaire, Violette, Klaus et Prunille, sont trois enfants charmants à l'esprit vif et au cœur d'or, mais leur vie n'est qu'une longue série de coups du sort et de calamités. Tous les récits les concernant ont de quoi fendre le cœur, et le présent épisode pourrait bien se révéler le pire de tous. Prudence, donc : pour lire ce livre, mieux vaut être prêt à affronter mille choses déplaisantes dont un ouragan, des sangsues voraces, une jambe de bois, de la soupe de concombres glacée et des cadeaux ratés, sans parler de manuels de grammaire. Pour ma part, il est de mon devoir de relater ces tragiques événements ; à toi, lecteur, de décider si tu te sens de force à les lire. Avec mes sentiments respectueux, Lemony Snicket.
Le Laboratoire aux serpents (Les désatreuses aventures des Orphelins Baudelaire, #2)
Lemony Snicket
Dans ce deuxième épisode, les orphelins sont confiés à un cousin chaleureux et sympathique qui exerce une bien curieuse activité : il étudie les serpents. Mais l'horrible Conte Olaf n'a pas abandonné la partie, et les enfants vont à nouveau aller de malchance en catastrophes...
Tout commence mal... (Les désastreuses Aventures des Orphelins Baudelaire, #1)
Lemony Snicket
Cher Lecteur,
Je regrette fort de devoir le dire, mais le livre que voici ne contient rien de plaisant. Il raconte la triste histoire de trois enfants qui ont toutes les déveines et collectionnent les calamités. Dans ce seul volume, ils vont affronter un sinistre personnage, de hideux habits qui grattent, un épouvantable incendie, un complot pour dérober leur héritage et de la bouillie froide au petit déjeuner. Pour ma part, je me suis fait un devoir de relater ces funestes épisodes, mais rien ne t'interdit, cher lecteur, de remettre ce livre où tu l'as pris et d'en choisir un plus joyeux.
Avec mes sentiments respectueux,
Lemony Snicket
¿Quién puede ser a estas horas? (All The Wrong Questions, #1)
Lemony Snicket
Un pueblo de costa que de repente ya no está en la costa. Un objeto robado que no ha sido robado. Un Lemony Snicket adolescente en una de sus primeras (y más extrañas) investigaciones, repleta de personajes y situaciones a cual más divertido e inverosímil
¿Cuándo la vio por última vez?
Lemony Snicket
I should have asked the question "How could someone who was missing be in two places at once?" Instead, I asked the wrong question -- four wrong questions, more or less. This is the account of the second.
In the fading town of Stain'd-by-the-Sea, young apprentice Lemony Snicket has a new case to solve when he and his chaperone are hired to find a missing girl. Is the girl a runaway? Or was she kidnapped? Was she seen last at the grocery store? Or could she have stopped at the diner? Is it really any of your business? These are All The Wrong Questions.
The Dark by Lemony Snicket (2014-04-03)
Lemony Snicket
Laszlo is afraid of the dark. The dark is not afraid of Laszlo. Laszlo lives in a house. The dark lives in the basement. One night, the dark comes upstairs to Laszlo's room, and Laszlo goes down to the basement.This is the story of how Laszlo stops being afraid of the dark.
Lemony Snicket : l'Autobiographie Non Autorisée de l'Auteur des "Désastreuses Aventures des Orphelins Baudelaire"
Lemony Snicket
Dossier ténébreux avec des éléments disparates qui entraîne le lecteur dans un immense jeu de piste avec Snicket et les personnages des "Désastreuses aventures des orphelins Baudelaire".
Piège au collège (Les désastreuses Aventures des Orphelins Baudelaire, #5)
Lemony Snicket
Violette, Klaus et Prunille devraient se plaire dans leur nouveau collège. Mais ce collège-ci est assez spécial, et la vérité est que les orphelins s'apprêtent à y vivre un bien sinistre épisode. À titre d'exemple, dans ces treize chapitres, les trois enfants vont devoir faire face à une tribu de crabes malveillants, à un règlement stupide, à de longs récitals de violon, à de redoutables tests de contrôle et au système métrique...
WARNING: LISTENING TO THIS TAPE WILL ONLY MAKE YOU WEEP...Dear Listener,
If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school.
Don't.
For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives. Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals. S.O.R.E., and the metric system.
It is my solemn duty to stay up all night reading my history of these three hapless youngsters into a microphone, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably listen to something else.
With all due respect,
LEMONY SNICKET
Cauchemar à la scierie ( Les désastreuses aventures des Orphelins Baudelaire #4 )
Lemony Snicket
Cher Lecteur,
J'éspère que tu n'as pas choisi ce livre en te disant: " Ca a l'air drôle‼ " Si tel est le cas, referme-le vite! De tous les épisodes de la triste vie des orphelins Baudelaire, celui-ci pourrait bien pulvériser tous les records de désolation. Les trois enfant se retrouvent dans une scierie dont le patron est leur nouveau tuteur, mais derrière chaque buche ( ou preque ) est embusquée une embuche. Lunettes cassée, affreux puits de casserroles, pinceuse géante, fumée de cigare qui parle, mystérieux cas d'hypnose, chewing-gum à tous les repas - rien ne leur sera épargné.
J'ai fait le serment, pour ma part, de relater les misère endurées par ces trois enfants, mais ce serment n'engage que moi. Libre à toi, cher lecteur, de te choisir une lecture plus réjouissante.
Avec mes sentiments respectueux,
Lemony Snicket.
Les Désastreuses aventures des orphelins Baudelaire 6 : Ascenseur pour la peur (6)
Lemony Snicket
Baudelaire-barna har fått nye fosterforeldre, men snart finner de en mørk trapp, et falskt spor, noen venner i uheldige omstendigheter, tre mystiske initialer, en løgner med onde hensikter, en hemmelig gang og persillebrus.
Quem poderia ser a uma hora dessas? (Só perguntas erradas, #1)
Lemony Snicket
Em uma cidade decadente, onde se criam polvos para a produção de tinta, onde há uma floresta de algas marinhas e onde um dia funcionou uma redação de jornal em um farol, um jovem Lemony Snicket começa o seu aprendizado em uma organização misteriosa. Ele vai atender seu primeiro cliente e tentar solucionar o seu primeiro crime, aos comandos de uma tutora que chama carro de “esportivo” e assina bilhetes secretos. Lá, ele vai cair na árvore errada, vai entrar no portão errado, destruir a biblioteca errada, e encontrar as respostas erradas para as perguntas erradas - que nunca deveriam ter passado pela cabeça dele.
Ele escreveu um relato sobre tudo o que se passou, que não deveria ser publicado, em quatro volumes que não deveriam ser lidos. Este é o primeiro deles.
Quando você a viu pela última vez? (Só perguntas erradas)
Lemony Snicket
Ainda na cidade de Manchado-pelo-mar, o jovem aprendiz Lemony Snicket terá mais um caso para resolver junto com sua tutora, S. Theodora Markson. Desta vez eles foram contratados pelos Knight para encontrar Cleo, a filha desaparecida do casal. A primeira hipótese é a de que ela teria fugido com o circo - mas, ao contrário do que Theodora pensa, não se trata de uma resposta inteligente e adequada para esse mistério, já que Cleo era uma química brilhante (e não uma artista) e com certeza teria deixado um bilhete. Será que ela havia sido sequestrada? As versões das duas principais testemunhas que viram Cleo no dia de seu desaparecimento são divergentes. Ela foi vista pela última vez no mercado Comidas Incompletas ou no restaurante Faminto's? E foi embora de táxi ou em seu carro novinho em folha?Lemony Snicket contará novamente com a ajuda da jornalista-mirim Moxie Mallahan e dos irmãos taxistas Juca e Chico. Mas será que ele desvendará esse mistério? Ou só fará as perguntas erradas mais uma vez?
Você não deveria estar na escola? (Só perguntas erradas, #3)
Lemony Snicket
O jovem Lemony Snicket começou seu aprendizado em uma organização misteriosa e partiu para Manchado-pelo-mar, uma cidade decadente onde se criavam polvos para a produção de tinta. Acompanhado de sua excêntrica tutora, S. Theodora Markson, ele agora precisa investigar incêndios que estão ocorrendo nesse vilarejo cada vez mais envolto em mistério.
Quem é o incendiário? Que segredos esconde o Departamento de Educação? Por que tantos estudantes estão em perigo? Será que tudo isso faz parte do plano maligno do vilão foragido Tiro Furado?
13 incidentes suspeitos (Só perguntas erradas, #2.5)
Lemony Snicket
Livro extra e independente da série Só Perguntas Erradas, com 13 contos que estimulam o leitor a desvendar os mistérios antes de ler as soluções no final.
A peculiar cidade de Manchado-pelo-Mar é palco de muitos eventos estranhos e é lá que o jovem Lemony Snicket - famoso solucionador de mistérios - tenta resolver seu primeiro grande caso, relatado em detalhes na série Só Perguntas Erradas. Mas os mistérios se sucedem, e o detetive mirim agora terá de descobrir por que quadros caem sozinhos das paredes, quem roubaria um tritão amarantino, como é possível que um fantasma passeie pelo cais à meia-noite e quem faz parte da famigerada Gangue do Tijolão, entre vários outros enigmas.
Lemony Snicket precisará juntar pistas e interrogar testemunhas para desvendar cada caso. Os leitores se tornam membros da organização secreta de Snicket e também participam da investigação: o desafio será resolver os casos antes de ler as soluções, reveladas no final do livro.
Δε θα έπρεπε να είσαι στο σχολείο; (Όλες οι λάθος ερωτήσεις #3)
Lemony Snicket
Is Lemony Snicket a detective or a smoke detector?
Do you smell smoke? Young apprentice Lemony Snicket is investigating a case of arson but soon finds himself enveloped in the ever-increasing mystery that haunts the town of Stain'd-by-the-Sea. Who is setting the fires? What secrets are hidden in the Department of Education? Why are so many schoolchildren in danger? Is it all the work of the notorious villain Hangfire? How could you even ask that? What kind of education have you had?
Maybe you should be in school.
RUNNING TIME ➩ 5hrs. and 52mins.
©2014 Hachette Audio (P)2014 Lemony Snickett
Ποιος μπορεί να είναι τέτοια ώρα; (Όλες οι λάθος ερωτήσεις, #1)
Lemony Snicket
Προτού σκεφτείς να διαβάσεις το βιβλίο που κρατάς στα χέρια σου, κάνε στον εαυτό σου τις παρακάτω ερωτήσεις:
1. Είσαι περίεργος να μάθεις τι συμβαίνει σε μια παραθαλάσσια πόλη που δε βρίσκεται πια δίπλα στη θάλασσα;
2. Θέλεις να μάθεις περισσότερο για ένα κλεμμένο αντικείμενο που δεν κλάπηκε;
3. Πιστεύεις αλήθεια ότι σε αφορούν όλα αυτά; Γιατί; Τι άτομο είσαι; Είσαι σίγουρος;
4. Ποιος είναι αυτός που στέκεται από πίσω σου;
Un mal principio (Una serie de catastróficas desdichas, #1)
Lemony Snicket
Querido Lector,
Siento decirte que el libro que tienes en las manos es extremadamente desagradable: cuenta la triste historia de tres niños con muy mala suerte. Los hermanos Baudelaire llevan una vida repleta de desgracias e infortunios. Vaya, que son un imán para las catástrofes. Sólo en este librito, se enfrentan a un malvado codicioso y repulsivo, sobreviven a un incendio terrible, a un complot para despojarlos de su fortuna y se ven obligados a llevar ropa que pica. Yo tengo la triste obligación de escribir estos desagradables acontecimientos, pero a ti nada te impide cerrar inmediatamente este libro y leer algo más alegre, si eso es lo que prefieres.
Con todo mi respeto,
Lemony Snicket
Tartak tortur (Seria Nierfortunnych Zdarzeń, #4)
Lemony Snicket
Wiedzcie jedno – ten tom przygód nieszczęsnego rodzeństwa Baudelaire jest, jak na razie, najsmutniejszy. Wioletka, Klaus i Słoneczko nie mają czasu na psoty, nie wyjeżdżają na wakacje, a jedynym trofeum, jakie mogliby zdobyć, byłby Puchar Pechowca. Tym razem dzieci zostają wysłane do miasteczka Paltryville do pracy w Tartaku Szczęsna Woń. Tutaj za każdą kłodą drzewa czają się groza i nieszczęście. Rodzeństwo będzie musiało zmierzyć się z mechanicznymi szczypcami, człowiekiem z obłokiem dymu zamiast głowy i hipnotyzerką. W ich życiu pojawi się też Hrabia Olaf, który jest gotów popełnić każdą niegodziwość, aby dopiąć swego. Książki Lemony Snicketa mają w sobie to coś, co chwyta za serce i sprawia, że Seria niefortunnych zdarzeń zyskała miliony wielbicieli na całym świecie, a także została zekranizowana.
Winda Widmo (Seria Niefortunnych Zdarzeń, #6)
Lemony Snicket
Esmeralda i Jeremi Szpetni posiadają ogromny, luksusowy apartament (liczący 71 pokoi osobistych oraz dodatkowo bliżej nieokreśloną liczbę sypialni, salonów, jadalni etc.) na najwyższym - 66 piętrze budynku, znajdującego się przy Alei Ciemnej numer 667, w samym centrum miasta, niedaleko spalonej rezydencji Baudelaire'ów.
Esmeralda Szpetna jest niebywale bogata, jako że pełni funkcję szóstego co do prestiżu doradcy podatkowego w mieście. Jej sympatyczny mąż Jeremi był kuzynem matki młodych Baudelaire'ów. Żywi autentyczny afekt do dzieci, które teraz zamieszkują w luksusowym apartamencie Szpetnych.
Niestety, Jeremi ma tak słaby charakter - mówiąc otwarcie, jest potwornym tchórzem - że dzieci nie znajdują w nim oparcia w swej nierównej walce ze stałym prześladowcą, Hrabią Olafem.
Całe życie Szpetnych poddane jest trendom mody. Dokonali adopcji sierot, ponieważ sieroty są w modzie. Chodzą w garniturach w prążki, bo takie są modne. Piją akwatyczne martini, bo takie jest w modzie - ale natychmiast zamienią je na ohydną pietruszkową lemoniadę, gdy to ona będzie w modzie. Nie jeżdżą też windą, bo to nie jest w modzie.
Wyrzucą sieroty ze swego apartamentu, gdy nadejdzie pora negocjacji z prowadzącym Aukcję Rzeczy Modnych obcokrajowcem Gunterem - oczywiście Hrabią Olafem w przebraniu.
Ciężkie jest życie rodzeństwa Baudelaire.
Nikt im nie wierzy, a mimo to usiłujš zdemaskować kolejny spisek Hrabiego Olafa. Na dnie szybu windy-widmo odnajdują wprawdzie porwanych przyjaciół ze Szkoły Powszechnej im. Prufrocka (tom 5) - Izadorę i Duncana Bagiennych - lecz równie szybko ich tracš. Sprzedani na aukcji przyjaciele zostaną uprowadzeni przez Hrabiego Olafa za granicę z pomocą fałszywej opiekunki, która w istocie jest wspólniczką złoczyńcy.
Zdolne i pomysłowe sieroty Baudelaire pozostanš na łasce pana Poe, który zostawszy Wiceprezesem Banku do spraw Opieki nad Sierotami zarabia na nich (oraz Bagiennych) ogromne pieniądze, ale jest całkowicie bezużyteczny.
Seria Niefortunnych Zdarzeń, jak sama nazwa wskazuje, działa według prawa serii...
Przykry początek (Seria niefortunnych zdarzeń #1)
Lemony Snicket
Drogi Czytelniku!
Z przykrością zawiadamiam Cię, że książka, którą właśnie trzymasz w ręku, jest wyjątkowo nieprzyjemna. Opowiada ona historię trójki dzieci, którym wszystko układa się fatalnie. Pomimo uroku osobistego i inteligencji rodzeństwo Baudelaire wiedzie żywot pełen przykrości i łez. Od pierwszych stron tej książki, gdy dzieci bawią się na plaży i otrzymują tragiczną wiadomość, nieszczęście depcze im po piętach. Są jak magnesy przyciągające pecha.
Akademia Antypatii (Seria Niefortunnych Zdarzeń, #5)
Lemony Snicket
Wioletka, Klaus i Słoneczko trafiają wreszcie do szkoły.
Kochające książki i wiedzę rodzeństwo bardzo cieszy się z tej odmiany swego tragicznego i najeżonego niepowodzeniami losu.
Powszechną Szkołę Imienia Prufrocka traktują jako najbezpieczniejsze schronienie przed czyhającym na ich majątek okrutnym kuzynem, hrabią Olafem. Jednak spotkanie z wicedyrektorem szkoły, Neronem, rozwiewa wszelkie nadzieje rodzeństwa na uniknięcie kolejnej życiowej katastrofy.
W jakim przebraniu hrabia Olaf zaatakuje tym razem?
Lemony Snicket opisując losy sympatycznych, zdolnych i dobrze wychowanych dzieci dowodzi, że nie ma sprawiedliwości na tym świecie.
Ogromne Okno (Seria Niefortunnych Zdarzeń, #3)
Lemony Snicket
To kontynuacja odysei Wioletki, Klausa i Słoneczka Baudelaire'ów, ściganych przez niezmordowanego, chciwego i okrutnego Hrabiego Olafa. Groza narasta i narasta...
Gabinet Gadów (Seria Niefortunnych Zdarzeń, #2)
Lemony Snicket
W książce, którą w tej chwili trzymasz w ręku, dzieci będą musiały znieść: wypadek samochodowy, straszny smród, jadowitą żmiję, długi nóż, ciężką, mosiężną lampę biblioteczną oraz ponowne pojawienie się osoby, której miały nadzieję nigdy więcej nie oglądać.
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