"It's [therapy] the safe word of the emotionally illiterate. A convenient, yet enlightened, way to throw the discomfort of care into someone else's lap. As if each kind of care is interchangeable."

LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS!!! I know there are therapists and other various mental health professionals on Pagebound, along with people in general care-focused professions (I'd include librarians here), so I really want to hear y'all's thoughts on this.

Personally, when I was on social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok, the conversations around mental health and emotional literacy were appalling. For context, I was on these apps when I was around 16-18 years old, so, still very much growing in my emotional maturity. At this time, I was exploring things like depression, anxiety, neurodivergence, etc. In the spaces I was in online, these attributes were treated as excuses for an array of disrespectful and immature behavior. And the solution for people on the receiving end of this behavior: "go to therapy!" It was an endless cycle of "you're mentally ill, dump your problems on others"-->"your friend dumped your problems on you, protect your mental health! Tell them to go to therapy." This was so damaging to me as a young person trying to navigate what it meant to be mentally ill, to develop community, and to be present for others while still setting boundaries. Struggling with these things is a natural part of being a teenager, to a degree, but the influence of social media made it all-consuming.

I strongly believe that this concept of "I'm not your therapist" has been extensively damaging to young people's understanding of community. It's also frustrating that any time conversations like this come up, anyone with this stance is expected to provide the caveat of "don't trauma dump though! Therapy still has value!" Even the author immediately does that following the excerpt I quoted above. I think, in this context, it goes without saying that therapy has value. The question is, when does that value become overshadowed by individuals' desire to shift responsibility and "discomfort of care" to someone else? How has this mindset harmed society?

I'm getting to the end of this and realizing I haven't even touched on the last part of the quote, "as if each kind of care is interchangeable." This is another incredibly important consideration! A 15-year-old with social anxiety likely doesn't need the same kind of care as a 40-year-old who just survived a plane crash. How has the conflation of mental illnesses and the singular treatment of "therapy" affected people's views on resources available to them and on the idea/action of community care as a whole?

I'm curious to see how this mindset shows up across careers, cultures, age ranges, etc.. What are your thoughts?

“It’s difficult to know if the qualities I see are the ones that will stay; what is show, and what is character? Kindness can be a veneer, stripped as soon as it’s safe for cruelty and apathy to crawl out of the hatch.”

The author just keeps tickling my brain, her writing makes me keep wanting to stop and read what I just read, again. I really loved this particular passage from the book, it highlights the inherent trust required to fall in love with someone. At some point, you have to allow yourself to trust this person is who they say they are, and that what you are presented with isn’t just a mask.

The characters slowly trying to figure each other out is so well written, I love this book so far.

this book is unfortunately doing what the title says but i want that pride badge so im finishing it and hopefully will end up liking it more soon

”When I first met Vincent, I thought I was smarter than him, in the same way I think I'm smarter than most people when I first meet them, a sure-fire sign that I am probably, in fact, quite stupid.”

Max is so judgemental yet self-aware, and her attempts at saying and doing the right thing are hilarious.