reading books that are emotionally heavy back to back is truly doing numbers on my mental health, but will i stop? no lmao

in the spirit bares its teeth, we re-discover every single horrifying way in which men (cis-men, specifically) can inflict pain and violence onto those who are more vulnerable. the fact that all the victims in this book were children and groomed into this violence made this all the more difficult to read at times.

in silas, i truly saw myself. the way he describes his relationship to womanhood despite not being a girl/woman resonated so deeply. the way he describes his neurodivergence (tics, self-soothing behaviors, the little rabbit in his chest telling him how to mask) was also so resonant; almost painfully so at times. through his internal monologue, silas asks a question that i have asked myself many times; "does the neurodivergence cause transness (or vice versa)?" and in seeing neurodivergence and transness in others in an isolated form, reassures him that there isn't just something wrong with him. (fun fact, though, there is a high intersection between autism diagnoses and identifying as trans, you can read more in this article here if interested!)

what i enjoyed about this book was the unique magic system, and the exploration of identity, trauma, safety/survival, and the ways in which patriarchy oppresses those who are different. the spirits are not the true horror in this book; the men are. it was so satisfying to see the girls come together in the end and do what they can to resist.