I raise a glass of chocolate milk to my first Chuck Tingle book. I love it, it is truly peak and no book will ever reach these new romance standards.

I do have to unfortunately remove a star due to anatomical errors. Morn's dick would have been severely injured by a handjob as sharks are covered in teeth-like structures called denticles. Rubbing against shark skin causes a painful and bloody carpet burn. Not ideal for a finjob. Additionally, I wish Tingle could be a little more creative with the penetrative sex. Male sharks have a reproductive structure called claspers. These are inserted into the oviduct of female sharks to transfer sperm. Yoko being a brain surgeon, should have been more anal about being scientifically corrected and referred to his organ as his clasper and not dick, but I guess love makes you open to more common terminology. Since this is my first Tingle book, I won't judge too much for not accurately naming Dr. Yoko's claspers.

The plot wasn't bad, though I wish we got more in Morn's and Cort's disagreement in the end. Perhaps Morn and Dr. Yoko could send Cort a holiday card as a big fuck you to Cort's negative views on romance. Cort only acts as the instigator that causes Morn to irresponsibly drink chocolate milk, but there is no resolution or arc for their opposing world views. Perhaps Cort will appear in a different story - perhaps a grumpy x sunshine romance. There is a small plot hole, who is the angry sailor man at the end? Was he watching the whole time? I feel like the shark jumping authorities should look into protecting sharks from perverts as well and banish this sailor perv. A positive for the pair, I appreciate the inclusion of brain surgeons in romance, it is such a hard field to get into, and Dr. Yoko is a MULTI SPECIES surgeon. Morn has found himself a very handsome and intelligent Megalodon and I'm jealous.

There were also some spelling and grammatical errors, so I do have to deduct stars in the quality section.

I cannot judge the sex as I have never had sex under water and then breached the surface at the exact time of a climax then blissfully stayed suspended in the air before diving back into the water. Will report back when I do.

EDIT: I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT THE BLOWJOB! PSA: SHARK TEETH ARE SHARP AND THEY DO NOT HAVE 'LIPS' DO NOT ENGAGE IN SHARK BLOWJOB I REPEAT DO NOT ENGAGE!! NO MATTER HOW MUCH SEXUAL TENSION THERE IS BETWEEN YOU AND A SHARK

YA at its absolute best. Kaz Brekker if I had read this as a teen as intended you would have been added to the patchwork of my soul or whatever. Incredible character work, genuinely good & flavorful prose, hilarious dialogues, gripping stakes and a lot of heart. I want to see them again immediately and I want them to break my heart. This was absolutely delicious.