Some quotes bc for real, there are so many good ones!

"Of the three, only Medusa was mortal, which is of course why we remember her name; as always in myth, women win their fame by dying."

"Now, I was understanding that an unbeautiful woman is an unfulfilled promise to the world."

"Even when you’re not trying to attract a man sexually, even when you want nothing to do with men or sex, our cultural aesthetic values for women are maddeningly inextricable from the penchants of powerful men... it locks you into a space framed by appetite."

Talk about a gut punch & putting to words the things women know but often can't say.

Also as an aside, the book uses feminine pronouns and words, but the author makes clear she is including anyone who has been or is being perceived as a woman, even if you haven't always or no longer do.

I did struggle with this section a little. Relating the addition of playing a game on your phone to participating in beauty, she says:

"In the case of beauty, though, everyone is playing. Everyone is playing. There’s no app to close—if you stop participating, if you cancel every waxing appointment and quit your diet and stop putting on mascara day after day after day, you just stop accruing points. It’s hard to even know how to try to stop. It’s hard to want to. There’s a reason we call these clicker games addictive. The repetition itself, the striving and occasional reward, is the first tendril of obsession. And then there’s the sunk cost: If I stop now, I lose everything, because what I’ve built only matters as long as I accept and live within this fictional world. The rewards you get for diligent gameplay are fake, but they’re fake the way money is fake: a consensual delusion scaffolded only by our own agreement to behave as though it’s real. Try to live outside the fiction and see how far you get."

I'm not really sure what to make of this. I can't tell if I agree or disagree, or where I am specifically hung up. I do think that every oneis perceived through the lens of the game of beauty, but does that mean you are playing by being perceived? If I don't go through the actions of beauty, am I playing anyway simply because others are? I do agree I exchange in the currency, because society is built that way & it's inescapable - there is no choice. But does a man thinking my piercings & colored hair are attractive mean I am suddenly playing?

Maybe i just dont want to admit to myself that i am still playing despite never adopting and or intentionally shedding the vast majority of participating in beauty. It sucks to grapple with the ways in which we are forced to participate even when we are actively trying to opt out.

"Monsters exist in opposition to normality: exaggeratedly large or small, too many limbs or too few eyes, too complex or too rudimentary. Monstrosity is relative, born in the gulf between the expectation and the reality. Even Godzilla could live happily in a Godzilla-scale Tokyo. But if the expectations are too narrow, nearly anything can become monstrous. If you are only allowed to be tiny, it is grotesque to be medium. If you are only allowed to be quiet, it is freakish to be loud. The more you are circumscribed, the easier it is to deviate, and the more deviation comes to seem outlandish or even dangerous. For women, the boundaries of acceptability are strict, and they are many. We must be seductive but pure, quiet but not aloof, fragile but industrious, and always, always small. We must not be too successful, too ambitious, too independent, too self-centered—and when we can’t manage all the contradictory restrictions, we are turned into grotesques. Women have been monsters, and monsters have been women, in centuries’ worth of stories, because stories are a way to encode these expectations and pass them on. We’ve built a culture on the backs of these monstrous women, letting them prop up tired morals about safety and normalcy and feminine propriety. But the traits they represent—aspiration, knowledge, strength, desire—are not hideous. In men’s hands, they have always been heroic."

What an incredible opening!

I'm particularly struck by "if expectations are too narrow anything can be monstrous." Who has more expectations placed on them than women? Who is more scrutinized, judged, prescribed to, forced to conform than women? Who has had to navigate the kaleidoscopic shift of expectations in any given room more than women? Particularly, especially, women of color.

"Monsters are signposts, in other words, to separate acceptable from unacceptable, what’s allowed from what is not."

Who of us haven't been warned by way of another womans tragic fate that, we are told, she brought upon herself?

Super excited about where this book is going. I highlighted like half the chapter!

After a litany of disappointing reads, I am curious as to what YOUR last 5 star read was (within any genre). Feel free to elaborate on why you gave it 5 stars or just stick with the basics!

If you don’t use star ratings, then just whatever your most recent loved/perfect book was would fit as well! 💜

I promise this will be my last post about this, but I really couldn't resist. Today is the last day of my 32-year teaching career. I am officially retired in 4 hours. I was going to post something about what teaching meant to me today but then a student handed me a note. The note said everything I felt about teaching. It was wonderful. It completely encapsulated why I think my job is so important. For any teachers out there, or anyone who wonders why people teach, I'm posting the note here for you (I did ask my students' permission). I am not going to lie, it was hard for me not to sit down with her and say," Let's see if we can tighten this up," but I didn't. These are her words, complete.

I just wanted to say thank you for being one of the best teachers I have ever had. It honestly makes me really sad to know that you are retiring this year, especially since I graduate tomorrow night. It feels emotional knowing that this chapter is ending because you have been such an important teacher to me and so many other students. Thank you for always making me laugh, especially on days when I was in a bad mood or going through a hard time. Even when I didn’t feel like smiling, somehow you always found a way to make class fun or make me laugh without even trying. That meant more to me than you probably realize. You made school easier on hard days. You are not just a teacher to me, you are someone I will always remember for your kindness, humor, patience, and the way you always cared about your students. A lot of teachers teach lessons from books, but you taught lessons that people will carry through life. You made a difference in so many lives, including mine. It honestly hurts to know you are retiring, because teachers like you are hard to find. I’m really going to miss seeing you at school, hearing your jokes, and the way you could always make everyone smile. Even Years from now, I know I will still remember your class and the impact you had on me. As I graduate tomorrow night and move on to high school, I just want you to know that I’ll never forget you or everything you’ve done for us. Thank you for always being supportive, funny, caring, and real with your students. You truly made school a better place. I hope you have the best retirement ever and an amazing summer. You deserve the happiness, rest, and so many good memories after everything you have done for your students over the years. Thank you for everything, Mr. Daley. I am going to miss you so much.

Reading the translator’s note - I had honestly never given so much thought to how much goes into translation. She’s clearly put in so much effort to create a masterpiece. I’m really excited to read it, and I think I’m going to read it out loud! (To myself, lol, unless my family is willing to submit to nightly entertainment!)

What do you mean I’m almost finished?!!

I’ve loved the narration of this story. It’s so delightful!

I forgot that this one was the battle book. I'm still enjoying it but I just don't care about big battles, I'd rather read about the hobbits stopping for dinner every day lol

“When a feminine face might belong in your a secret Gorgon, any woman could be a monster. Perhaps every woman was.”

Just wanted to highlight this! 🥰

I love Elesbed (and Butter) so much. 🥹