This makes me reflect heavily on my own family dynamics. Quite frankly, I've tried to set boundaries because my mom does just these things - she enters my apartment when I'm not home, she does some chores while she's there, and she drops off food. It's hard to talk about, because what adult doesn't want some extra help? And yes, it is nice to come home sometimes and see my dishes were washed.

But I also have this sense that I'm being robbed of independence, because independence comes with learning from your failures. My family was deeply unhappy when I talked about moving away, although that's a goal that I've always had, because I knew from a very young age that my family loves me very much but would also stop me from really meeting with who I am as a person outside of my family. And it ended up being that they moved away (even if it was just 45 min) because of particular circumstances. I don't want to talk about them here. But my dad cried when they moved away and was like, who's going to make soup for you?

Me? I was thrilled. And it really changed my life for the better. I didn't go crazy or do anything wild, but I love being able to set my own schedule. I love cooking for myself. I love being able to TNR and foster cats without anyone telling me otherwise. I'm even really proud that I worked out a sustainable cleaning schedule that works for me.

But that being said, it fills me with a sort of disgust to read about the narrator, because I'm so intimately familiar with that kind of unwillingness to be independent. My sibling is older than I am, lives with our mother, despite vacillating between the joy of being taken care of and hating the lack of boundaries, and is basically incapable of dating as a result. My mother is similarly trying to help my sister by taking care of all of her daily needs, but sometimes, I think it would be better for her to just turn away atp. At the same time, I can't turn away from the book. The narrator has a sort of melancholy and dissociation that fascinates me.

I can tell that part of the reason she is the way she is, is because of an SA. But I'll have to read further to understand fully.