”She thought that men such as her father could be stern and men could be cold like Virgil, but women needed to be liked or they’d be in trouble. A woman who is not liked is a bitch, and a bitch can hardly do anything: all avenues are closed to her.”

It’s still the same today. This is one of the reasons I find her “ego” so endearing. She’s not just vapid, she’s calculated. She knows as well as any woman that her gender is a disadvantage and she knows how to play the game and use what she has to her advantage. Even today, being liked is crucial for women in many situations, especially in our careers.

This makes me think of the yellow wallpaper again, beyond the creepy “there’s something in the walls” vibe the books share. I took an amazing feminist lit class in college where our tutor was focusing on monstrous women. She told us that Victorian women were held to a standard of being angels. If they weren’t angels, they were monsters. Wanting too much, not being content, being too opinionated, and being depressed could get you labeled defective, or as not performing womanhood correctly. The rest cure was intended to “chill them out” by locking them in a room and not letting them use their minds. Gilman wrote the story because of she felt she almost went insane when she underwent to rest cure when she had postpartum depression.

A woman who is not liked is a bitch. A woman who does not perform womanhood as expected is hysterical or a monster.

Natalie was a walking contradiction in many ways. In a religion where women are expected to submit, she found that she didn't have a husband worth submitting to. To fix this, she pulled all the strings in the background to give herself the life and power she craved. She became the invisible head of her household to portray an image of the perfect Christian wife, who submits to her husband's authority and finds her purpose in raising kids.

She orchestrated her own oppression and in the end found how harmful these expectations really are. Her life shows us that participating and submitting to the patriarchy does not make you immune to its damage, or put you above other women - even though she thinks it does. Her competitiveness with other women was fascinating and a perfect example. It's often said that conservative men don't want conservative women, because they aren't exciting or fun to break. Caleb's relationship with Shannon shows this perfectly. Natalie spends her whole life turning herself into the exact kind of woman a man like Caleb is supposed to want, but still comes second to an exciting, more liberated woman.

The most satisfying part was the ending. Natalie obsesses over Reena to the point of cyberstalking. At times, it seems like her entire social media presence is in response to Reena, as Natalie is constantly comparing herself to her, and mentally tearing Reena down every chance she gets. In the end, Reena, a successful anchorwoman with a family of her own, interviews a shackled Natalie. Reena has "won" but Natalie still tries to tell herself its the other way around.