"Night approaches fast, but I know it’s not eternal. This blanket of darkness isn’t our forever. Their evil isn’t forever. Not as long as we have our faith and Syria’s history running in our veins."

I know this is a YA novel but I think regardless of age, this book is something everyone should read at least once in their lives. It's important; the story may be fiction but the experiences these characters go through are not. It's happening all around us, the horrors that people around the world go through on a daily basis and the world turns a blind eye to it.

Man, this was a rollercoaster and a half. For the entirety of the book, I was at the edge of my seat, stressed as hell for these characters. The uncertainty and fear that we could lose them at any given moment. The fear that is unfortunately a reality many face in today's world. The author nailed it, the emotions we feel. What is beautiful that in the midst of all the horrors, the resilience they still have and the hope that fuels their veins is extraordinary.

When I leave, it won’t be easy. It’s going to shred my heart to ribbons, and all the pieces will be scattered along Syria’s shore, with the cries of my people haunting me till the day I die.

As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow follows the story of Salama Kassab, an 18-year-old pharmacy student forced to become a surgeon to help her community in the face of war in the Syrian revolution. A girl who's had to grow up way too fast and faces unspeakable horrors, focused on helping her community whilst trying to battle her own guilt and trauma in the wake of losing everyone she's ever loved apart from her sister-in-law, Layla, who is pregnant. Here, she faces the struggles of trying to find a better life for them both by leaving the country but grapples with the guilt of leaving everything behind when she is so desperately needed. It doesn't help that her worst fears manifest in the form of Khawf, a person only she can see, one who always shows her the worst possible outcomes if she doesn't do what she is supposed to do.

‘I know we met yesterday. But I’d like to believe in an alternate universe, where this –’ he gestures between us – ‘would have worked out spectacularly.' In this story, she meets Kenan; a person destined for her in her might life. In a life where they aren't riddled with war, loss and devastation.

In a historic city plagued by bombs, life has persisted. I see it in the green vines waking up from their winter slumber, squirming through the rubble. Daffodils blooming, their petals opening bashfully. I see it in Layla, who smiles more, now that I do. When I see these subtle signs of life on my way to the hospital, my heart expands.

This book is YA, and it certainly reads as a YA which had me feeling a bit eh to start with but please do not let that deter you. There were moments which had me cringing but the characters are so young, it is to be expected. They are cheesy but the love between Salama and Kenan is so pure, they're really really :')

Salama. Oh, bless her heart. I loved her so much. She is so strong, despite all of her trauma and losing everything, she comes into the hospital day after day, sees atrocities noone at any age should bear witness to, and she carries on. It's a struggle, but she is so persistent and her hope unwavering despite her worst nightmares and fears. She was flawed but you can't help but root for her.

And Kenan, oh bless him. He was such a sweetie too. My issue with Kenan is that he felt too perfect. There were no flaws about him really. Everything was good. I get that we view the story in Salama's view so it was how he was portrayed through her lens but it irked me at times that he simply could never do any wrong ever. What is so compelling about characters is their flaws as well as their positive traits, but he seemed to have no flaws whatsoever which made me think a bit eh in parts.

The story does an amazing job at portraying the horrible reality many face around the world in today's society. It does a much better job at portraying it than the stuff the media chooses to portray. The book does a great job at humanising refugees. As the book states, "No one takes to a rickety boat on the sea if there is another choice. More people need to listen. People who flee their war-torn countries aren't doing it to 'take your jobs' or your homes like some idiots try to claim. They wouldn't choose to leave the country they love, leave everything they've ever known behind whilst risk being separated from their loved ones and struggle across the seas in flimsy boats across if they had the choice. They are trying to survive because it's either do that or die anyway.

As a fellow Studio Ghibli lover, the references were cute (though the amount of times it was referenced did get borderline tedious sometimes and felt cheesy, but I didn't dislike it). The relationship between the characters was really sweet. The book does a great job at portraying the struggles Syrians and many alike face and the guilt and trauma that comes with it as they battle between the choice of leaving their country behind to survive or stay and die anyway. The portrayal of these characters and the way they remain true to their faith was so so lovely to see also. The representation was beautiful.

Whilst it does a fantastic job at portraying the lives of civilians, I was hoping it would touch more upon the political side a bit more because tbh I still feel like I didn't truly quite understand what was going on in the background. At times it felt like the war was just a backdrop to the love story and this is what prevents me from rating it as a 5 star but still an important story to be told nonetheless. It is so beautiful and gutwrenching and I definitely went through the motions with this book.

I wanted to take my time with reading this book and fully digesting it but I couldn't put the book down. It was a lot, very heavy and I feel like I've had a book hangover after this. I definitely need to read something a bit lighter for my next read but I regret nothing. This is a story that needed to be told.

"‘Insh’Allah, we will come back home. We will plant new lemon trees. We’ll rebuild our cities, and we will be free.’

immediate post-read thoughts:there is a lot to unpack here. there’s so much i want to say. review to come. this is one of those where i really need to think about it. i had no intention of finishing it so quickly but i couldn’t help myself. i needed to know what happened. i wanted to read slowly, to take it all in but i just couldn’t put the book down.

my heart feels so heavy. this book may be fiction however it represents the lives of the unheard and of the horrors people face in other countries even now while the world continues to turn a blind eye to it. and how in the face of war, and pain and god, so much suffering, one thing that always prevails despite all the bad: hope.

I’ll talk more about my thoughts when i can sort them out a bit more and I’ll edit my review then. but wow. i think if i wasn’t currently on antidepressants I would’ve been crying a lot 😭 i wish i could cry. this book made me want to cry sm but i just couldn’t. man. full review to be edited