The whole idea of the story is super cool and interesting, and the exploration of kink was amazing to see, but I have to admit I'm disappointed with the writing style and execution.

The plot is so rushed that there’s not really time for us to see their relationship develop, giving it no real depth and reducing their chemistry to simple insta-lust. Jay is telling her he doesn't date, and in the next chapter he's already begging her to let him date her. Then, around the 50% mark, it suddenly skips to two months later with no real reason or build-up, which was pretty odd. We didn't get to see their relationship develop at all, we just saw them fuck twice and then boom: she's meeting his family.

For someone who emphasizes about how important communication and consent it, Jay really had no problem kissing her without asking first simply because “he couldn’t stop himself”. Maybe it's a small thing for you, but it still bothered me a lot. Why did their first kiss had to be like that, it makes no sense to me. There are even sentences like "shock held me rigid, my body tense" and then "he took advantage of my surprise, claiming my mouth with possessive demand". Honestly, that was not sexy considering how he's all about consent in any other situation that is not this specific moment.

It was also annoying how the only thing Jay ever says is "fuck". When he's excited he says "fuck", when he has nothing to say he goes "fuck"... Like, dude, don't you know other words? It was so irritatingly repetitive. There's literally around 25 sexually frustrated exclamative "fuck" in just the first 18 chapters.

I went in with such high expectations and now I’m really sad. I might still read the other books of this series, or even other series by this author, because the stories do sound interesting and the amount of disability representation really makes me happy, but I hope the other books are a little more developed or I won't enjoy them either.

Actual rating: 2.5 stars (maybe 2.75)

Content warnings: reference to foster care, cheating (past trauma), toxic relationship, emotional abuse, reference to sexual trauma and addiction, mention of cancer, explicit sexual content and kink, ableism, alcohol.