My Selling Pitch:
Campy BANGER of a debut. Tangled meets Deadpool meets Assistant to the Villain. Enemies to lovers madcap shenanigans.

Pre-reading: Protip: if a book isn't retooled Harry Potter fanfiction, don't market it that way! Keep the TERF away from a debut author. Every single edition of this got the most beautiful artwork, like holy shit, the books are gorgeous!

(obviously potential spoilers from here on) Thick of it: Why are you starting your audiobook with a glossary? That’s abusive. (Skip it. You’ll miss nothing.)

LOVE the chapter title. Let Olivie Blake get her hands on that.

It’s reminding me of the Kingsman movie immediately, and like Ally Carter’s spy romances. It’s got that Olivie Blake, Princess Bride, Assistant to the Villain brand of fantasy camp.

Ugh, another shadow daddy?

Wow, writing on the wall is a new way to infodump.

The way my brain went to oh, she has Tiger Beat celebrity posters up on the wall and not she has anatomy posters because I’m a fucking horny idiot. (And an old one at that.)

This has to be a Shrek joke.

Oh, she said he’s got Flynn Rider’s smolder.

So far, this stands on its own and does not need Harry Potter.

This is timely with its vaccination insults. Go off, queen. Fuck the current admin!

pettifogging

That is such a missed opportunity for a laugh to not have a murders and executions business card. (Not everyone shares your hard-on for American Psycho, Samantha.)

jejune

I'm enjoying it, but the humor could've used some work.

glossectomy

I'm kinda checked out. Lotsa words. Very little relevance.

See, like the actual joke she’s made- the fact that the pub sign now says ‘shag him’- very funny. The way she’s phrased it, kind of nips that.

ovate

I feel like this makes a funnier graphic novel than it does a book because so many of the jokes are visual or rely on body language.

Pink Pony Club!🎶

I can’t process what a clitoris licorice would look like.

I SPAT at the cream pie door.

Oh boy, here’s the humor! Tiptoes away in horse girl

Take a shot every time this book mentions onions. (We ditch this gag, thank god.)

See, like just tonally that list sounds better within the sentence and is funnier if you mention three smells instead of only two.

Canescent

Bi for bi!

He gives Flynn Rider.

So she's Cinderella’s Tremaine.

sedulous

I prefer the male narrator a lot. I wish he read the whole book.

This chapter has gorgeous imagery. It’s very Emily Wilde.

Bagatelle

How do you get 6 feet out of a bucket?

Bio warfare??? Did not have that on the bingo board for this book. (Read a blurb, Samantha!)

Inutile

Ormolu

Love a dog man.

I think she thinks this pube dialogue is funny and it’s really not.

JUST SMASH. I do like them. I think I like this book. It just needed a better edit.

See, like the visuals are begging to be drawn or like turned into a TV show, but it doesn’t quite work as a book.

Gannet

I so prefer the Osric chapters and the narrator for him.

I love him.

Flaneurs

Cicatrised

This book is really a vocab workout!

I love his man tantrums.

I'm having such a good time. Like when this book is on, it’s ON!

I love a brat. I just do.

Oh, it’s making me chuckle today.

This book’s had so many giant cocks in it, homie better be intimidating when they finally get down to it even though the book kinda reads like she pegs him at various magical locations lmao.

Sabrina Carpenter has entered the chat.

This book is at its best when it’s emulating Tangled. Like this is the Snuggly Duckling scene.

Keep abreast made me snort.

He’s so boyfriend. So babygirl. I fear I must have him.

No, your honor, I love him.

I love the dogs!

Oeillade

I LOVE THEM.

These middle chapters have vastly improved. From the Randy Unicorn onwards I’ve been having the best time. He’s so Flynn/Deadpool. Not getting Draco at all.

I feel like his dad hurt the maid and he saved her, and he’s lying not to embarrass her or say he killed his dad. (Ask again later.)

I’m cackling.

I love the Osric narrator.

Please please please 🎶

They’re so cute, goddamit!

I feel like the solution is he takes up as head of the wardens and Robin Hoods it stealing from the rich and funding the poor’s medical research, and I need them to happily ever after, dear lord!

I’ve seen people complain about the world building for this, and I’m like fuckin’ where? It’s digestible and functional.

ONE BED ONE BED, PLEASE GOD. (Negative.)

Love that he’s murder all humans but save all the animals.

He’s very Key from Long Live Evil.

… That’s dark and I love it.

The government killing off the poor? Color me shocked.

They’re too close to a vaccine, obviously.

I love that he says that to her PARENTS. The boy has no off switch and I ADORE him!

Get past that wonky beginning and then you get to live laugh LOVE for the rest of it.

He’s so lovely.

I’m gonna need book two like immediately.

Please only call her darling from now on.

I like the side characters. I like that they have lives outside of each other. I love he falls first. I love enemies to lovers.

Criminal that they don’t get together in this book, but like I get it. Build that tension, girl! I’m eating it up!

I don’t want this book to end.

I do wish the bathroom humor would stop though.

Froideur

No, because I need more like air.

She had the temperament of a deranged goose. I miss them. 🥲 (The Jasad Heir)

The way that just made me whimper. I feel like we get tons of moments in romance books where the heroine suddenly looks particularly vulnerable and the hero responds with all sorts of salacious things and he’s like it made me want to be gentle. Sir???? In these trying times???? Oh. My heart. LET HIM CHERISH YOU, GOD. (If your book isn’t making me say this about your couple, I don’t want it.)

Zombie soldiers for the possessed order? I like that it had to spell out the relevancy of the plot for me, but I still got there before the characters. I feel like this book distracts you with enough balls in the air (and it’s trying to juggle a bowling ball of sexual tension) that this is a satisfying reveal.

Oh my god, I don’t want it to be over.

This order definition shit should be at the beginning of the book.

Post-reading: On this episode of Samantha falls hopelessly in love with an MMC and proceeds to ignore any of a book’s flaws. By the end of this, I was like this is 5 stars!

The beginning is not though. The beginning is ROUGH especially compared to the back half of this book. It really needed a heavy edit. It’s info-dumpy. Lobbing world-building at your audience by painting facts on a hospital wall and forcing a character to look at said facts is a new low. That was some lazy fuckin’ work, and this book isn’t lazy, so dunno how that got greenlit. Maybe it’s another bad joke? The humor at the beginning tries very hard, but none of it really lands. A lot of it comes off crass.

Once this book hits its stride though, it is so goddamn funny. The chemistry between the two leads sizzles. It’s actual enemies to lovers. The audiobook is fabulous, although the male narrator was so ridiculously good, and nailed the tone that I wish he had narrated the whole thing. I think Aurienne’s chapters suffered a bit from hospital admin drudgery. It’s world-building, but it’s also a slog, and then we would switch to Osric’s chapters that are all banter and all gas, and it’d be like can we just stay on this side the whole time?

But hoo, am I invested! Once you get over that hump at the beginning, it’s well structured. It’s well paced. The plot makes sense. You’re fed side characters and backstories in digestible chunks that still keep you hungry for more. I flew through the last few chapters and didn’t want them to end.

I know there’s a pretty major scandal going on with this book’s marketing, and it deserves to be talked about. Links to harmful IP should be called out. It’s so frustrating to me too because this book is good on its own! There’s much more flattering comparisons to make. If you liked The Knight and the Moth, there’s a good chance you’ll like this. They’re very similar. I think it’s a real shame to taint an author’s debut like this. While the other books involved in the scandal are retooled fanfictions, this one isn’t. I think there’s whiffs of Harry Potter about it, but I wouldn’t have noticed it if I hadn’t gone in looking for it. I think Tangled is a much more prominent and relevant comparison.

The book also doesn’t hold back from criticizing some current attitudes surrounding vaccinations. Seeing biological warfare as a major plot point in a campy romance book was nowhere on my bingo card. It’s disappointing that that liberal mindset didn’t translate to this book’s marketing.

I think this book will probably alienate some of its readers. Not everyone gets camp. Some people can’t stand a book that makes them look up a word, and this is most definitely a vocab workout. Some of the humor was off-putting to me, and other jokes might make people clutch their pearls. I feel like a good rule of thumb is if you can’t tolerate the word cunt as casual language, this won’t be for you.

There’s one scene I had qualms about. I don’t love that he masturbated to her unconscious body. Out of context, it sounds unforgivable. Within the text, it’s a little more sympathetic given that Aurienne’s just gotten off thinking about him, although she did so privately, and he’s bedridden so he can’t go elsewhere. Still. Not my fave! And it was extra annoying because it’s the only bit of smut we get in a rather raunchy book, and it was not poorly written. When the time comes…I feel like Brigitte’s gonna nail it. Pun intended.

But even with that misstep, the rest of this book is so romantic. Like you can really tell he admires her for how capable she is and that he values her intellect, and it’s not just a case of instalust winning out. This was very much a you’re hot because of who you are, not because of your body, although shit, now that I think about it, that’s smoking’ too! And that’s refreshing to see.

It’s also a bi for bi book and I don’t think I’ve seen anyone talk about that. It’s not performative either. It’s effortlessly worked in.

I dunno, man. I loved it. Flaws and all. Enemies to lovers is the best setup. Argue with a wall. Gimmie more.

Who should read this: Olivie Blake fans Ali Hazelwood fans Assistant to the Villain fans Campy romance fans

Ideal reading time: January

Do I want to reread this: Yes! I feel like the audiobook is gonna be my new lullaby.

Would I buy this: Multiple copies, baby

Similar books: • Assistant to the Villain by Hannah Nicole Maehrer-same book, different font, campy fantasy, workplace romance • The Knight and the Moth by Rachel Gillig-same book, different font, campy fantasy, romance • Voidwalker by S. A. MacLean-urban fantasy, monster romance, enemies to lovers • Masters of Death by Olivie Blake-campy urban fantasy, ensemble cast, queer romance, enemies to lovers • Bride by Ali Hazelwood-urban fantasy romance, enemies to lovers • The Jasad Heir by Sara Hashem-political fantasy romance, ENEMIES to lovers • The Blonde Who Came in from the Cold by Ally Carter-spy romance, enemies to lovers • Emily Wilde’s Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett-campy, light academia, historical, fantasy romance • The Ornithologist’s Field Guide to Love by India Holton-campy, light academia, historical, fantasy romance, • Long Live Evil by Sarah Rees Brennan-campy, meta fiction, fantasy romance satire