i get it, she makes bad decisions. whoopty doo. here’s what i DON’T get though:

first of all, and this has nothing to do with the author or the story/book itself, but i’m honestly just disturbed that i keep seeing reviews calling this a book about the “black female experience”. um, no ma’am. this is an extraordinary story, not an average one and i don’t think the author even writes anything that should make you think otherwise. iont like that!! this is about an individual young, Black, impoverished, traumatized woman’s experience. it’s not exclusive to Black women though. i also don’t like looking at this through a lens of sexual liberation — this is more like sexual deviance as a result of intense childhood trauma but i digress.

second of all & my main issue: how is our mc so consciously aware of micro-aggressions and racism from white people & so insightful on navigating white spaces, all while swearing that she’d never be a white man’s first Black woman…. just to BEG a white man to punch her in her face 20 pages later and letting a white woman berate her while she mammies their child and calls it friendship? that can’t be chalked up to a traumatized woman making a bad decision.

on one hand i’d understand if she was aware that all of this was weird and wrong but thought so lowly of herself as to think that it’s what she deserved — i still wouldn’t like reading that story, but it’d make more sense. but i don’t see how she can assume this “can you believe these white people” persona at work who criticizes her only black coworker for “shucking and jiving” and still simultaneously accept this treatment from white people in her personal life. feels diametrically opposed and i can’t make it make sense.

idk something about this story just disturbs my spirit. really badly. who is it written for? what is it about? what purpose does this story serve? and i can extend sympathy and empathy for the mcs upbringing, her trauma, etc. but it does actually get to a point that your creepy, overly sexual, stalkerish behavior should NOT be relatable to anyone that has access to the general public. (even understanding that the mc’s behavior is likely due to depression, trauma, etc - it’s not an excuse)

wow i haven’t hated a book in a long time but wow wow wow hated this. i hate the tortured artist trope, & i hate that people could read this and genuinely believe that yep — this is what being 23, Black, and female is like. it’s not profound, it’s not deep & it’s not realistic.