more love: books about non-monogamy & polyamory
A collection of nonfiction about consensual non-monogamy (CNM), sometimes called ethical non-monogamy (ENM), with emphasis on polyamory.
Please note: I have not read all of these books, so I can’t fully vouch for quality of content but the aim of this list is to educate and assist, not to demonize or cause more harm to the community.
Open to suggestions! (pun intended)
created by honeydijon
last updated April, 2026
Comments
Books I’m not including and why This comment may be updated as I find books about non-monogamy which I feel are harmful or contain misinformation.
More: A Memoir of Open Marriage by Molly Roden Winter 🔗 — this is one of the more mainstream books about non-monogamy to come out in recent years. It was even featured by Book of the Month! I can appreciate the author’s honesty and vulnerability in telling her story, but the best thing I can say about this memoir is that it is an example of what non-monogamy should not look like.
Many Love by Sophie Lucido Johnson is one of my favourite all time books and would suit this list perfectly.
Thank you for the suggestion!! I added it to my own TBR and to this list 💕
Oh I can’t wait to hear your thoughts!
I may have to make it a priority read!
I think I devoured the whole thing in a single sitting when I read it. And then immediately had my husband read it 😅
Oooh sounds promising 👀
Not this list reminding me about the fact that I know a person who wants to gatekeep polyamory lol
Omg what 💀 the irony of this…
... Whut?? How?? Hahaha
If I remember correctly they want to limit the sources of information about polyamory by vetting people or something...don't ask me how and why. It's baffling. That person is currently in a polyamorous relationship.
I mean… I definitely understand not wanting misinformation and negativity to spread, but gate keeping and creating barriers just seems more harmful to me! 😭 this person you know is baffling me
I... What? 🤦🏻♀️
It's been years since I read Ethical Slut, but it was such a good, eye-opening experience for me! I'm so happy it's on the list - I'll have to check some of the others out too. Thank you for putting this together.
(Also including a Book I'm Not Including and Why section is GENIUS!!! I love that so much!)
Much to my chagrin I must admit I have yet to actually read The Ethical Slut!! 😭 I have read some passages of it here and there but I definitely need to read the whole thing. I’m so happy you like the list!
(Thank you! I figured More is probably one of the better known recent books on non-monogamy - unfortunately 😭 - so I wanted to get ahead of anyone recommending it!! There is enough ignorance and malice and misinformation out there regarding non-monogamy, I don’t want to propagate it more!)
I feel like that is unfortunately the way things seem to go with books in “taboo” topics. I actually haven’t heard of More, but from your note on it, it sounds almost like “confirmation bias” among people who aren’t open to even learning about ethical non-monogamy. I’ll be curious to hear your thoughts on The Ethical Slut whenever you get to it. It felt like a good introduction to the topic for me with a focus on showing how the concepts behind non-monogamy are/can be normalized in Western society instead of sensationalizing the topic.
All that is to say I’m excited to get to The Ethical Slut! I’ve heard a lot of good things and it seems to be basically the sacred text of CNM!
Yeah there’s a lot of misunderstanding and oversexualization of nonmonogamy. Since More is a memoir and not supposed to be objectively informational, I can only judge so harshly but it exemplified toxic mindsets and to me seemed like the people involved were not happy and were not emotionally healthy. If that was my only exposure to real-world non-monogamy I would be horrified 😅
Brilliant list idea!
May I recommend:
Love's Not Colourblind by Kevin Patterson
Building Open Relationships by Dr Liz Powell
8 things I Wish I'd Known About Polyamory, Before I Tried it and Frakked it up! - Cunning Minx (I haven't read this last but it was recommended to me by someone I trust in the non-monogamy community, so I suspect it's good)
Thank you!! I couldn’t find any other lists about the topic, and with the book we found yesterday thanks to @AJ_in_Huchiun I figured it was about time I made one.
Thank you for these, I added them all! 🥰
Definitely!! Such a needed niche. I'm a big supporter of the idea that if you're big and brave enough to have any kind of non-monogamous relationship, you're big and brave enough to do the darn research so you don't just do a ton of harm along the way (barring accessibility issues - and that's where community support and learning comes in!). Feel like our community would be the better for it.
The only one on your list I've actually read was Polysecure, to my memory anyway (not a reliable one lol), and I can definitely attest to it being a good one!
Yes absolutely! I think nonmonogamy has the potential work for anyone who genuinely wants it to, and part of that is working on your own growth and intentionally learning about relationships and concepts. I’ve read articles and posts but need to branch out into reading more books specifically on the topic. I hope this list can be helpful to other people, but I want to continue to grow my own understanding alongside lived experience as well!
So much this!! I think it can be really vital to be in the community, too, and actively learn from those who have come before you.
