Our Wives Under the Sea: Lovecraft, Lesbians and Loss

Disclaimer: This book is not a typical horror book type story. The horror being explored here is quiet, heavy, and will unfortunately be experienced by one of us at some point in our lives. It's the tragic kind of horror, the kind where you’re helplessly watching someone you love slip away from between your fingers, right in front of your own eyes and the lonely road of grief that accompanies this. So if you're expecting monsters, scares or gory scenes I'm afraid this isn't the horror book for you. But if you’re looking for a story that dabbles in the mysteries of the deep and the complex, intricate emotions that surround illness and death then I’d give this book a go :3 .

Review:

I believe this book really captures the essence of the Eldritch Horror genre, the fear of the unknown, in Leah's chapters well; dark, secluded and maddening unexplainable forces of something so beyond our comprehension working against you, leaving you utterly helpless. While also exploring the heart-breaking journey of her partner Miri as she attempts to care for her returned lover but she's simply a shell of her former self. The jumping between the two’s different perspectives, memories and experiences creates a growing sense of unease and mystery throughout the book both intriguing and sombre.

I found Leah's sections interesting and ,of course, I wanted to know more of the mysteries surrounding the deep forces below and the conspiracies within the lab but I felt far more drawn to Miri's journey. Watching Miri constantly reminisce about Leah (The day they met, their days together, her love of the Leah she knows), how she speaks of Leah like she's already passed and seems to be actively grieving her at times. Only to snap back to the present and see the living ghost of her lover enter the kitchen hollow and alien. The creeping sinking feeling felt by Miri where the woman standing in front of her now IS Leah, but she’s so changed and warped by the sea that she can barely look at her is so crushing.

As the reader you’re constantly watching Miri try to help Leah, while quietly watching Leah fade away in front of Miri who desperately tries to make it work and convince herself things will return to normal soon by trying to work, see friends and "act normal" only to be constantly reminded of her experiences when her own mother’s health started declining (a source of Miri's medical anxiety) and thinking of Leah... Miri began suffering from medical anxiety after watching her mother, a strong willed and proud woman, slowly become weak and frail in her sickness and age. Miri was the partner who constantly checked for new moles, aches and pains expected herself to fall victim to the same health problems as her late mother and be the one to essentially die first in the partnership. So, for Miri, seeing Leah be the one to get sick first, slowly watching her body break down and seeing Leah lose herself to the sickness carries a heavy sadness. I’m sure it’s something we’ve all thought about; the fear of watching someone you love get sick and lose themselves leaving you completely alone. Miri clearly loves Leah so deeply but what affected Leah in the Sea kept her there only returning her dissolving form to the surface for a helpless Miri to see a final time.

Miri attempts to comfort Leah best she can by wrapping her in towels, holding her hand in the salty bath and constantly trying to find answers while desperately looking for the memory of her lost lover in the watery eyes of the corpse the ocean forgot, but throughout the novel, her condition only continues to decline and no answers are given to a cure or cause.

Ultimately Miri slowly watches Leah's body slowly begin to give out in front of her and she can do nothing to save her...the most difficult and self-less decision Miri made was to help Leah pass in peace wrapped in the towels they picked out together for their future home in the gentle lapping waves of the ocean. Miri holds onto all she can as she watches the face of her Leah become one with the ocean and be left with nothing but the grief, memories and soaked towel with Leah's fading scent in her clenched fists.

The quiet, daunting horror of watching someone you love die before your eyes and all you can do is hold their hand in their final moments is something we all dread and this book captured that feeling for me strongly. I would recommend reading it if you're looking for something different within the horror genre that focuses on the characters rather than answers. Obviously I’d love to know more as I stated earlier but I’m happy just experiencing this tale alongside them. We’re just ordinary people like Miri and Leah, we can’t possibly hope to comprehend something so large and impossibly convoluted as an underwater god, being or deity’s what’s or why’s.

But I can understand loving someone, and never wanting to let them go.