i understand their behaviour and reactions are those of teenagers; they are sixteen. i was a headcase at sixteen. doesn't mean i have to be okay with the single-minded, almost blind flip from excitement and hope to rage and resentment.

Arthur in particular is such a twat to Ben. usually unintentionally, but in such a way that really speaks to the class and cultural differences between them. he is a rich, white, Jewish boy whose biggest struggles are being single (up to this point) and his parents struggling to find connection during hard times. he is also selfish, self-interested, and, as a result, frequently a terrible friend to the people in his life. he struggles to hold space for others' experiences and feelings, often not even allowing them to answer his questions before self-righteously evicerating them for however he has decided they've slighted him. 90% of the strife in this book only occurs as a result of Arthur's choices not to listen to something someone is telling him in favour of the narrative he has crafted in his melodrama obsessed, teen brain.

i really, REALLY didn't appreciate the constant textual references to Harry Potter. this book was published in 2018, so likely written in 2016-17, which is right when JKR first showed her hand that she had lost the plot on kindness. i don't fault the authors for not being aware, at the time, of that bullshit; HOWEVER, constantly, structurally referencing it makes the story feel like it needs, or thinks it needs, those references to be relevant. like the authors seem to think that that's how they will be seen as relatable and hip to the kids. Cursed Child was released in 2016. probably just as this book was beginning to be written and/or conceptualized. to reference it so frequently feels gratuitous. i do understand that it is a part of the characterization of these boys, that they love nerd stuff like the Wizarding World and video games and Broadway, but that was clear enough from the arcade, the game references, the conversations with their friends about their interests, the throughline of Hamilton. my frustration here is surely entirely due to my own sense of betrayal by JKR and the Wizarding World as a result, but i feel that if you're going to write for our community, you should keep up to date with who its active enemies are. personally, especially in that time period, i don't believe that a queer coming of age story needs extratextual references of this caliber to maintain relevance.

this book is not something, at this point, that i would actually want to pass along to my teen kid. i have better queer options on my shelf. i've given her better options by one of these authors! it likely reads better if you're actually sixteen. i still think it can't hold its own weight, though, because why else were the references to other intellectual property so heavy handed?