Common philosophy packaged as a revolutionary theory with zero awareness of privilege.

“Let me”be objective as possible.

This book offers some sound philosophy. Recognizing that you don’t have control other over other people and that you do have control over many aspects of your life is useful.

However, there are a number of issues with this book. Firstly Mel Robbins packages “Let them “a theory which it is not. She also writes as if she came up with this concept when, in fact, it’s a very common philosophy that has been reiterated in different words throughout the ages.

Additionally, she fails to address the circumstances and privileges in her own life that led to her success. It’s the classic self-help book issue: It worked for me so it will work for everyone else. She missed an opportunity to address the barriers around socioeconomic status, race, gender, mental, and physical ability, etc. that are out of people’s control and may not be appropriately addressed with the “Let them” concept.

Her failure to address these things is problematic and also potentially harmful. Many people turn to self-help books because they do not have affordable access to other means of self-help or self-care. Therapy is expensive. Life coaches are expensive. Mental health treatment is expensive. If someone reads this book looking for support, finds that it doesn’t work in their life because of her reductive approach, they may feel like they failed or the harm to they’ve experienced is their fault any other number of negative thoughts or feelings. Of course, each person is responsible for their own experience, but at the same time someone writing a health self health book should be aware of the potential impact, both positive and negative.

If Robbins had made this book more inclusive, addressed the context in which “Let them” worked for her, provided resources for folks who have other barriers in which “Let them” is not the only philosophy that they could incorporate into life, this book would have been more successful.

Instead of writing, a self-help book, Mel Robbins wrote a book in which she positions herself as the hero of her own story and has the egotistic view that because she was successful everyone can be. It’s a shame that so many self-help writers completely miss the point and are really writing to help themselves financially rather than to truly help anyone else.

That all being said, I personally found the book to be useful. I applied various aspects of “Let them and Let me” in my life and have experienced some freedom and healing. The context of my experience is I’ve been through decades of therapy and have high self awareness and critical thinking skills that allowed me to parse out the bullshit and take what was useful to me. I say this not to elevate myself, but to just share the context of my experience, recognizing not everyone is working with the same set of experiences and skills Unfortunately, Robbins doesn’t acknowledge this wide range of experience and context and thus this “self help” book is too reductive and irresponsibly written.