This story is so beautifully written that you can’t help but fall in love with it and be completely wrecked by it at the same time. The book opens with the protagonist giving an interview in a public place, when he suddenly notices a young man who looks exactly like one of his past lovers, Thomas.

The story then unfolds through the development of the relationship between the protagonist and Thomas, following them from high school into adulthood. Set in France in 1984, it takes place in a time when being queer was far from accepted.

As I mentioned before, the writing is stunning. The author’s ability to convey such intense emotions in just a few pages is truly remarkable. There wasn’t a single thing I didn’t love about this book. It leaves a deep emotional impact and helps the reader understand what queer people may feel while navigating an unwelcoming environment.

This was one of the most heartbreaking and tragic books I have ever read. These characters will remain forever imprinted on my heart. While reading, I felt as if I were cocooned in a warm embrace, even as the story shattered me.

Raif felt painfully close to who I am: his anxiety and paranoia mirrored my own so deeply that it almost felt like my story, my life, spoken through his words. And Maria… oh, Maria. The way I connected with her uncertainty was overwhelming and unforgettable.

Their love story is raw and intense, at times bordering on toxicity. More than once, I found myself questioning whether I was being deceived into romanticizing something deeply unhealthy, especially during his reflections on suicide. And yet, I understood him. I understood the force of his emotions and them as a couple, the way love can crash over you like a wave, pulling you into passion, despair, and pain all at once.

A devastating, beautiful, and unforgettable read.